Reflective thoughts and poems

Today, I had the contractor who built my sunroom come and look at a couple of projects I want to do later in the year. One of them is to replace the old deck with composite wood and close up the area under the deck so no critters get in there or in my sunroom.

The second project is to add a shower on the first floor. This is part of the "aging in place" plan, although in the back of my mind, I see my mom visiting and being able to use the facility. What was interesting is that originally, I wanted the shower in the half-bath on the first floor, which is around the corner, but found out that the laundry room is more spacious and closer to the kitchen, could accommodate a bathroom, shower, and even accommodate an upright washer/dryer combo. The laundry room has become a storage space for all kinds of detergents, paper products, tools, etc. So I will need to clear it out at some point.

I also learned I could have as many bathrooms in my house as I want to. I found that interesting, although it's only me living in it. I always thought there was a limit because of the septic tank.

I have no clue what the cost will be, but plan to work full-time in the fall and save money for it. There is no rush. I can do each project when I'm ready.
 

Straws

Grasping at straws
that broke the camel's back,
but have done nothing to ensure
One is safe from oneself.
Always others to blame, yet
we are our worst enemy.
Look inward first.
Search your soul,
become friends with it,
because it will be with you forever.

P.A. July 11, 2025
 
Today, I had the contractor who built my sunroom come and look at a couple of projects I want to do later in the year. One of them is to replace the old deck with composite wood and close up the area under the deck so no critters get in there or in my sunroom.

The second project is to add a shower on the first floor. This is part of the "aging in place" plan, although in the back of my mind, I see my mom visiting and being able to use the facility. What was interesting is that originally, I wanted the shower in the half-bath on the first floor, which is around the corner, but found out that the laundry room is more spacious and closer to the kitchen, could accommodate a bathroom, shower, and even accommodate an upright washer/dryer combo. The laundry room has become a storage space for all kinds of detergents, paper products, tools, etc. So I will need to clear it out at some point.

I also learned I could have as many bathrooms in my house as I want to. I found that interesting, although it's only me living in it. I always thought there was a limit because of the septic tank.

I have no clue what the cost will be, but plan to work full-time in the fall and save money for it. There is no rush. I can do each project when I'm ready.
Good idea about adding the shower to the first floor. Do you have a bedroom on the first floor also? I think a bedroom and bathroom should be built in every two story house. Eventually that is why some people have to move when they get older or get a disability.
 
Good idea about adding the shower to the first floor. Do you have a bedroom on the first floor also? I think a bedroom and bathroom should be built in every two story house. Eventually that is why some people have to move when they get older or get a disability.
Thanks for the encouragement, @katlupe! I don't have a bedroom because they are all upstairs. But I could easily convert the den into one. It is right next to the laundry room. It has a futon that can turn into a bed. In the future, if I live downstairs permanently, I would probably add a bed at some point! I had asked the contractor if I could use the sunroom as a bedroom (like an in-law suite for my mother), and he said no, because the city code only allowed so many bedrooms per septic tank. I already have four upstairs (one of them is an office and storage space), but I think it is still early.
 
Well, I'm going to hold off on doing house projects at the moment after I saw the exorbitant estimates. My son thinks I should get some more estimates, and I agree.

After my return from Florida a few days ago, have been feeling a little weak and I think I got the stomach flu on my trip. I seem to catch germs whenever I travel. Today, I felt a little better. It was much cooler outside, so I went outside in the back courtyard and swept. I will make it a point to go outside every day, as much as I can, and try and get some sun. I read somewhere that sunlight is good for our health. Also, being outside is good.

As I swept, I noticed things that I hadn't noticed before. Maybe because of the incident with the dead fox, I had avoided going outside these past couple of months as a result.

I also weeded behind the fig tree, which has grown and spread quickly since I had it pruned back in April. It's at least six feet tall. I noticed that there was a water bottle, half-filled, partly buried behind it. That is the area where the fox had entered the crawlspace of the deck. I removed the bottle and wondered who had put it there. I want to add a weed barrier there and cover with mulch at some point. I have ordered the weed barrier and expect it any day.

I then swept the back patio, where several weeds had popped up. So I pulled them and swept them away. Then I noticed at the corner of the patio, that a few blocks were missing. How did that happen? So I replaced the missing blocks, but that bothered me. I think I will add cameras to the back for extra security.
 
Today, I was going around the house making sure the ceiling fans were on and moving in the right direction for the summer. It felt warmer upstairs than downstairs. In the process, I found a tote bag filled to the brim with all kinds of sheet music from my past, ranging from orchestral music (Bartok; Hungarian Rhapsody), to Greek songs, to viola music (Telemann), piano music (Chopin), and violin music (Bach, Vivaldi, Dvorak). It also had student pieces to learn the scales for violin or piano. The bag was heavy as I carried it downstairs.

As I ruffled through the music, each piece I picked up gave me a flashback of where I played it before. Either at my other home, or for an audition, or music for my son's lessons, or even as a duet or quartet. I felt as if that extensive part of my life has been put on hold. This was not my choice. My eyesight has been going bad, and I cannot drive at night. That has forced me to stop playing in orchestras due to the rehearsals and most concerts being at night.

But this isn't the only music I have. There is at least a bookshelf of music as well as the music inside the piano bench. I even have a bag of beautiful choral music that was given to me years ago when I went to a master class for choral music at a college.

A few weeks ago, I was asked by a former violin teacher, who now conducts an orchestra in a nearby town, to play in that orchestra; someone locally will be giving me rides. This has motivated me to start playing more classical music. Today, after I opened the window and played a few songs, I was rewarded by the charming birdsongs that accompanied me. There is hope yet for me to keep playing.
 
Unexpected

When the door bell rings
and I'm not expecting anyone,
my heart jumps to my throat.
Who could that be?
It is rare when someone visits
these days.
A quick look out the door,
and the mail lady waves to me from her
van. Sometimes she brings the mail
to my door,
if it's a heavy load. I pick up the
bundle.
Oh, yes, I had ordered two copies of
the literary journal that includes my two poems.
They were sad poems, particularly
influenced after my sister died. One
poem was dedicated to her.

It is hard to be happy when death steals that joy.

P.A. Aug. 4, 2025
 
Journaling

Write your thoughts down.
Capture them on paper, or
even online, like here.

Life is fleeting,
and so are we.
One day here,
the next day, gone.

Emily Dickinson wrote
nearly 1800 poems,
and never published them
in her lifetime,
but her words live on.

P.A. Aug. 5, 2025
 
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Beauty in the Chaos
Strikingly beautiful flowers, you name your favorite please—
Perhaps the rose with velvet grace, or cherry blossom trees?
Maybe the iris, cloaked in dusk, or wild orchids’ flare,
Each one a whisper in the wind, a secret breathed through air.

Yet what if beauty’s not confined to gardens neat and still,
But found where broken branches lean, and vines refuse to chill?
Where weeds push through the concrete cracks with bold, unruly cheer,
And sunflowers twist skyward through the ruins year by year.

A dandelion’s golden head in alleyways ignored,
A bloom beneath a rusted gate, by wind and storm adored.
In tangled roots and tempest skies, in thunder's roaring hymn—
There lives a fierce, defiant grace not dulled by edges grim.

So name your favorite flower—yes, the perfect, polished kind—
But don’t forget the jagged blooms that chaos leaves behind.
For sometimes what is wild and scarred, what grows through pain and strife,
Can show us deeper kinds of truth—can bloom with truer life
 
I recently, got together with some friends at the senior community center and played some songs.
This one is called "Jerusalem Ridge" a well-known song by Bill Monroe. I play the violin, and my friends play guitar and mandolin. It's a slower version, only because it sounds better to me and it captures the low notes well. We did a few more songs at the Sr. center, but I thought I'd share this one first:

 
I haven't been on here as often as I'd like because classes have started and I'm busy grading papers, as well as doing several projects. But I enjoy coming on here and reading posts and stories, and seeing photos. It's nice and relaxing.

A number of developments occurred in the past few weeks as well. I attempted to join a community college orchestra, but needed a ride because the weekly rehearsals were in the evenings and I cannot drive in the evenings.

The lady that told me about the community college orchestra is a member there, and she agreed to take me to the rehearsals and back.

She also told me about a small group that met at some lady's house to rehearse the orchestra's music. It was during the day, so I could drive to one of those rehearsals.

I was the first one at the lady's house. The other two people trickled in. So we had a cello, and three violins. The viola player didn't show up. It quickly became apparent that they played at a different level than I did. They did not count well or hit the right notes. They were all senior citizens. We had to keep playing the same part over and over again. I have played in groups in the past, and it is good when everyone is at the same level.

Well, being a part of the community college orchestra lasted three weeks before the director found out how well I played. I'm not making this up. She suggested I play with a better orchestra, and that was out of the question. I had already reached out to the "better orchestra" but because I did not have a ride in the evenings for their rehearsals (I even asked them, but no one came forth to give me a ride), I could not join them. Why do they have rehearsals in the evenings? Anyway, I removed myself from the community college orchestra. There's another orchestra that I'm interested in, but it's located across the state line, and they will be rehearsing next month. I think I have a ride for that.
 
Today, I had the contractor who built my sunroom come and look at a couple of projects I want to do later in the year. One of them is to replace the old deck with composite wood and close up the area under the deck so no critters get in there or in my sunroom.

The second project is to add a shower on the first floor. This is part of the "aging in place" plan, although in the back of my mind, I see my mom visiting and being able to use the facility. What was interesting is that originally, I wanted the shower in the half-bath on the first floor, which is around the corner, but found out that the laundry room is more spacious and closer to the kitchen, could accommodate a bathroom, shower, and even accommodate an upright washer/dryer combo. The laundry room has become a storage space for all kinds of detergents, paper products, tools, etc. So I will need to clear it out at some point.

I also learned I could have as many bathrooms in my house as I want to. I found that interesting, although it's only me living in it. I always thought there was a limit because of the septic tank.

I have no clue what the cost will be, but plan to work full-time in the fall and save money for it. There is no rush. I can do each project when I'm ready.

Adding another bathroom -and one that is wheelchair accessable- has also helped our plans to age in place. We just put one outside where we also finally removed the wooden deck that has been rotting and becoming less sound yearly. Now coming out from the side door from Lia's studio to the outside, the wheel chair lift is immediately on the left beside the house and goes to the upstairs deck which adjoins our main living space. Crossing the driveway takes you to the new bathroom. It wasn't cheap but we also got the gazebo supported and properly roofed this time.

I do wish we'd made the old deck out of something more permanent. But it did hold up for forty years so I shouldn't complain. It wasn't hard for me to build the deck and gazebo myself back then. But now with my arthritic hands and general loss of strength I can't do very ambitious projects anymore. We did find a contractor for the bathroom and to shore up the gazebo who was reasonable and did a good job. A lot of people on my street had hired him for remodeling projects and were happy with him.
 
Adding another bathroom -and one that is wheelchair accessable- has also helped our plans to age in place. We just put one outside where we also finally removed the wooden deck that has been rotting and becoming less sound yearly. Now coming out from the side door from Lia's studio to the outside, the wheel chair lift is immediately on the left beside the house and goes to the upstairs deck which adjoins our main living space. Crossing the driveway takes you to the new bathroom. It wasn't cheap but we also got the gazebo supported and properly roofed this time.

I do wish we'd made the old deck out of something more permanent. But it did hold up for forty years so I shouldn't complain. It wasn't hard for me to build the deck and gazebo myself back then. But now with my arthritic hands and general loss of strength I can't do very ambitious projects anymore. We did find a contractor for the bathroom and to shore up the gazebo who was reasonable and did a good job. A lot of people on my street had hired him for remodeling projects and were happy with him.
Thanks, @MarkD for your update! It looks like a wonderful setup. You were fortunate to find a good contractor!

I have had to delay my renovation plans because the costs that were quoted were too high for my budget. I have been getting other estimates. Today, for example, I had a contractor come and look at my deck. Let's see how that comes along and what he will quote for the cost. He is looking at using Trex composite boards. They have 3 different kinds with different warranties. There's even one with a 50 year warranty. I joked with him, that I don't think I'll be around that long.
 
Thanks, @MarkD for your update! It looks like a wonderful setup. You were fortunate to find a good contractor!

I have had to delay my renovation plans because the costs that were quoted were too high for my budget. I have been getting other estimates. Today, for example, I had a contractor come and look at my deck. Let's see how that comes along and what he will quote for the cost. He is looking at using Trex composite boards. They have 3 different kinds with different warranties. There's even one with a 50 year warranty. I joked with him, that I don't think I'll be around that long.

Hah, perhaps just a warrantee for 20 years for 40 % of the price? ;)
 

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