Re-gifting

debodun

debodun

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Location
way upstate in New York, USA
I was a little annoyed this year at my family Christmas party. We play a little memory game for prizes. I bring small items for the prizes as do some of my aunts and cousins. Now the past several years I've seen the same items brought back again and again. This year after we were finished playing I got up and said, "Whatever you have throw it away, give it away, or sell it on eBay, but don't bring it back next year!" I got a few "stink eyes", but I just want to see some turnover in the way of prizes. It's like that grab bag gift nobody wants and keeps being re-gifted and passed around. Am I being too critical?
 

No I don't think you're over reacting. A good prize is something that everyone can enjoy. Something as simple as a gift card. An ugly vase or the same tired container of cookies...nobody wants such things, never mind seeing them again every year.
 
fureverywhere said:
Something as simple as a gift card.
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We don't get that complicated or expensive. We limit it to small items with a value if $1 or less. This year I remember a few items that have been making return appearances - a small red bamboo basket, a stuffed bear ornament, a small yarn cross, a large lapel button pin saying "Jesus is the Reason for the Season", a ceramic pencil holder, a small white crocheted doily, a Snoopy figurine, an LED votive candle, and a box of writing paper (probably there were more, but this is what I can recall at the moment).
 

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I think it's really tacky and actually insulting when people bring things they just don't want and try to pass them off as "gifts" - especially over and over. Sheesh, they could stop in the Dollar Store and get something for less than $10. The stinkeye was because they didn't like having it pointed out to them.
 
applecruncher said:
I think it's really tacky and actually insulting when people bring things they just don't want and try to pass them off as "gifts" - especially over and over. Sheesh, they could stop in the Dollar Store and get something for less than $10. The stinkeye was because they didn't like having it pointed out to them.
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Even in the pound/dollar store..they could get something different every year..
 
Just my opinion, but maybe folks are tired of this little game and consider it a chore. When I was working at one place years ago, they had the Christmas exchange gifts, and I think the limit was $10. I know for a fact, everyone including myself hated this little holiday gift giving 'game', nobody looked forward to it and everyone complained to each other on the sidelines about what a crappy gift they got (again). When something is no longer fun, I say move on.
 
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Deb..that's cool you told them :). I know dealing with relatives can be less than "magical"..but hey..at least the same junk won't turn up next year...plus you made me laugh. :rofl:
 
A few days ago, I received an email form an aunt that was still smarting from my reprimand. She said, "You don't realize that not everyone can afford to bring new gifts every year!" I sent a massage back saying that nobody was obligated to bring items for game prizes. I always provided the prizes until a few years ago when other relatives started contributing, but they are taking the idea of re-gifting to the max. It like "I'll bring this thing I don't want to the party and unload it on someone else."

To me, gifting is an art form. You buy for the person knowing their likes and needs. Nothing riles me up on the holidays more that receiving a cheap and obviously thoughtless gift. It's like "I'll just go in the dollar store and grab the first thing I see", or "I'll give this thing I don't like myself". One example is a friend that always gives me a large tin of loose tea. I've told her over and over I prefer tea in bags, but no, she continues to give me loose tea - probably something someone gives to her from the previous year.
 
Nothing wrong with the Dollar Store. I’d rather get a $2 potholder or dishtowel than a $20 box of (something another person just doesn’t want).

That aunt is full of it. Pleading poverty is lame. The issue is not the price of a gift. If people can’t afford a NEW gift of a few dollars they need to save their gas money and stay home.

The loose tea situation....next time give it back, right then and there, and says "Thanks, but as I already mentioned I don't use loose tea. Give this to someone who does." Leave without it.
 
applecruncher said:
The loose tea situation....next time give it back, right then and there, and says "Thanks, but as I already mentioned I don't use loose tea. Give this to someone who does." Leave without it.
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I've had that done to me and it hurts. A few years ago, I gave a friend that collects bird figurines, a pretty Lefton ceramic bisque dove. When she opened it, the look on her face was like she opened a cow patty. She looked up at me and said point blank, "My neighbors gave me a check for $150 and my mother gave me $700." To me it seemed she was inferring my $20 gift was cheap and she only wanted money and amounts in excess of $100. Anyway, I never saw it displayed in her home.
 
....my mother re-gifts all the time, it has got to be a family joke....we just say, 'thank you, mom' and give her a hug....doesn't bother me one bit.
 
debodun said:
I've had that done to me and it hurts. A few years ago, I gave a friend that collects bird figurines, a pretty Lefton ceramic bisque dove. When she opened it, the look on her face was like she opened a cow patty. She looked up at me and said point blank, "My neighbors gave me a check for $150 and my mother gave me $700." To me it seemed she was inferring my $20 gift was cheap and she only wanted money in excess of $100. Anyway, I never saw it displayed in her home.
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Well, that's different. You didn't just try to give her something you didn't want. She's a gimme-pig, and after what she said I'd think twice about setting foot in her house.
 
I avoid re-gifting - it can lead to embarrassment and hurt feelings. If I receive something I don't like or need, it usually goes in with the stuff for my garage sales.

When I was working, I gave my supervisor a beautiful butterfly brooch for Christmas. I guess she didn't think it was so beautiful because the following April, I received it back from her as a birthday gift. She couldn't even wait a year to give it back. Here a collection of my butterfly brooches. Since I collect brooches, I kept it. The one I gave her is in the bottom row, third from the left. I've also had gifts literally thrown back at me like the Valentine's day I gave my mother a box of chocolates.

butterfly pins.jpg
 
Well, someone throwing a gift back at someone indicates some other serious issues. I once saw someone open a Christmas card that came in the mail, rolled their eyes, and said “Yeah, right”. Then they took a pair of scissors and cut it up while cursing. :eek:mg1: (I backed up, and got the heck out of there real fast.)

I also think if someone gives you back a gift that you gave to them, it’s most likely a jab – a passive aggressive message.

Sometimes it’s better not to give a gift at all.
 
Just last week, I gave someone a jar of Trappist jam as a gift. When she saw what it was, she said, "What do you use this for?" Now I thought everyone knew what to do with jam!
 

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