Roommates

fuzzybuddy said:
I thought about getting a room mate, but not someone my age. I'm home bond. I need someone to mow the lawn, shovel the deck in winter, etc. I was thinking of a college student. I'd provide a home in exchange for some work around the place, maybe a ride to the docs, etc. He'd provide his own meals. Anybody think this is a good idea?
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I think it's a good idea. Try to get references, and remember to have a written agreement and understanding of house rules (especially regarding guests and parties).
 

Ina said:
I have been living alone since my husband died last December, and I have no family interested in my daily life. I have been thinking of getting a roommate, but I have heard some pretty horrible stories concerning this issue.

I have no other way of getting advice on this, or for that matter, on any issue. In the past, I have received a lot of good advice from this forum, so here I come again, asking for your opinions.
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If your library doesn't have a copies of these books, go to the desk and request it via the "interlibrary loan system".

https://store.nolo.com/products/living-together-ltk.html

https://play.google.com/store/books...MvMIAsO-ufYxt-n6wVkaAsj-EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
 

I would say No to it -reason being who can you trust now a days ?
even if you got a person roughly same age -they could be out to con you ..if you are feeling lonely -maybe a pet
or tiny dog for company '' be careful 'there is nothing wrong in having your own space ' join a group if your can

get out and about , but I would re-think on your thoughts .. I like my privacy in my own home !!!!!
 
hollydolly said:
Welcome to the forum, but this thread is many years old, and the OP of this forum, Ina, passed away a few years ago....
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Thank you. Whether or not Ina can benefit now, the topic will continue to be an issue new
members confront, making the thread potentially useful.
 
toffee said:
I would say No to it -reason being who can you trust now a days ?
even if you got a person roughly same age -they could be out to con you ..if you are feeling lonely -maybe a pet
or tiny dog for company '' be careful 'there is nothing wrong in having your own space ' join a group if your can

get out and about , but I would re-think on your thoughts .. I like my privacy in my own home !!!!!
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I understand your point, but would offer the observation that we "trust" all the time, without realizing it.
You get on the road, and trust complete strangers to stop at the traffic light instead of ramming into you.
You buy food, you trust the people who packaged it to have handled it safely.
You get a prescription, and you trust everyone in the supply chain to have produced it correctly, the clerk to fill it with the right drug.
You turn the light switch, you trust the people at the power plant to be doing their job.
You turn to the news, you trust that it is mostly accurate.

Of course toffee, you're going to say that you mean "don't bring a stranger into your home".
The irony is, the people we think we know best carry the greatest potential for harm.

For example......an employer rejects an applicant that happens to have a criminal record.
What the employer doesn't realize is that statistically speaking, among their current long-term employees are going
to be criminals who simply haven't been caught yet.
Embezzlers, spouse beaters, rapists.....that loyal warehouse guy with a side job on the weekends breaking into homes to steal stuff.

Can be enlightening to do an online background check on anyone.
 
I live alone and am quite lonely most of the time as I moved back to my hometown after retiring and divorcing and being out of state for 30 plus years. I have acquaintances that I can exchange a hello to if I'm out and about, but they all have partners or long standing friendships and have no need or desire for another person in their lives. Friendship takes time and effort. I need it; they don't - simple as that. So, this whole Coronavirus situation hasn't really changed my life much at all with the exception that I can no longer just go out and go to the local coffee shop or walk around among people so I won't feel so alone.

All of that background is simply to preface this: I have had numerous people suggest roommates, and I vehemently disagree with that plan as I don't think it solves the real issue of loneliness and only adds to all of the problems listed above. I am financially secure so have no need to share expenses. While I might be lonely, at least I have peace and a feeling of security and can do exactly as I please when I please. I have no need or desire to cater to another person's whims or deal with their messes whether it be differences in cleanliness or their emotional baggage. I do not want strangers in my home - and you never have just a roommate; you always have a roommate with friends and relatives. I still hold out hope that by doing the things I love, I will eventually stumble across at least one more human being who shares at least some of my interests and has room in their life for a new friend.
 
Marlene said:
I live alone and am quite lonely most of the time as I moved back to my hometown after retiring and divorcing and being out of state for 30 plus years. I have acquaintances that I can exchange a hello to if I'm out and about, but they all have partners or long standing friendships and have no need or desire for another person in their lives. Friendship takes time and effort. I need it; they don't - simple as that. So, this whole Coronavirus situation hasn't really changed my life much at all with the exception that I can no longer just go out and go to the local coffee shop or walk around among people so I won't feel so alone.

All of that background is simply to preface this: I have had numerous people suggest roommates, and I vehemently disagree with that plan as I don't think it solves the real issue of loneliness and only adds to all of the problems listed above. I am financially secure so have no need to share expenses. While I might be lonely, at least I have peace and a feeling of security and can do exactly as I please when I please. I have no need or desire to cater to another person's whims or deal with their messes whether it be differences in cleanliness or their emotional baggage. I do not want strangers in my home - and you never have just a roommate; you always have a roommate with friends and relatives. I still hold out hope that by doing the things I love, I will eventually stumble across at least one more human being who shares at least some of my interests and has room in their life for a new friend.
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In this era, there may be a call out for volunteers to do online "telecommute" style / conference style
teaching and tutoring. Webcam, skype, and you're in business.

https://www.learntobe.org/apply

just one example, I don't necessarily endorse any specific method or site.
 
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bearcat said:
In this era, there may be a call out for volunteers to do online "telecommute" style / conference style
teaching and tutoring. Webcam, skype, and you're in business.

https://www.learntobe.org/apply

just one example, I don't necessarily endorse any specific method or site.
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This is a great and worthwhile suggestion but addresses a whole different problem than I have. I don't suffer from nothing to do as I'm quite busy all the time; I'm just very lonely. I already do volunteer teaching, and it satisfies a need to be useful but not to make friends. Once the classes are over, I never see or hear from the students again unlike when I was teaching at in the past.

I still have students from as far back as 1998 that keep in contact with me. That was completely different as I was invested in their success over a period four to five years and got to know them as well as their families. These one-off classes are quite different. . .satisfying in the sense that I have something worthwhile to offer, but not in terms of forming friendships.
 
bearcat said:
In this era, there may be a call out for volunteers to do online "telecommute" style / conference style
teaching and tutoring. Webcam, skype, and you're in business.

https://www.learntobe.org/apply

just one example, I don't necessarily endorse any specific method or site.
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I'm involved with an organization that coaches and serves as interpreters for people who are taking their US citizenship interview. At this time, I do it via Zoom. They need lots of volunteers that speak different languages. Anyone interested can check Volunteers.org.
 

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