Roommates

Temperament is everything, not all people are suited for such situations, but, some are, it's an individual thing, one must know what one is comfortable with, though it's often a learning curve for some when it comes to such situations.

Ken great pics, looks like you have a great group of friends.
 

IKE said:
I would never consider a roommate because I like my privacy too much and I don't care to have my daily routine disrupted.

To me if would be like having company stay over for a couple days......you know how you're happy to see them when they arrive but you're always REAL happy when they leave, with a roomy your stuck with them.
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Agreed!
 
Butterfly said:
Ina, it sounds like you are actually more looking for a friend than for a roommate. Finding a roommate doesn't mean you'll necessarily find a friend. Maybe you need to get out a bit and find some like minded souls to pal around with -- senior centers, church, volunteering are all great ways to find friends -- and you get to keep your private space private.
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I totally agree with this, and think that if you had a good friend to do things with when you wanted to, then you would be fine. I remember you saying that when you were a little girl, your dream was to be an old-maid librarian, who had all the time in the world to read books and learn new things.
Now, you have your own place, and all the time you want to be alone and study.

But, even so, we all need a friend (even just a casual one) to spend time with and go places together.
I was an only child, and learned to spend a lot of time alone, entertain myself, and enjoy my own company. Even in school, I only had (or wanted) 1-2 friends that I did things together with.

Before I met my husband, I was living alone in a little trailer out in the country in Idaho. My daily company was my dogs. I had a friend that I spent time with .
She and I went to church together, in the summer we went kayaking, or other things we both enjoyed. Sometimes, we went out for a burger or just a cup of coffee together.
Pat lived alone, and so did I, and we both liked that; but very much enjoyed the time we spent together as well.

I really liked living alone. My time was my own. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, did not bother anyone if I wanted to stay up late and play the organ and sing at the top of my lungs, even if it was midnight.
I walked with my dogs every day, and rode my horse when I wanted to. It was maybe the best time of my whole life.

However, some people are not happy just being alone, and you might be one of them, Ina. At least with a roommate, you are in control of the situation, and what the rules will be , and if it does not work out; then they have to leave. I think that the idea of volunteering somewhere that you can help people is a good one. There are a lot of seniors who are housebound, and would love to have a visitor come by and see them for a while once or twice a week. I think that you and Izzy would be perfect for that kind of thing.
 
I lived in mixed communal situations when I was young where everyone had their own room and we shared kitchen and cooking. This lasted for a while and eventually people went their separate ways. But there were housekeeping problems, I was amazed how some people did not know how to sweep a floor or take out the garbage. It was a good way to live in a decent place and pay low rent. I think there are also older seniors living in this kind of communal arrangement which gives people social interaction and yet privacy when they want it.
 
I took in two roommates (separately) when I first moved into my home. To help me with expenses. Both were less than pleasant experiences. The first lady was, well, odd. rarely left her room, even brought her food in there to eat. She often gave me less than our agreed upon (in writing) rent. We worked at the same place, and often she spread hateful and untrue rumors about me. It is not like we were kids. I was in my early 40s, she was a few years older. I kicked her out.
The second lady was not so bad, but our personalities clashed. Not in a bad way, but enough that we simply did not get along. She moved out on her own.

I am sure I would never do it again, say if something happened to my husband, but I would find better ways to vet the people.
 
know really well...and trust-t -It is a crap shoot. but to get head start it should be someone you know and like/love and respect and know well...then it is very workable. no surpirses that way.
 
I hate to mention the obvious- roommates get older. One minor stroke can be devastating. One becomes the care taker of the other. What if one feels able to care for himself, but can't? I thought it would be nice to have a roomie. Ya know- somebody besides a cat. But before I could do anything. I found myself on the floor after a blackout. It took a minute to go from getting a possible roomie to being in a home.
 
I've been searching for years for someone to share a place with. I had the perfect roommate, and we shared apartments on and off for years. Never a problem. Got along great, bills got paid and place stayed clean. We were discussing upgrading to a modest residential home instead of continuing apartment rentals, when out of the blue he suddenly died from a heart attack. In his 40s no less.

That turned my whole world upside down, and I've been drifting ever since. Living out of a suitcase, traveling without a personal vehicle, and unable to decide where in the country I'd be happy living long term. Also unable to find a place I fit in, that is within my sorely limited budget. Or an honest reliable compatible housemate to split the costs.

Unfortunately my journey eventually carried me to a tiny rural western town, with no public transportation, no good work opportunities, and no social activities of interest to me. And no friends to do anything with. Currently trying to get back to southeastern US, but have no family or friends to help with a safe stable place to land. I'd probably stay out west, but all my belongings are in storage back east, and I need to get that hefty bill off my back, as well as lighten my load.

Since I'm no longer working, I've posted many ads offering to help out part time with a small business, or on a farm, in exchange for a break in bills. But I have no experience with farming or livestock, and haven't had any good offers yet. All I know is I like working outdoors, I need the exercise, and something to keep me active, because I'm stagnating and withering away here. I'm male in my 50s, still physically able, but I can no longer perform strenuous labor, due to my age and past job related injuries.

The winter weather will certainly be an impediment, but maybe in spring I'll be able to relocate, as things warm up and more housing and outdoor work possibilities become available.
 
Ina, I found this site for the very reason you are asking about roommate/s. I am split right down the middle. Have lived alone and never been lonely until recently, and I always enjoyed my privacy and way of life. In the last year, I have dreamed of a Golden Girl situation.

Of course, I see a a place where there is enough space to still have privacy, but when the mood strikes the common area is where roomies gather and share a meal or play a game or watch a movie. Then I think of what I could not tolerate: another person trying to change my thinking or control the whole house, or having too much company/family that comes too much and perhaps stays overnight too much.

For me, although the suggestions were good, I am not one who needs a big social schedule with senior groups, etc. My brain works fine, but my body is wearing out...old friends don't invite me places anymore because I can't move as fast. I am just lonely for a good friend, one I can trust that is asleep down the hallway and would take time out to sit with me and talk and vice versa.

I grew up in big D, but live elsewhere now. I was transferred to Houston by my company in the late 80's...my make up was melted off by 10 am...ha! This last relocation came at the same time as knee replacement and it prevented me from socializing here,, so I dream of leaving and finding a safe roommate. But, I do agree that it could turn out really bad and I am too old to move but one more time.

I liked the reply that listed what to do if you do decide to get a roommate. Check them out and be extremely careful. Bravo to all those who love being alone, but it's just ok to want to hear another person's voice in the house, to go place together, etc. It's not needy, it's natural. Good luck. If I could wave a magic wand, I'd be visiting my GG buddies right now.
 
Annie Mack said:
Ina, I found this site for the very reason you are asking about roommate/s. I am split right down the middle. Have lived alone and never been lonely until recently, and I always enjoyed my privacy and way of life. In the last year, I have dreamed of a Golden Girl situation.

Of course, I see a a place where there is enough space to still have privacy, but when the mood strikes the common area is where roomies gather and share a meal or play a game or watch a movie. Then I think of what I could not tolerate: another person trying to change my thinking or control the whole house, or having too much company/family that comes too much and perhaps stays overnight too much.

For me, although the suggestions were good, I am not one who needs a big social schedule with senior groups, etc. My brain works fine, but my body is wearing out...old friends don't invite me places anymore because I can't move as fast. I am just lonely for a good friend, one I can trust that is asleep down the hallway and would take time out to sit with me and talk and vice versa.

I grew up in big D, but live elsewhere now. I was transferred to Houston by my company in the late 80's...my make up was melted off by 10 am...ha! This last relocation came at the same time as knee replacement and it prevented me from socializing here,, so I dream of leaving and finding a safe roommate. But, I do agree that it could turn out really bad and I am too old to move but one more time.

I liked the reply that listed what to do if you do decide to get a roommate. Check them out and be extremely careful. Bravo to all those who love being alone, but it's just ok to want to hear another person's voice in the house, to go place together, etc. It's not needy, it's natural. Good luck. If I could wave a magic wand, I'd be visiting my GG buddies right now.
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Annie, I thought you'd like to know that Ina passed some time ago.
 
Butterfly said:
Annie, I thought you'd like to know that Ina passed some time ago.
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Butterfly, Thank you for sharing that Ina has moved on from Earth 101. It fits I would respond for the first time to someone who doesn't need the computer anymore to communicate. I am so electronically challenged that I shy away from participation. Haven't even filled out my info. I am 65, live alone and admit to a kind of loneliness I never considered in my younger years. Far too independent when younger and physically fit, so living alone was never an issue for me. Now, I see and feel things that makes being alone uncomfortable and unnatural, at times. But, it could be that I don't even have the random visits from children, grandchildren, friends, as I have outlived my entire immediate family (which included children, thus no grandchildren, nieces, nephews, etc.). Add learning, after illness, what the true definition of "fair-weathered friends "is and relocating have all left me REALLY ALONE. So, I probably romanticize having a roommate more than I should. I am going to try and learn how to navigate this forum so I won't feel so isolated. Thanks again for telling me about Ina. I like thinking she is happy and with her husband and other family and friends.
 
The only ''roommate'' I ever had was my daughter while growing up until she left at 20-21, that's 35 years ago. I was and am still happy to be alone with privacy, would never want to have a roommate, not even a boyfriend/husband at my stage in life.

My daughter found her one and only roommate from an ad, a complete stranger. Cynthia was perfect. She was pretty, friendly, pleasant, neat, and paid her bills on time. My daughter would sometimes use Cynthia's TV dinners but would leave a note and replaced it soon. They were almost perfect roommates. The only 'problem' is that my daughter wanted a buddy to socialize and go out with. Cynthia worked part time and went to college and on weekends spent it with her boyfriend at his ranch. Then after about a year my daughter let her boyfriend move in with them. Cynthia, rightfully, complained that it was not what she signed up for and that she still had to pay 50% of the bills. So, my daughter moved out with the boyfriend and Cynthia also moved out, she couldn't afford the place by herself and didn't want to find another roommate. My daughter later on (her boyfriend was a loser and they soon split up) regretted her decision and said she didn't know back then how lucky she was to have found Cynthia.
 
I thought about getting a room mate, but not someone my age. I'm home bond. I need someone to mow the lawn, shovel the deck in winter, etc. I was thinking of a college student. I'd provide a home in exchange for some work around the place, maybe a ride to the docs, etc. He'd provide his own meals. Anybody think this is a good idea?
 
its a crap shoot, but try to have an intimate enough trustworthy relationship friendship first...i realize that is nearly impossible ...but it has and can be done....still a crap shoot.
 


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