Reflections of My Life

We had a lot of rain yesterday afternoon and into the evening. I like the rain. Turns everything green. I used to hate a cold rain when I was at my house and my horses would stand together with their heads down in it. Their barn was open so they could come and go like they wanted. But it got really muddy at the entrance so many times they would stay out. A warm rain though, they liked. Like a shower I guess.

When I lived in my house with my husband, I had to pretend I didn't like rain or snow. I really liked both! He would be so angry as soon as he got up in the morning if the weather was not warm and sunny. What a waste of time! I am like my daddy, He would wake up whistling as made breakfast. And he made breakfast for our whole family, every day. Not because my mom was lazy but because he loved her.
 

Starting breakfast early today. I am not going to do Intermitten Fasting for awhile. I find that I am not getting enough protein so need to change from two meals to three. I don't count my coffee as a meal. Fasting is not important to me it was just that I was not eating till around eleven anyway. But now with an aide coming at that time, I like to have me cooking, eating and dishes washed before she gets here.
 
I think that aide is history. Did not show or call today.

I need to find a better medicaid supplement that will pay for Dental Quest. Dental is so expensive it is a wonder anyone can afford it at all. Maybe if they weren't all paying back student loans it would be more affordable for us common people.

I found out that if you are receiving HEAP (in NY) and need an air conditioner or a new one (if your present one is 5 years old or older) you can apply for help. They will pay up to $900. for the unit and the installation. It has to be installed by a contractor on their list (even if it is a window one and you could do it yourself). Mine is still going, but is five years old this year. Not going to replace it unless it is not working well. Working great today........I keep getting cold!
 
I already turned my air conditioner on. It is 63 degrees but feels hotter than that in here. Now June is almost gone, I could go right into September weather happily. I eagerly await summer so I can get outside more and instead end up staying inside more due to being too hot for me outside. Not fair! What I especially like about summer is the green trees and grass and flowers......especially flowers! If it wasn't for my African Violets I would not see a real flower at all.

I think one of the problems with me is that the view outside my windows is parking lots and a brick building. They look hot and represent heat to me. Yet there are a few apartments here that do not use air conditioners. I can't do that. If mine broke down, I would be in a panic to replace it. Once I get around to the front of our building and can see the parks and the big shade trees I am ready to walk outside. It is starting to rain right now. Fine with me. I love to see it rain. Just not a storm with thunder and lightning.

Today the fire inspector is doing inspections of each apartment. Checking out our heat alarm in the kitchen (above the stoves), the sprinklers on the ceiling (I have a bunch of those) and the alert alarm that has a pull cord in case you need help. Dread the alarms going off due to my bunny. Other than that, no big deal.
 
katlupe said:
Now the other thing I wanted to tell you about is my new neighbor. He was not around for a few days, well he showed up yesterday. After the elevator was fixed. With his bicycle, a bag of groceries and his friend with his bicycle. They were hot and sweaty and he was knocking on my door. He could not get into his apartment because it seems he has lost his keys. Nobody working here on Friday afternoon (even with the elevator problem). I called the maintenance man and left a message on his phone but he never returned my call. Today, even though it is Saturday, I will leave a message on the office phone and then call the emergency number (answering service).

New guy buzzed my intercom when he came home yesterday because he had no keys. So I let him but I hate that loud buzz of that thing. He went back out (I put his milk in my refrigerator) and back tracked everywhere he had been looking for his keys. Even reported it to the police. He came back and I let him in the building again. Now he is sleeping downstairs in the community room. I gave him his milk to take with him since there is a refrigerator down there. Two couches and it is cooler since it is in the basement.

After he left I remembered that I forgot to tell him where the bathroom is. I hope he finds it. Or asks someone who might be down there. He is confused and VERY needy. I do not want to be the person he comes to for help. That is why I live alone in the first place. He said he has bad legs and needed to get off them. I hope he got some sleep down there.
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I had a chance to catch up on your latest posts, and enjoy reading them! You did a good thing by helping him. I hope he is ok.
 
katlupe said:
I was on my computer today but not on any social media. I worked on the story I am writing. Up to 400 pages on the document. Not sure how many pages that would be if it was in a book form. I really got into the story and did not want to stop. Lots of things happening in it. Because it is historical I have to keep checking facts. Plus it takes place in the area I live in and one of the main characters has a business so have to keep checking facts about that during the years it takes place.

I have a separate document where I keep track of people's names and dates and who they are. Why am I writing this? I have no idea. I just enjoy doing it. I have been the type of person who always sees a better ending to a movie or a book. Now when I get off my computer I will sit in my recliner and watch videos but that story will be running through my mind. So I keep paper nearby so I can write notes as I think of them.

Today the contractors put down the new carpeting in the apartment next door. It probably looks good. It is a nice bright one bedroom, though I don't like the kitchen. A galley kitchen that you can walk through to the living room. Too small for me since I like to cook. If my maintenance man unlocks it tomorrow I will sneak in to look at it.

The other apartment on the other side of me had the ceiling fall down! The office assistant brought the woman in who was going to be renting it and when they walked in the ceiling had fallen down! Can you imagine? All because of a leaky water heater in the apartment above! Sure glad it didn't happen in mine.
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I'm very proud of you for writing your story, @katlupe ! It looks like you are enjoying it! Meanwhile, the other apartment with its ceiling falling down is quite a shocker! It's good that it happened before the renter moved in, so they could repair it.
 
palides2021 said:
I'm very proud of you for writing your story, @katlupe ! It looks like you are enjoying it! Meanwhile, the other apartment with its ceiling falling down is quite a shocker! It's good that it happened before the renter moved in, so they could repair it.
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I watched 3 of your videos on writing. Especially the part about developing characters was interesting to me. I am not a professional writer but have always had people say they enjoy what I write. Of course, fiction is completely different.
 
katlupe said:
I watched 3 of your videos on writing. Especially the part about developing characters was interesting to me. I am not a professional writer but have always had people say they enjoy what I write. Of course, fiction is completely different.
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Gee, thanks! I'm planning to add more videos about writing in the future. I also have enjoyed reading your writing.
 
Just got caught up with your diary. Your neighbour seems to have serious memory problems. That darn elevator has even worse problems.

It didn’t make sense, to me anyway, why your aides weren’t lasting because, IMO, you’re a lovely person. Pretty sure it‘s because they’re not getting enough hours at your place. They thought they’d be getting 15 and only have 4. It’s not enough and they probably are restricted from any other jobs because those 15 are dedicated on their work week. What a stupid system that Care Plan has.

Thanks for those photos of aids for stairs and @Meanderer for that link. I’m putting them in my research file.
 
Jules said:
Just got caught up with your diary. Your neighbour seems to have serious memory problems. That darn elevator has even worse problems.

It didn’t make sense, to me anyway, why your aides weren’t lasting because, IMO, you’re a lovely person. Pretty sure it‘s because they’re not getting enough hours at your place. They thought they’d be getting 15 and only have 4. It’s not enough and they probably are restricted from any other jobs because those 15 are dedicated on their work week. What a stupid system that Care Plan has.

Thanks for those photos of aids for stairs and @Meanderer for that link. I’m putting them in my research file.
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That's what I think. They made 15 hours available for me but I don't need that many. One hour a week would be fine with me. Another thing is that they are not house cleaners. They want to do personal care. Like helping someone shower, brush their teeth, get dressed, do their physical therapy exercises, make them a sandwich or cook a couple of eggs and wash their dishes. I understand. I was a home health aide and a personal care aide in my past life. But I don't need that.
 
In my morning devotion today, it said that as we age we must learn to accept the changes in our lives and not get depressed or stressed over it. It is easy to say or read, but not that easy to do. I see it in the people I have met since moving here. Five years ago, things were different, the people were different. Over that time, some developed some really bad health conditions. How do you just accept them and move on?

I saw it in my own mother and she did everything she could in the beginning to fight it. To fix it. To find a doctor who could change it. There was no fixing it. Eventually she did accept it (in her public self). I think I have a bit of her spirit in me. My motto is to never give up. I do not put my life in the hands of anyone else. Even at a doctor's office, I am asking questions and telling him/her what I think or want. Of course, I do not have what she had.....Cushing's Syndrome.

If the worst thing I get is Osteoarthritis and Lymphedema, I can handle it. I have started doing an arm work-out with dumbbells and the Suzanne Somers' thigh master product (it can be used on your arms as well). I loved doing weight work-outs in my previous life so it seemed to make sense to do what I know. I eat strictly keto and am no longer tempted by ice cream or french fries. What I had to do was to immerse myself into the keto community.

The only bad thing, not sure if it is even bad, but I find Sonny and myself drifting apart. He is only into his dogs and racing. He officiates at various tracks all summer. Sometimes more than just on the week-end. That is fine with me because I do not like to go to outdoor activities in the summer time due to the heat. I cannot take it. Sonny's health is not real good and he is on more than a dozen prescriptions. He does not go out of his way to work on his health at all. Just says he is living on borrowed time.

We talk several times a day on the phone and he takes me to appointments or to do my errands (grocery shopping a few times a month). Since I eat keto and do not like to eat restaurant food we do not go out to eat much anymore. Plus the cost of gas and food has limited that a bit. It is a 50 mile trip to my home and back to his. He helped me to move here from my house and I am so thankful for that. Now he has been having vehicle issues and this little truck he bought to use while his car gets fixed is very uncomfortable for me. I hate riding in it. So I am working on finding my own transportation to get places.

I have accepted the change in our relationship and am not depressed about it at all. In fact, I kind of like it. Maybe I am strange, but I would always rather be home than go anywhere. Even if I am out at something, I am always saying to myself, "In 6 hours I will be home." Or "This will be over with at this time tomorrow." It helps.
 
Sometimes we have to put our health issues in the back seat and tell them to behave. A back seat driver can do less harm than a front seat driver. We need to take the wheel and concentrate on the joys in our life....even for a short while, each day. Forget the rear view mirror, it is clear. Our life is ahead of us. Pull over at the next rest stop and enjoy the wonderful lunch we have packed. Turn up that song playing on the radio!

iu
 
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I am reading the book, Atomic Habits by James Cleary for the 2nd time. On my Kindle, I have several books about habits and making changes in your life. This one is by far, the best of all. I am also following a 2nd YouTuber of a book study of this book. This is what caused me to start walking my hall outside my apartment in January. Still doing it. Started with two laps and now up to 9. I think today I will aim for 10. Considering it is very hot and stuffy out there but at least when I am done I have a cold apartment to come into.

So James Cleary says to achieve a goal, any goal, you need to have a system of little steps or habits that lead to that goal. This reminds me also of Dave Ramsey's "baby steps" to becoming debt free. It works for anything. The thing about goals is that once you reach them you need another goal in the future or many people end up back where they were in the beginning. I cannot afford that since I don't have that much time left. If I was younger I could see it happening.

The habit I had been trying to incorporate into my life was getting outside daily but now due to the air and smoke alerts, I need a different habit to work on. I have decided it will be exercise again. This is going to be my arm work-out with dumbbells. I can do them easily right here. Aiming for Monday - Wednesday & Thursday. Early after coffee so it won't interfere with walking or anything else that comes up.
 
Had a productive two days. Cleaning my apartment. I took those rugs off the floor this morning. There is carpeting under it but in the winter the floor is so cold so I covered it with four rugs. I am just tired of them so took them off and will put them in the storage locker. Moved the file cabinet (it wasn't easy but I did it) a few inches so I could make more room at the table where my computer is. Can't go outside for long due to the smoke so may as well clean my apartment.

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In this picture, in the distance beyond that sick looking pine tree among the buildings, normally you can see two tiers of hills and green trees. This is not overcast or fog, it is a smokey haze. A few hours after I took this picture it wasn't so thick so you could see the trees but it never left completely. It doesn't smell good either. Not like a wood fire or a wood stove.
 
katlupe said:
Had a productive two days. Cleaning my apartment. I took those rugs off the floor this morning. There is carpeting under it but in the winter the floor is so cold so I covered it with four rugs. I am just tired of them so took them off and will put them in the storage locker. Moved the file cabinet (it wasn't easy but I did it) a few inches so I could make more room at the table where my computer is. Can't go outside for long due to the smoke so may as well clean my apartment.

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In this picture, in the distance beyond that sick looking pine tree among the buildings, normally you can see two tiers of hills and green trees. This is not overcast or fog, it is a smokey haze. A few hours after I took this picture it wasn't so thick so you could see the trees but it never left completely. It doesn't smell good either. Not like a wood fire or a wood stove.
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We have the smoke down here in CT again, too. It looks so weird.
 
RadishRose said:
We have the smoke down here in CT again, too. It looks so weird.
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Our local news and health department keeps warning us to stay inside. But I see people outside everywhere. It is summer! They wait all winter for this. I think they don't take it seriously because it doesn't bother them when they are outside. Even Sonny with bad lungs is outside at a race a couple of times a week at least.

Today I want to go to the Grand Union on Jazzy to get more spring mix for Rabbit and figure I will go fast. I don't even have bad lungs, in fact, I think mine are pretty good considering I lived with wood stove smoke, kerosene lamps & discharge from batteries charging daily for close to 20 years. So I try to be careful but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
 
Yesterday was my errand day. Sonny picks me up and we go to the post office to get my son's rent money order and mine too. I buy mine a month in advance so I can pay my rent on the 1st instead of on the 3rd. It doesn't really matter now, they give you 10 days to pay it here. But we had a manager in the past who wanted it on the 1st even though most people get their social security checks on the 3rd. You know how people can be. Sonny goes into the post office for me. Then I fill out my son's money order and mail it right then.

Then to my son's credit union to get him some cash. I get some cash to so I have it on hand during the month for him. He always needs something! I can't get to the credit union and it costs so much to use the atm. Unless I buy something with his card and take cash back. Today I will pay his bills. Electric and internet/phone (one bill for both). After that we go to the smoke shop to buy him 2 bags of tobacco (I HATE having to do that, but it is the cheapest way). I will keep them in my apartment till he needs one.

Then I get cash from my credit union for my hair appointment and laundry money for the month. Then the stress point of the whole day.........shopping at Walmart! It was busy, busy yesterday. No large eggs, at least not the ones I buy. I ended up getting 4 dozen of jumbos for $1.54 each. Not a bad price. Sonny pushes the cart and I use my walker. He left me to go to the bathroom and I pulled the grocery cart along behind me. It got the people clogging the aisles out of my way. I try to be nice but they walk around like they are in space.

I try to get everything I need for the month in that one trip. It won't be. At least the main things I need. Plus I had ordered stuff on Amazon and Walmart online. Then for the hot ride in that tiny truck back home. I hate that he puts my walker in the truck bed, along with my groceries and a dark rain cloud was hovering over us the whole way. I know I annoy him.......he thinks I worry about silly things. But that is why I have nice things and he does not.
 
My friend's husband came home from the hospital today. I have not seen her since early this morning. She was a wreck without him and could not walk with me. Now she will be okay that he is home.

My new neighbor, the guy across the hall told me he had a gift for me????? He went back into his apartment and came out with a brand new shopping bag that has a zipper and two places to put things. It has a big picture of a cat and a dog and is from the humane society. He said he knew I liked pets and thought I would like it. I do.
 
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