Reflections of My Life

MarciKS said:
i don't like to travel much either. it's hard for me to drive an hr. one way cuz it just exhausts me. that and i have health elements that make travel a pain. i also can no longer drive very far at night because of night blindness. last time i drove to mom's to take care of her when she was sick it took me 2 hrs to get there on a 1 hr trip and i couldn't see crap. scared me to death. the gps was the only thing that kept me from driving off the road.
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Me too. There is no way I can drive at night. I found myself becoming stressed out driving in heavy traffic too. Now, I just leave the driving to others.
 

Well, I did not do my walk. Turned out to be a lot colder out than it looked from my window. I did go to the store on Jazzy. It was a nice ride and I got what I needed. One of the things I love about living alone is that I can change my mind about doing something and it is okay. It is more than okay!
 
I was wrong yesterday about Sonny making that trip yesterday, he was doing it today. Yesterday he went to his lung doctor and ended up with 3 new prescriptions. I guess that makes up for his primary care doctor taking some prescriptions away that he did not need to be taking now. The woman that calls him from time to time to go over his prescriptions with him on the phone (from his prescription insurance I think) is really good. She called him last week and when they were talking about his inhalers, of which he has 3, she asked if he was rinsing his mouth out after using them. He was not. He did not even know he was supposed to be doing that. She was shocked!

At the doctor's yesterday he told the doctor and he was shocked as well! Sonny said he has been in the hospital many times and the nurses give him the inhalers to use and take them back.........never mentioned rinsing his mouth out. Ever since I have known him he has been using the inhalers and that is three years now. Well, he has an infection in his mouth that has to do with this. Now on antibiotics for it.

Today he had to cancel that trip because the new drugs are making him tired and having to pee constantly. So he is home today.
 

Well, I see yesterday I posted that Sonny was staying home instead of making that trip for his friend..........he did not. He came here and met my son's landlord at Jeff's apartment to get him to fill out the landlord form for SNAP. Then he took me to Walmart to grocery shop. We brought home a Subway chopped salad (one of our favorite take out meals) and shared that while we watched Desperate Housewives. A pretty nice day.

I am proud of myself to be staying on my low carbs food plan, basically the Atkins72 plan. Sugar, bread and high carb vegetables (except carrots) always affect me. If I eat them, I feel horrible. Yet I can't pass by the ice cream, Paydays or certain cookies. I have been doing the best I can though it is not easy. I use FitDay to keep track of what I eat. I am very happy and proud......and MOST important is I feel good (less pain). Of course, I want to lose weight, but my main objective is to improve my mobility. I know I can do this.

Sonny sat on the floor in front of my recliner last night to watch television and Rabbit loved it. He was all around him. Licking his back nibbling on his feet and demanding all his attention. I can not sit on the floor........or I'd never be able to get up again, so I can't do that with him. That is how you really bond with a pet rabbit.

This is a picture of Rabbit eating hay under the rocking chair, that he carried in his mouth from his cage. I guess he decides he wants to eat hay but not in the cage so he brings it out.

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I feel like I am on the hardest part of my life journey. Next month I will be 69. Ever since I turned 50, my health turned around to the worst ever. Until then, I was pretty good. My hair and skin were like a younger woman. When I went to my hair salon the hairdresser would call over the others to look at my skin and tell them how old I was. They were impressed and I felt much pride. At 50, I had to have one of my parathyroid glands removed. I do not think that is what dried me out, but menopause. So before I moved here three years ago, I just lived with it. I could not afford to buy supplements, vitamins, lotions or organic foods (just the ones I grew myself). Now I am researching everything and experimenting.

When I lived at my house, Peaceful Forest (my name for it), the forest surrounded it. I was able to forage every day for wild foods that are really good for you. No pesticides on any of them. I once counted that I had over 24 different plants that I ate or used for medicinal purposes. I grew vegetables and canned many for winter meals but ate fresh too. Especially salads. At that time, I could barely afford buying food since we had 3 horses (hay) cats and other bills. So money was so tight that I never had a grocery budget. I used to beg for one but there was nothing for it. The solar/wind system had racked up too much debt and many times a component had to be replaced. That came first there.

I tried to start a garden at Sonny's house, but he is not a gardener. He bought the soil and boxes that he nailed to his deck railing. He did not water them. I did not get to his house often enough to care for the plants and I quickly saw that was not going to happen. So I have to buy my fresh produce at the store. Soon the farmer markets will be open and I will start buying from those. NY state has a program where they give senior citizens $20. in coupons to buy at the local produce markets. I get them every year but I spend a lot more than that through the season.

I was having bad cramps in my calves of my legs and since starting magnesium that has stopped as well as the water that I was retaining. A small improvement so far, but any improvement is plus.
 
This afternoon I have a dental appointment for x-rays. The first step in getting my teeth (hopefully) extracted so I can have dentures that I can use to eat with. The ones I have don't even fit in my mouth anymore. Possibly I could have had them fixed or replaced if I had gone back to the dentist who pulled my teeth. I did not want to go back to him. It was a nightmare there and I just could not step a foot into his office again. Until then, I will eat alone (or with Sonny) and use a mask in public (so no one can see that I don't have my dentures in).

Presently I am in the process of hiring my new aide. She works for my bf and does a super job for him. She does not usually work in the city I live in but Sonny asked if she would consider it and she said yes. He brought her here to meet me and I think she will be a good aide for me. Now it is just paperwork for me (she did her paperwork all ready) and then she has to have a complete physical due to this being a different agency. She worked for this agency until March and then stopped because nobody she was working for used that agency (goes by city or town I think). But that means she has to do the medical thing all over. Red tape of the government agencies. I think they do this to see if you say "never mind" and give up on that idea. I complain and whine about the paperwork but I persevere.

Sonny is babysitting his great grandson, Kolten today so he will be with us this afternoon. He is pretty good, but at times can get loud. But in the store or anywhere in public is well behaved. I always say I am not a "kid person" but he has grown on me......that is until he tries to bang my recliner against the wall! Now I just give him "the look" and he stops.

Hope everyone who reads this has a really nice day!
 
katlupe said:
This afternoon I have a dental appointment for x-rays. The first step in getting my teeth (hopefully) extracted so I can have dentures that I can use to eat with. The ones I have don't even fit in my mouth anymore. Possibly I could have had them fixed or replaced if I had gone back to the dentist who pulled my teeth. I did not want to go back to him. It was a nightmare there and I just could not step a foot into his office again. Until then, I will eat alone (or with Sonny) and use a mask in public (so no one can see that I don't have my dentures in).

Presently I am in the process of hiring my new aide. She works for my bf and does a super job for him. She does not usually work in the city I live in but Sonny asked if she would consider it and she said yes. He brought her here to meet me and I think she will be a good aide for me. Now it is just paperwork for me (she did her paperwork all ready) and then she has to have a complete physical due to this being a different agency. She worked for this agency until March and then stopped because nobody she was working for used that agency (goes by city or town I think). But that means she has to do the medical thing all over. Red tape of the government agencies. I think they do this to see if you say "never mind" and give up on that idea. I complain and whine about the paperwork but I persevere.

Sonny is babysitting his great grandson, Kolten today so he will be with us this afternoon. He is pretty good, but at times can get loud. But in the store or anywhere in public is well behaved. I always say I am not a "kid person" but he has grown on me......that is until he tries to bang my recliner against the wall! Now I just give him "the look" and he stops.

Hope everyone who reads this has a really nice day!
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Hi Kat.... I hope the new aid will work out!
 
Wednesday I had my dentist appointment. Now I have referral for extractions of the rest of my top teeth. That means my insurance will most likely approve it. The bottom teeth are in good shape. It is the bottom denture that is not good. So I will have a new one made that will fit correctly (but not from my original dental oral surgeon......never going back to him), even if I have to pay for it myself. This dentist said to send it to the insurance company (Medicaid) and when they disapprove it I will get a discount. Sounded good to me!

Yesterday I had my hair appointment and Sonny could not take me. He is not doing so good right now and I told him to stay home. I drove Jazzy to my hair salon. I chose this hair salon back in 2018 due to the fact that it is just around the corner. That way if I have to get places on my own in the future I can. And I did and as long as it does not rain or snow I can get there on Jazzy. If it rains I can use my walker but would have to leave early so I can take my time. Though on a hot day like it was yesterday, using my walker to get there would have caused me to have a temperature for sure. I can't deal with heat so well.

There is a coffee hour today in our community room but I don't think I will go. I am having trouble eating sweet things (hurts my teeth) and that is what they usually have. I don't feel like doing much of anything today to tell the truth.
 
Today when I wrote in my journal, I thought about how far I have come since moving here. Three years does not sound like much time. I felt so poor and down about myself at that time. If it wasn't for Sonny always complimenting me and helping me. One of the first times he came to my new apartment, while he was in the bathroom he looked through my cabinet and saw I did not have many of the products a woman usually has.........part of a bottle of shampoo and one of conditioner and bar of homemade soap. He says to me, "let's go to Walmart." Once there he starts telling me to pick out what I need, Then he adds stuff to the cart not only personal products but household cleaning products too. I had planned on buying some of these things when I got my check but after I paid my bills. I was used to conserving.

I found a document that I wrote in probably sometime between 2015-2017. I am pleased to know I actually did something about this and now feel like I am still moving forward in my life. This is what I wrote:

"“I want to move to an apartment in Norwich. I do not want to have to own a car. That alone would save me tons of money. No insurance, no inspections, no repairs, no gas, no registrations or plates. Yes, that is what I need to do. Same with having an apartment. Rent and utilities. Make the most of those utilities. The Senior Housing in Norwich has electric heat, total electric apartment. So I would just pay for that. I know how to conserve. My biggest problem is my loan and credit cards. If I could pay them up before I moved it would be great, but I can’t see how I could do that. My check is only $475. a month. Half of it goes to the debt. I have been struggling to find a way to pay them down, but I need more income. Or something.’

I started out with four credit cards, two retail accounts and one loan from my credit union. Now I have two credit cards that are not maxed out (two with zero balances that I have recently paid off), One retail one that I used to buy my recliner which I will pay off June 1st. The other retail one I paid off last month. That leaves me with three bills to pay, the loan and two credit cards. I am able to pay more on those using the money I used to pay the others with. The key is to not use them. Everything I have bought from Amazon this month I paid with my debit card. If there is something I really want to buy, I now put it on my Wish list and save for it.

I realize I could not have done this on my own. Sonny has helped me. And living here with low rent, low utilities and other benefits for low income has helped a lot. I am thankful and appreciative of all of that too. I feel stupid for ever getting in that situation to begin with. But I did and it is now water under the bridge.
 
This is Chrissy in the blue dress and Baby Jane in the pink one. I bought Chrissy myself when I was in first grade, I think. She was on the back of a cereal box for $3.00. Every day my father gave me a quarter for my lunch at school and it was only 20 cents unless you bought a cup of ice cream for a nickel more. I saved up those nickels until I had enough to buy her. She was the first doll I ever bought for myself and I still have her. Baby Jane I got for Christmas one year. I have a few others.
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My mother told me that my aunt, her youngest sister told her that she should not let me give my dolls baths and carry them around like I did. Her daughter was two weeks younger than me and she was not allowed to really play with her dolls. One year we got the same dolls for Christmas (I always got a new one for Christmas) and her doll sat on a dresser in her room. Mine went everywhere with me. I had a playhouse set up in one of our garages with play appliances and doll beds. It had a dirt floor but I made mud pies out there too. Yes, my dolls and toys looked played with and not new. But I remember them now and how much I enjoyed them. I think if they just sat on a shelf, I would barely remember them. I even remember their names and some of their clothes. My mother made all types of doll clothes for my dolls and I sold a lot of those doll clothes on eBay when I was needing money.

I feel like my mother is all around my home now. She made a lot of items in ceramics back in the fifties and early sixties. I had packed them away for years but when I moved here I decided it was time to use them every day. I do. The same with all the things she crocheted. Her afghans are on my bed and I have a number of them in my cedar chest so I can switch them every now and then. She was famous for her potholders and I have more of those in my cedar chest too. Pictures she drew are on a display I made on the back of my dresser where I can see them from my bed. I think she would like that.
 
katlupe said:
My mother told me that my aunt, her youngest sister told her that she should not let me give my dolls baths and carry them around like I did. Her daughter was two weeks younger than me and she was not allowed to really play with her dolls. One year we got the same dolls for Christmas (I always got a new one for Christmas) and her doll sat on a dresser in her room. Mine went everywhere with me. I had a playhouse set up in one of our garages with play appliances and doll beds. It had a dirt floor but I made mud pies out there too. Yes, my dolls and toys looked played with and not new. But I remember them now and how much I enjoyed them. I think if they just sat on a shelf, I would barely remember them. I even remember their names and some of their clothes. My mother made all types of doll clothes for my dolls and I sold a lot of those doll clothes on eBay when I was needing money.

I feel like my mother is all around my home now. She made a lot of items in ceramics back in the fifties and early sixties. I had packed them away for years but when I moved here I decided it was time to use them every day. I do. The same with all the things she crocheted. Her afghans are on my bed and I have a number of them in my cedar chest so I can switch them every now and then. She was famous for her potholders and I have more of those in my cedar chest too. Pictures she drew are on a display I made on the back of my dresser where I can see them from my bed. I think she would like that.
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I got lots of dolls as a child, I was NOT allowed to play with them either. ☹️
 
Now that I think about it, my cousin did not have her dolls after she grew up. Maybe my aunt gave them away. I still have mine. Not worth anything really to anyone but me since I played with them and they were not name brands. But they were loved.
 
I got a doll at Christmas,,one year.
Anyone remember the "Betsy Wettest " doll?

I was having a good time feeding it , than changing it .

My uncle told me to go out to look for a present that Santa forgot to give me.
He offered to hold my doll.

I returned empty handed.
As he gave me back my doll told me she needed changed .

I was totally freaked out when I saw that there was poop in it!
Gave the doll to my mother to deal with,,,,.
The poop was from a pumpkin pie.

I never wanted another doll after that.

My aunt did give the dolls that were dressed in clothing of other countries.

Does anyone remember them?
They were in a glass jar about 8-10 inches tall?
 
Sliverfox said:
I got a doll at Christmas,,one year.
Anyone remember the "Betsy Wettest " doll?

I was having a good time feeding it , than changing it .

My uncle told me to go out to look for a present that Santa forgot to give me.
He offered to hold my doll.

I returned empty handed.
As he gave me back my doll told me she needed changed .

I was totally freaked out when I saw that there was poop in it!
Gave the doll to my mother to deal with,,,,.
The poop was from a pumpkin pie.

I never wanted another doll after that.

My aunt did give the dolls that were dressed in clothing of other countries.

Does anyone remember them?
They were in a glass jar about 8-10 inches tall?
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I had dolls from other countries from my grandmother, don’t remember any glass jars though. They were on a pedestal.
 
Madame Alexander dolls are about 8" tall. If you check them out on eBay, there are all varieties. I could not find any in a glass jar. Oriental ones in a glass case but was not shaped like a jar.
 
katlupe ,,, its been so long ago that I last saw the dolls.
The glass container was not like Mason canning jar.

Lol,, am sitting here making the shape with my hands,, trying to figure how to describe the shape.
Long gated pear shape,, the middle flares out so the doll's full dress doesn't hit the sides.

Sure wish I had kept one of them,, were gifts from my great aunt.
Mother wouldn't let me remove them from the glass container.
 

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