Reflective thoughts and poems

A Short Poem

Unrequited Love

I loved the way you laughed
I loved the way you cried
And I even loved the way
You said goodbye
 

Today, I had the contractor who built my sunroom come and look at a couple of projects I want to do later in the year. One of them is to replace the old deck with composite wood and close up the area under the deck so no critters get in there or in my sunroom.

The second project is to add a shower on the first floor. This is part of the "aging in place" plan, although in the back of my mind, I see my mom visiting and being able to use the facility. What was interesting is that originally, I wanted the shower in the half-bath on the first floor, which is around the corner, but found out that the laundry room is more spacious and closer to the kitchen, could accommodate a bathroom, shower, and even accommodate an upright washer/dryer combo. The laundry room has become a storage space for all kinds of detergents, paper products, tools, etc. So I will need to clear it out at some point.

I also learned I could have as many bathrooms in my house as I want to. I found that interesting, although it's only me living in it. I always thought there was a limit because of the septic tank.

I have no clue what the cost will be, but plan to work full-time in the fall and save money for it. There is no rush. I can do each project when I'm ready.
 

palides2021 said:
Today, I had the contractor who built my sunroom come and look at a couple of projects I want to do later in the year. One of them is to replace the old deck with composite wood and close up the area under the deck so no critters get in there or in my sunroom.

The second project is to add a shower on the first floor. This is part of the "aging in place" plan, although in the back of my mind, I see my mom visiting and being able to use the facility. What was interesting is that originally, I wanted the shower in the half-bath on the first floor, which is around the corner, but found out that the laundry room is more spacious and closer to the kitchen, could accommodate a bathroom, shower, and even accommodate an upright washer/dryer combo. The laundry room has become a storage space for all kinds of detergents, paper products, tools, etc. So I will need to clear it out at some point.

I also learned I could have as many bathrooms in my house as I want to. I found that interesting, although it's only me living in it. I always thought there was a limit because of the septic tank.

I have no clue what the cost will be, but plan to work full-time in the fall and save money for it. There is no rush. I can do each project when I'm ready.
Click to expand...
Good idea about adding the shower to the first floor. Do you have a bedroom on the first floor also? I think a bedroom and bathroom should be built in every two story house. Eventually that is why some people have to move when they get older or get a disability.
 
katlupe said:
Good idea about adding the shower to the first floor. Do you have a bedroom on the first floor also? I think a bedroom and bathroom should be built in every two story house. Eventually that is why some people have to move when they get older or get a disability.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the encouragement, @katlupe! I don't have a bedroom because they are all upstairs. But I could easily convert the den into one. It is right next to the laundry room. It has a futon that can turn into a bed. In the future, if I live downstairs permanently, I would probably add a bed at some point! I had asked the contractor if I could use the sunroom as a bedroom (like an in-law suite for my mother), and he said no, because the city code only allowed so many bedrooms per septic tank. I already have four upstairs (one of them is an office and storage space), but I think it is still early.
 
Well, I'm going to hold off on doing house projects at the moment after I saw the exorbitant estimates. My son thinks I should get some more estimates, and I agree.

After my return from Florida a few days ago, have been feeling a little weak and I think I got the stomach flu on my trip. I seem to catch germs whenever I travel. Today, I felt a little better. It was much cooler outside, so I went outside in the back courtyard and swept. I will make it a point to go outside every day, as much as I can, and try and get some sun. I read somewhere that sunlight is good for our health. Also, being outside is good.

As I swept, I noticed things that I hadn't noticed before. Maybe because of the incident with the dead fox, I had avoided going outside these past couple of months as a result.

I also weeded behind the fig tree, which has grown and spread quickly since I had it pruned back in April. It's at least six feet tall. I noticed that there was a water bottle, half-filled, partly buried behind it. That is the area where the fox had entered the crawlspace of the deck. I removed the bottle and wondered who had put it there. I want to add a weed barrier there and cover with mulch at some point. I have ordered the weed barrier and expect it any day.

I then swept the back patio, where several weeds had popped up. So I pulled them and swept them away. Then I noticed at the corner of the patio, that a few blocks were missing. How did that happen? So I replaced the missing blocks, but that bothered me. I think I will add cameras to the back for extra security.
 
Today, I was going around the house making sure the ceiling fans were on and moving in the right direction for the summer. It felt warmer upstairs than downstairs. In the process, I found a tote bag filled to the brim with all kinds of sheet music from my past, ranging from orchestral music (Bartok; Hungarian Rhapsody), to Greek songs, to viola music (Telemann), piano music (Chopin), and violin music (Bach, Vivaldi, Dvorak). It also had student pieces to learn the scales for violin or piano. The bag was heavy as I carried it downstairs.

As I ruffled through the music, each piece I picked up gave me a flashback of where I played it before. Either at my other home, or for an audition, or music for my son's lessons, or even as a duet or quartet. I felt as if that extensive part of my life has been put on hold. This was not my choice. My eyesight has been going bad, and I cannot drive at night. That has forced me to stop playing in orchestras due to the rehearsals and most concerts being at night.

But this isn't the only music I have. There is at least a bookshelf of music as well as the music inside the piano bench. I even have a bag of beautiful choral music that was given to me years ago when I went to a master class for choral music at a college.

A few weeks ago, I was asked by a former violin teacher, who now conducts an orchestra in a nearby town, to play in that orchestra; someone locally will be giving me rides. This has motivated me to start playing more classical music. Today, after I opened the window and played a few songs, I was rewarded by the charming birdsongs that accompanied me. There is hope yet for me to keep playing.
 
Unexpected

When the door bell rings
and I'm not expecting anyone,
my heart jumps to my throat.
Who could that be?
It is rare when someone visits
these days.
A quick look out the door,
and the mail lady waves to me from her
van. Sometimes she brings the mail
to my door,
if it's a heavy load. I pick up the
bundle.
Oh, yes, I had ordered two copies of
the literary journal that includes my two poems.
They were sad poems, particularly
influenced after my sister died. One
poem was dedicated to her.

It is hard to be happy when death steals that joy.

P.A. Aug. 4, 2025
 
Journaling

Write your thoughts down.
Capture them on paper, or
even online, like here.

Life is fleeting,
and so are we.
One day here,
the next day, gone.

Emily Dickinson wrote
nearly 1800 poems,
and never published them
in her lifetime,
but her words live on.

P.A. Aug. 5, 2025
 
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Beauty in the Chaos
Strikingly beautiful flowers, you name your favorite please—
Perhaps the rose with velvet grace, or cherry blossom trees?
Maybe the iris, cloaked in dusk, or wild orchids’ flare,
Each one a whisper in the wind, a secret breathed through air.

Yet what if beauty’s not confined to gardens neat and still,
But found where broken branches lean, and vines refuse to chill?
Where weeds push through the concrete cracks with bold, unruly cheer,
And sunflowers twist skyward through the ruins year by year.

A dandelion’s golden head in alleyways ignored,
A bloom beneath a rusted gate, by wind and storm adored.
In tangled roots and tempest skies, in thunder's roaring hymn—
There lives a fierce, defiant grace not dulled by edges grim.

So name your favorite flower—yes, the perfect, polished kind—
But don’t forget the jagged blooms that chaos leaves behind.
For sometimes what is wild and scarred, what grows through pain and strife,
Can show us deeper kinds of truth—can bloom with truer life
 
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