Reflections of My Life

I've been watching French Village - it reminds me of Grandma and what she must have seen before leaving as a teenager. She was in Poland, not France but they all suffered. We are so fortunate to live here and don't understand how they struggled.
In my town, someone posted on a neighborhood app a video showing one of his neighbors cutting the cord to their Christmas lights and slashing tires. Some people just don't appreciate what we do have.
 

Happy Heart said:
I've been watching French Village - it reminds me of Grandma and what she must have seen before leaving as a teenager. She was in Poland, not France but they all suffered. We are so fortunate to live here and don't understand how they struggled.
In my town, someone posted on a neighborhood app a video showing one of his neighbors cutting the cord to their Christmas lights and slashing tires. Some people just don't appreciate what we do have.
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My grandparents came from Poland too. Twice they left Poland to come here. The first time I don't know why they left and went back to Poland. I never knew my grandmother as she had died before I was born. So I could never ask her. I am glad they came back though.
 
This morning so far is cold and windy. I can hear the wind blowing against the windows. It sounded eerie. I heard it blow something loud over and I don't know if that is the lids on the dumpster, the garden shed, the stuff on the picnic table or the awning over the ramp door. The crows are out though so not too cold for them.

I normally only have 2 cups of coffee but since I cannot get warm I am on the 3rd. I turned the heat up and added layers and slippers. Still not warm enough yet. I need to find an insulated coffee cup that will keep my coffee HOT. And will fit on my one cup coffee maker.

I have no idea what I will do with this day. Need to thaw out first. :)
 
Do you have those old single pane, aluminum frame windows? If so, will management allow you to put something over them to keep out the drafts? When we bought our house we had them and ice would form on the inside frames so we needed to change them out.

Did your Mom teach you to make pierogis? We get ours from Costco, made in Canada, which are pretty good with lots of garlic and onions over the top. Grandma didn't speak about what she went through as a young girl but she ended up with her own bungalow, pension, and a little social security so she knew how to survive and thrive in spite of it all. They just don't make them like they used to!
 
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I gave up on my family tree on Ancestry. At one time I was addicted to it and would spend hours there. Too many times I paid for it with a credit card. When I decided to get serious to pay off all my debt I stopped going there. It was and is too expensive for someone with a low income.

They send me messages all the time telling me here is hint on one of my families. When I go there I cannot view the hint unless I subscribe. Trying to tempt me.............but it is not working (I am happy to say). I have gone way, way back in time and learned a lot about my family that I never found until I went to Ancestry. But it is a very expensive (at least to me) hobby.

Sonny's daughter got an app for their family's phones. I don't know the name of it. It tracks them everywhere they go. She wanted it especially for her teenage granddaughters but included others too. Sonny is on it and he likes being tracked (I can't say I would). I can see it is good for him due to his heart problems. It shows a map like Google satellite and when he walks in different rooms in his house it even shows where he is in his house. So if he fell she would see how long he was in one spot. Or how long it takes him to get home. After watching 48 hours I would have 2nd thoughts about anyone tracking me.
 
Snowed during the night and as far as I know it is still snowing. The plow was here already here about an hour ago. I will be keeping the windows blocked all day even if the sun comes out, which I doubt will happen today. I guess I will spend part of the day paying bills.

Once again my son's SSD check was deposited in his account early. On the 28th! He normally got it on the 3rd but now it is being deposited early. I am not telling him this time. He can wait for food and money till tomorrow. Somehow he manages to get my cash and my food because he uses his up. I have a plan this month so that does not happen again. I know, I know, just say no to him. But being a mother of a disabled person means that is very hard to do. I cannot eat knowing he is out of food even if he did go through it faster than he should have.

I am not keeping any cash in my apartment from now on. I was trying to accumulate an emergency fund and got it up to almost $500. but I worried about it every time I left. And then I had to keep giving Jeff some. He would ask to borrow it and for me to pay myself back when his check came the next month. By doing that, his check was not enough after I paid his bills and myself back. So then he would have to borrow again from me. This last month I did not do that. He borrowed my last $40. so that is all he owes me. I am hoping it will work out better this month.
 
I am normally a pretty positive person. When I feel rotten and someone asks how I am, I always answer fine. Never go into details of how I really feel or my health issues. Since Rabbit died though I have not been able to bounce back.

I usually color in adult coloring books all the time. I have done it for quite a few years now. I would get excited about a new set of gel pens or book. Now I can barely finish a picture. I start coloring and then cannot finish it. Several of my books now have unfinished pictures in them. I don't look forward to doing it anymore.

Same with cooking my meals. Not taking any extra effort on making something good. My coffee is something I have always looked forward to but now I barely like it. I drink it because it wakes me up. Same with my one can of Zevia creamy root beer soda I usually have after supper. I am not even sure I am going to order it anymore. I used to love both of them.

I guess not buying the supplies for coloring and the coffee and Zevia would save me quite a bit of money. Not sure what I could drink when I get up because I need a hot drink (and not tea, I have tried that and it does not work for me). Maybe it is a transition time for myself. Well now I am off to make some Keto Chow to put in the freezer. I hope I still like that!
 
katlupe said:
I am normally a pretty positive person. When I feel rotten and someone asks how I am, I always answer fine. Never go into details of how I really feel or my health issues. Since Rabbit died though I have not been able to bounce back.

I usually color in adult coloring books all the time. I have done it for quite a few years now. I would get excited about a new set of gel pens or book. Now I can barely finish a picture. I start coloring and then cannot finish it. Several of my books now have unfinished pictures in them. I don't look forward to doing it anymore.

Same with cooking my meals. Not taking any extra effort on making something good. My coffee is something I have always looked forward to but now I barely like it. I drink it because it wakes me up. Same with my one can of Zevia creamy root beer soda I usually have after supper. I am not even sure I am going to order it anymore. I used to love both of them.

I guess not buying the supplies for coloring and the coffee and Zevia would save me quite a bit of money. Not sure what I could drink when I get up because I need a hot drink (and not tea, I have tried that and it does not work for me). Maybe it is a transition time for myself. Well now I am off to make some Keto Chow to put in the freezer. I hope I still like that!
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Unfortunately Kat, it sounds like you've sunk into depression... I feel for you, because you'll need help to get yourself out of it.... I can't tell you what form that will take only you can know or perhaps people here can suggest a way.. but I wish you better... 🤗🤗
 
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katlupe said:
I am normally a pretty positive person. When I feel rotten and someone asks how I am, I always answer fine. Never go into details of how I really feel or my health issues. Since Rabbit died though I have not been able to bounce back.

I usually color in adult coloring books all the time. I have done it for quite a few years now. I would get excited about a new set of gel pens or book. Now I can barely finish a picture. I start coloring and then cannot finish it. Several of my books now have unfinished pictures in them. I don't look forward to doing it anymore.

Same with cooking my meals. Not taking any extra effort on making something good. My coffee is something I have always looked forward to but now I barely like it. I drink it because it wakes me up. Same with my one can of Zevia creamy root beer soda I usually have after supper. I am not even sure I am going to order it anymore. I used to love both of them.

I guess not buying the supplies for coloring and the coffee and Zevia would save me quite a bit of money. Not sure what I could drink when I get up because I need a hot drink (and not tea, I have tried that and it does not work for me). Maybe it is a transition time for myself. Well now I am off to make some Keto Chow to put in the freezer. I hope I still like that!
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kat,

How about swapping out the morning coffee for a cup of beef broth or something similar. 🤔
 
I grew up in Ohio and know how those clouds can deprive us of enough sunlight. Do you take enough vitamin D?
Over the years we have lost several cats and rabbits which always rips my heart out so you are not alone in your sadness. Rabbit was fortunate enough to have a great caretaker and I'm sure he knew it. Be good to yourself, you deserve it!
 
As one who is in and out of depression at various times, sometimes you have to just allow yourself to rest and just be and go through it before you can feel better. You had Rabbit a long time. Please be kind with yourself and give yourself time to heal.

When I lost my mother I shut down for 2 years. I didn't do anything except go to work, eat, sleep and play video games.
 
hollydolly said:
Unfortunately Kat, it sounds like you've sunk into depression... I feel for you, because you'll need help to get yourself out of it.... I can't tell you what form that will take only you can know or perhaps people here can suggest a way.. but I wish you better... 🤗🤗
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Thank you, Holly. I think you are right, it feels like a depression but not one that will stick around. I will get over it.
 
Tomorrow Sonny is picking me up early so we can take care of my errands early. He has a doctor's appointment in the afternoon so will have to head to Binghamton after we get done.

I feel a little better tonight. Which is good because I have been keeping my door unlocked just in case I needed help. Now I feel I can lock it again and will be okay.
 
My friend called me last night and told me our SS checks are going to be deposited on different days than what they presently are. I know a lot of people get them according to their birth dates. My husband did and so did I before I moved here. The third Wednesday of the month. After I moved here and signed up for SSI because my SS was too low my checks were deposited on the first instead. My son's always came on the 3rd. Lately though his check is deposited a few days early. All I found about that is that it is up to your bank or credit union when they make it available.

I searched and searched last night and could not find that bit of news anywhere. The only new news was that people still getting paper checks will be getting direct deposits. I knew that. When I asked my friend where she got this information and it was from that guy I told you about. That is the problem when people get information from unreliable sources. I don't know where he got that from and I don't know if it is true or not. I hope not. I hate changes. Especially when involving my son's money.

SS and Medicare send me emails all the time. So I am sure they would have informed me about a change like that. Or it would be on their website. Nope. I guess time will tell.
 
katlupe said:
My friend called me last night and told me our SS checks are going to be deposited on different days than what they presently are. I know a lot of people get them according to their birth dates. My husband did and so did I before I moved here. The third Wednesday of the month. After I moved here and signed up for SSI because my SS was too low my checks were deposited on the first instead. My son's always came on the 3rd. Lately though his check is deposited a few days early. All I found about that is that it is up to your bank or credit union when they make it available.

I searched and searched last night and could not find that bit of news anywhere. The only new news was that people still getting paper checks will be getting direct deposits. I knew that. When I asked my friend where she got this information and it was from that guy I told you about. That is the problem when people get information from unreliable sources. I don't know where he got that from and I don't know if it is true or not. I hope not. I hate changes. Especially when involving my son's money.

SS and Medicare send me emails all the time. So I am sure they would have informed me about a change like that. Or it would be on their website. Nope. I guess time will tell.
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Mine is second Wednesday of the month but for some reason it has been deposited a day or two early the last couple of months, not sure why.
 
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