Remembering your childhood disappointments

Pepper said:
Yes. We carry some negativity our whole lives
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it's not a case of carrying negativity.. it's that if you've been scarred with something, and that wound continually gets opened then , you'll never recover from it.. so to this day if I'm accused of lying when I am telling the truth, that wound is opened again... and I blow my stack...

It all made worse for me personally, because I am stickler fror the truth.. total archetypal Aries ... and so if I'm accused of not telling the truth is doubly bad..
 
Here's one disappointment that I think scarred me. The fact that I'm still mad about it at the age of 77 might tell you something.

I have mentioned before my horrendous 4th grade teacher. When her name is mentioned on the forum made up of people who went to my school, collective shudders are felt across the nation. She was a sadist.

I was a tremendously good speller. Really, really good, mostly because I was a prodigious reader. Our class was training for the annual school spelling bee to see who was going to the school bee, with the winner going to the township spelling bee. I had hopes....oh, how I had hopes, even though I was a 4th grader up against kids all the way to 8th grade.

So, first round and I win. "Just a practice round," says the Witch. Second round, I win. "Practice round." Third round, fourth, fifth, and so on for a couple of hours. I win 'em all. Finally, she's really tired of the "game" and gives me a word that I'm sure wasn't on the list. I can't remember what it was.....my mind has probably blocked it off. I fail and she says that was the winning round and appointed another girl to represent us in the bee. She didn't even ask her to spell the word.

I went home that night and cried and cried. My mother was ready to come to school the next day and tear the Witch a new you-know-what but I begged her not to. It wouldn't have changed anything. I was crushed.

Dang, I really wanted to go to the Bee.
 
Where we lived in the Bronx, when I was 4 or 5, a guy used to come around with a donkey and would put kids on it and take their picture. I desperately wanted this, and told the guy to wait while I asked my parents for the money (I don't remember how much, maybe a buck0. They said no and I spent a long time in the bathroom crying and feeling sorry for myself. I mean, come on, they could have afforded it!
 
Marcy Sheiner said:
Where we lived in the Bronx, when I was 4 or 5, a guy used to come around with a donkey and would put kids on it and take their picture. I desperately wanted this, and told the guy to wait while I asked my parents for the money (I don't remember how much, maybe a buck0. They said no and I spent a long time in the bathroom crying and feeling sorry for myself. I mean, come on, they could have afforded it!
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yes but wasn't that guy muggin people for easy money - like sorta takin them for a ride??
 
When I was a young boy, my parents were killed. That was the biggest disappointment I ever had. I have had dissociative amnesia since the day I was told. There are things I can’t remember. People will ask me how old I was and sometimes I tell them 8 or maybe 9, 10, 11, or sometimes I just say I don’t know.

I was given all the details when I turned 13.
 
smiley said:
Truly sorry to hear that story OG - I don't go smoochie over dogs but I do love them caringly. My own appears to be a rejected one and I have now discovered is a Bull Arab - I think that's what they told me - to me he is just lovable Bundy and has settled in well. I finished up the paperwork at the shire office today and he is now registered for the next two years. I spent much longer out today shopping etc but when I got back not a stitch out of place and not a lot of excitement from him either. I suspect he has been somewhat neglected and perhaps cannot return love - just a wild guess. But

getting back to your dog can anyone imagine the feelings of the dog being left behind - I'm not sure of the emotional structures of dogs so maybe they just accept it and get on with life anyway - but your dog had some inner sense to follow the trail and turned up in your new neighbourhood but once again rejected by your parents. Wot can I say??
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thank you
 
I don't want to make everyone sad... but this one is one that's never left me.. and another reason that being disbelieved cuts me to the quick even to this day...

I was about 13 maybe 14 years old... I'd always been the kid ''without' in my class. no new anything when the other kids were getting things.. having to use the school Cello rather than my own instrument , having to stay in class doing extra tutorial.. while the other kids parents paid for day trips or holidays..

. .. except this one time

It was a simple day trip ..I'd never been on one, and were going to a place called Croy Bay by coach which was about 50 miles from where we lived in the city .. and cost my parents just a few shillings. I'd never been there, never even heard of it... so I was excited to go

There's a beach there but our class didn't visit it, instead we sat in the park under the trees, having an English lesson.. and eating the sandwiches we brought with us ( in my case jam sandwches and water ).... so there was nothing much to tell about the day when we returned..

As I walked in the door I could see my father was furious and he had a map out on the dining table .. and he asked me where I'd been ..I told him that I;d been to Croy Bay.. and that's the last I knew for several hours, as he knocked me clean though a frosted glass door.. !!

Short end of the story is he'd been looking at the map and got the wrong Croy Bay.. he was looking at Croyde Bay in the west of England almost 500 miles away... so as far as he was concerned I had lied and taken their money ...

I begged him to speak to my teacher or my school.... but no..I was a liar and that was that !!
 
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No father to teach me. No father to talk to me, guide me. No father to celebrate with. The excitement I saw when my nephews father came home, I never felt and hated to see at times for the remembrance of what I didn't have.

The other disappointments I experienced meant nothing compared to that one thing which shadowed my entire life.
 
Disgustedman said:
No father to teach me. No father to talk to me, guide me. No father to celebrate with. The excitement I saw when my nephews father came home, I never felt and hated to see at times for the remembrance of what I didn't have.

The other disappointments I experienced meant nothing compared to that one thing which shadowed my entire life.
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try to see it from a brighter side..hard I know.. but you may have had an abusive father like I did.... I would have given everything I had not to have my father
 
Everybody must know by now my biggest childhood disappointment was my parents lie to me about Santa. I've never gotten over that lack of trust. I had to work to find magic in my life and to believe in it and enjoy it because of the Santa thing. :)
 
MACKTEXAS said:
1) My parents were Christians but for reasons too long to go into, did not celebrate Christmas, and my friends didn't understand that, so I felt like an outsider growing up.

2) My mother gave me a photo of herself that had appeared in the newspaper some years before. It was a good likeness, and I was glad to have it. I had laid it on a living room table, and sometime later my father came in and told me I wasn't taking care of it properly, that I should frame it or something. I told him okay, but didn't act on it immediately. When he returned awhile later and saw that it was still on the table, he ripped it to pieces and told me that would teach me a lesson on what can happen when I was so careless with things of value.
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(MAAKTEXAS, maybe your father's (no accuse) cruel action was because he hated that Christmas day celebration had gotten away from the why of Christmas in the first place??)

MACKTEXAS said:
One day in grade school it was time for each student to go up to front of class to pick up our little single bottles of milk. Well I feared my shaking would be exposed as I 'shakily' tried to take the cap off my bottle. Everyone would see my shaking. I told the teacher I did not want any milk and angered, she sent me to the nurse's office with a little bottle of milk. Reluctantly obedient I went, angrily drank as much as I shakily could; nurse took the bottle from me and set it on a windowsill where sunshine beat down on what was left in the bottle. That struck me as so stupid of the nurse, and unhealthy, it angered me, but I knew that trying to explain my refusing the milk bottle would do no good, so I just let the nurse and teacher think I was a disobedient student.
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hollydolly said:
I was like that. not because my parents were in the military but because they were fleeing from something.. I know not what... but it meant I moved school and houses approx every 3 years... always the newbie, always the one who had no friends, always the one terrified to go into a new school with new people.. always the one who'd just made friends and then we were on the move again.
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Hollydolly, l see both of us have gone through the same type experiences. At least l knew why, where you were left wondering.
That is really tough. l'm sorry you had to live through that.
 
Elsie said:
(MAAKTEXAS, maybe your father's (no accuse) cruel action was because he hated that Christmas day celebration had gotten away from the why of Christmas in the first place??)
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No Elsie, that wasn't the reason. It was a long story about why we didn't celebrate Christmas, so that's why I didn't go into it. But since you asked, I'll try to condense it way down. He was a religious fanatic who was displeased with any mainstream church and thought he alone had all the answers. As far Christmas, he said Jesus was sent to die on the cross for our sins, and we were not supposed to celebrate his birth. But then we didn't celebrate Easter either, so none of it made sense to me. That, among other things, is why I left home almost as soon as I graduated.
 
Lots of heart wrenching stories here. You all are an amazing group to feel so free to share. Big hugs to all who were hurt as children and are still triggered by some unpleasant memories. I don’t recall any particular disappointments – grew up with 4 siblings so I learned to blend in. There, no doubt, were some disappointments, but there were also highs to balance it out. 🤗
 
chic said:
Everybody must know by now my biggest childhood disappointment was my parents lie to me about Santa. I've never gotten over that lack of trust. I had to work to find magic in my life and to believe in it and enjoy it because of the Santa thing. :)
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I am so glad to read I'm not the only one who finds that parents lieing to children that there is a "Santa Claus" can lead a child to mistrust so many things about their parents, I gently told my 2 children, oldest daughter age 8. And next Christmas, they sneaked peaks of me putting presents under our little Christmas tree, from their bedroom, lol
 
hands up
Elsie said:
I am so glad to read I'm not the only one who finds that parents lieing to children that there is a "Santa Claus" can lead a child to mistrust so many things about their parents, I gently told my 2 children, oldest daughter age 8. And next Christmas, they sneaked peaks of me putting presents under our little Christmas tree, from their bedroom, lol
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hands up I told my daughter like almost every parent even today that there was a Santa ..and had to tell her as she got a little older there was not one. that was very difficult because I relalised then that she knew I'd lied to her, and that was her first time knowing a lie from me... she actually still brings it up today, and she's 49...
 
In my early teens my family went camping in Wisconsin at a National Forest campground on a lake with a wonderful sandy beach. Great for swimming, but the fishing was a bust, which my father didn't like. I think he may have driven to other nearby lakes and caught fish, but not a bite at the lake we camped at.

One late afternoon, it donned my mask and snorkel and went for a swim in the lake with nothing but a shallow sandy bottom and not a weed in sight. Pretty soon, I'm face to face with a medium sized bass. I think it was a bass, so I went back to the camp and got a fishing rod and returned to the shore where the fish had been. One cast and I snagged him and the fight was on. Then suddenly he was gone. That was typical for my fishing experiences at that age.

I told my dad that I had a fish on the line, and explained how I saw it. He accused me of lying. I swore I was telling the truth and he got really angry because he was sure I had lied. I was devastated, but let it go. There was no way I could make him believe otherwise, because he was sure there were no fish in the lake. I think after a few months I tried again to tell him that I was telling the truth about the fish, but he still accused me of lying and called me a liar.
 
MACKTEXAS said:
No Elsie, that wasn't the reason. It was a long story about why we didn't celebrate Christmas, so that's why I didn't go into it. But since you asked, I'll try to condense it way down. He was a religious fanatic who was displeased with any mainstream church and thought he alone had all the answers. As far Christmas, he said Jesus was sent to die on the cross for our sins, and we were not supposed to celebrate his birth. But then we didn't celebrate Easter either, so none of it made sense to me. That, among other things, is why I left home almost as soon as I graduated.
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Repor

(Father) He considered himself as having a direct link to discerning God’s Word accurately? And any person’s belief that did not jive with his discernment held an abomination to be “fought” against, no matter who, even if a family member? If a family member, it was his blessed requirement with God’s blessing to save them through beating the abomination out of them. Mentally, or physically? I'm so relieved you've overcome being/thinking like him .
 

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