Rudeness among healthcare staff?

V

Victor

Senior Member
Location
midwest USA
Have you noticed that when you are no longer under the care of medical staff
in a clinic or hospital, and you happen to see them, say in the hall or cafeteria,
they sometimes act like they don't know you? Not even a nod, hello or eye contact.
They were very nice and friendly and helpful when you needed it, but when you are
discharged or not their patient now, they may ignore you. Not all of them do this,
but here are examples
I left my cardio rehab and the woman who was so nice all the time, walked quickly past
me through the door, like I was invisible.
Two physical therapists I know well avoid making eye contact with me. But if I say hello first.
then they are friendly and smile.. Obviously theres no obligation, it's just courtesy.

Is this rude, do you think? Of course, everyone is rude some time in all walks of life,
including me.
 

I don't think it's rudeness as much as it is just shutting off the job in order to relax and enjoy a break.

Now, me...I'm one of those unfortunate folks who suffers from face blindness. That is, I just plain don't recognize faces except for family or people I know really well. There's a name for it: Prosopagnosia. It's lucky for me that I never worked at a job that required me to recognize clients/customers!
 

Had an opposite thing happen to me. While visiting Rick in the nursing home, I ran into a respiratory therapist who worked with him in the hospital (hospital and nursing home are affiliated with each other, share some staff), He recognized me and Rick, I kind of had to ask who he was. So I guess it goes both ways. I home he did not see US as being rude.
 
Another possibility:
They're not being rude. Maybe they just don't recognize you. I've learned something while visiting friends in the hospital. People look very different in a hospital bed than they do when they're walking around, dressed in their regular clothes, neat appearance, etc. Several times, I've stopped & verified that I was in the right room because I wasn't sure who I was visiting.
 
win231 said:
Another possibility:
They're not being rude. Maybe they just don't recognize you. I've learned something while visiting friends in the hospital. People look very different in a hospital bed than they do when they're walking around, dressed in their regular clothes, neat appearance, etc. Several times, I've stopped & verified that I was in the right room because I wasn't sure who I was visiting.
Click to expand...

Agree. Plus they have hundreds of patients to remember. Sheesh.
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
I don't think it's rudeness as much as it is just shutting off the job in order to relax and enjoy a break.

Now, me...I'm one of those unfortunate folks who suffers from face blindness. That is, I just plain don't recognize faces except for family or people I know really well. There's a name for it: Prosopagnosia. It's lucky for me that I never worked at a job that required me to recognize clients/customers!
Click to expand...
Thanks for putting a name to it I need to do some reading.

I rarely recognize people if I see them outside of their normal place in my life.
 
Aunt Bea, I bet there are lots of us out there just not aware that there are others! One day last week I was in line at the pharmacy, and my PCP was standing right behind me. Mind you, I've had this doctor for 10 years...and when she spoke to me the only way I knew who she was is that her name was embroidered on her lab coat! Another time when I was still working as a cleaning fairy, a client was next to me in line at Target and spoke to me...it took a few sentences from her before it registered that I'd been cleaning for her every week for six months and she was a client. It can be embarrassing for sure.
 
Years ago when I was a Practical Nurse I would run into patients I had in the past. I recognized them but if they didn't say hello first I avoided contact because many times former patients will go into a lengthy conversation about their illness and how they are doing now. I cared but discussing this in the middle isle of Target was not the proper place and sometimes I didn't have the time.
 
Maybe they just don't recognize you. Healthcare professionals may see a zillion people in a day, but you, as the patient, see only a few and are more likely to remember them, I think.

When I was working -- not in healthcare, but in law office -- I might see a lot of people in a day and probably wouldn't recognize them if I saw them on the street and out of context.
 
Victor said:
Have you noticed that when you are no longer under the care of medical staff
in a clinic or hospital, and you happen to see them, say in the hall or cafeteria,
they sometimes act like they don't know you? Not even a nod, hello or eye contact.
They were very nice and friendly and helpful when you needed it, but when you are
discharged or not their patient now, they may ignore you. Not all of them do this,
but here are examples
I left my cardio rehab and the woman who was so nice all the time, walked quickly past
me through the door, like I was invisible.
Two physical therapists I know well avoid making eye contact with me. But if I say hello first.
then they are friendly and smile.. Obviously theres no obligation, it's just courtesy.

Is this rude, do you think? Of course, everyone is rude some time in all walks of life,
including me.
Click to expand...

No I don’t think it’s rude at all.
Healthcare workers aren’t your friends; they are professionals, meaning they ‘should’ make a distinction between the two. It’s considered very unprofessional to approach a patient or an x patient in such a manner.

Even if the patient initiates the friendly contact, a professional stance should be maintained for all concerned, in my opinion.
 
In some cases it might be a confidentiality thing. A friend who is a (now retired) therapist said when she saw clients at a restaurant, etc. she didn't acknowledge them or chat.

But I ran into my gynecologiist at a bagel shop and he didn't call me by name but smiled and nodded.
 
It all depends on the reason. Sometimes professionals will not cross that familiarity line in public out of respect for privacy in my opinion. It works the other way too.

I saw my doctor with her adorable twin sons at the grocery store. I didn't go over and say hello. I had an appointment last week and told her that I saw her but chose not to go over and say hello because I figured she runs into her clients often and I wanted to respect her precious time off with her super cute well-behaved little boys.

She said she appreciated that but doesn't run into her clients much at that location. She glowed as she shared about her boys with me. I know she didn't think I was rude.
 
No, these 2 occup therapists know me because we briefly chatted a few times after I was released
from rehab almost 2 years ago. They were friendly for about 6 months afterward, asking about my health when I saw them
finishing lunch.
Now I'm invisible. One is in her early 30's, another in fifties. The one from cardio class knows me very well.
She worked with me for 4 years, closely, during exercise. I gave her calendars. We joked together.
My former doctor actually walked past me and 2 other current patients sitting, 2 feet away in the hospital without even looking at us or nodding. Very rude. My former nurse who knows me well acts like she doesn't know me.
They react to me only when I say hello first. Maybe they are thinking--it's only Victor, that old man.
Just maybe they think I am interested in them romantically--.
It is not just health personnel. Professors, salesmen, and man y others do this. But there's a peculiar bond formed
between health workers and patients.
 
I've occasionally gotten a doctor with a God complex who thinks he is better than his patients and can talk down to them. They get one office visit from me and I'm done with them.
 
Victor said:
No, these 2 occup therapists know me because we briefly chatted a few times after I was released
from rehab almost 2 years ago. They were friendly for about 6 months afterward, asking about my health when I saw them
finishing lunch.
Now I'm invisible. One is in her early 30's, another in fifties. The one from cardio class knows me very well.
She worked with me for 4 years, closely, during exercise. I gave her calendars. We joked together.
My former doctor actually walked past me and 2 other current patients sitting, 2 feet away in the hospital without even looking at us or nodding. Very rude. My former nurse who knows me well acts like she doesn't know me.
They react to me only when I say hello first. Maybe they are thinking--it's only Victor, that old man.
Just maybe they think I am interested in them romantically--.
It is not just health personnel. Professors, salesmen, and man y others do this. But there's a peculiar bond formed
between health workers and patients.
Click to expand...
Well if you are determined to know the answer, you'll have to ask them. But first, ask yourself: "Am I irritating? Do I share too much and demand time from busy people? Am I too easily offended? Does any of this matter?"
 
I have dealt with social workers who were rude to me AS a patient in the office setting...never really thought of wanting to talk to them outside of the setting.

Actually, though, I see nothing wrong with a healthcare professional acknowledging someone outside of the office...a smile or hello if they can recall you. Sometimes they forget faces as they see so many.

I have seen some healthcare professionals who have said hello outside of the office..it brightened my day really.
 
How about this........I make an appointment with a new PCP about 20 years ago. I went to see him because I couldn’t get rid of the stomach pain that I was having for almost a month. When he was about ready to wrap up the visit, I told him that I also wanted to ask him about a sore throat that comes and goes. It’s not real bad, just annoying more than anything. He told me to make a second appointment.

When I went to the check out desk, the lady said the doctor wants to see you back in 2 weeks. I told her that I won’t be back. She asked me if I was moving. I told her, no. I just decided that I needed a change.
 
All of the above. I think many want to maintain a professional relationship and behavior. And some don't want to be bothered. I always heard many professionals like doctors. lawyers don't like being hit up for free advice all the time. Nor do they want to be bothered regardless of the person or request on their own time. Certain professions, less face it is one's life, not part of it.
 
I still think that their niceness or friendliness on the job does not transfer
when you are no longer a patient. Call it a mask, facade or set of manners.
You are only another ex-patient. No need or obligation to acknowledge you, they feel.
Also, if you are opposite sexes, the female may feel that niceness looks too forward
send the wrong signal. Especially if she feels you like her.
I suspect that two females react differently to each other.
 
Victor said:
I still think that their niceness or friendliness on the job does not transfer
when you are no longer a patient. Call it a mask, facade or set of manners.
You are only another ex-patient. No need or obligation to acknowledge you, they feel.
Also, if you are opposite sexes, the female may feel that niceness looks too forward
send the wrong signal. Especially if she feels you like her.
I suspect that two females react differently to each other.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't overthink it, being nice to people that I encountered at work was simply a part of my job.
 
Heal care providers see hundreds of patients a week. They do not try to, and can't, memorize each patient. From a patient's perspective they see one or two people at a doctor's office, so they can't understand why the opposite doesn't apply. The person that does phlebotomies at my cardiologists is about the most standoffish person I have encountered in the medical field. I've never seen her smile and I've never been able to engage her in any small talk, she doesn't respond to anything I say, or even look me in the eye. It just "Get in the chair! Make a fist!"
 
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I was in line at Starbucks when I heard someone next to me gasp "WOW!" I turned to see who it was. He was a dentist who I hadn't seen in a few years because he did a bad job on a bridge. When I realized who he was, I said, "Hi." He was shocked because the last time he saw me, I was much larger. He said he thought he was hallucinating. LOL.
 

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