Run-in with a jerk

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Buckeye said:
{shrug} I never doubted the OP's accounting of the incident. The last time I was on a city bus was about 1975, and as I recall, there were plenty of rude young folks as riders. I was younger man then, so I wasn't a target, but now I certainly would be.
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Thanks, Buckeye.
I think that my age is precisely why that jerk gave me such a hard time. Had he actually laid hands on me, instead of grabbing my cart, he would have been in for a huge surprise. I may not be too strong anymore, but I always carry a weapon that would have ended matters quickly. In my neck of the woods, a man who can not/will not protect his honor soon becomes a victim.
In case you missed it, that thug had more than enough room to pass by me.
 
I notice that I am still being stalked by a trouble maker. I occasionally see "you are ignoring content by this member". No idea what was said, but I can well imagine it was more bitter, abusive hysteria.
 
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Shero said:
He that lives by the knife, dies by the knife, meaning:

“if you use violent, forceful, or underhanded methods against other people, you can expect those same methods to be used against you.”
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Course @Shero there is a difference in responding to a man on a bus when you are surrounded by people amd under the circumstances described. It also depends on the man. It is very hard to kill someone with a knife unless you have been trained. This is why stabbing victims are stabbed, well, a lot.

Now, if it had been my husband-a trained combat marine- on that bus telling mr I don’t bend over to move that cart-the cart would have been moved. Cause mr I don’t bend over would have bent over enough to move that cart. 😂😂😂. Otherwise, it would have ended poorly for him and the cart. 😉
 
Shero said:
To me, "carrying a weapon" means you are looking for trouble. Not admirable at all unless you livein a lawless place and I do not consider a bus in San Diego lawless!
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Not necessarily. For many, carrying a weapon means being prepared for trouble - if it finds you.
BUT, for someone with an attitude like "senior chef," it would definitely mean looking for trouble.
 
If you carry a weapon, you really need to exercise extreme forbearance, or you will end up on the ugly side of both criminal and civil law.
I don't carry any weapons, but if a would be assailant gets their ass kicked by a great-grandpa, then shame on them. :p
 
Nathan said:
If you carry a weapon, you really need to exercise extreme forbearance, or you will end up on the ugly side of both criminal and civil law.
I don't carry any weapons, but if a would be assailant gets their ass kicked by a great-grandpa, then shame on them. :p
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Yeah, I hear you. Good advise. I'd only use it if I was FIRST physically attacked.
I still have some strength left but certainly not enough to go mano a mano with a young thug. Anything longer than 30 seconds and I'd be toast.

In the final analysis, I'd much rather be standing upright, talking to cops, than to be on my way to the hospital … or worse.
 
Lee said:
Why is it necessary for you mention that the man was black? Just curious.
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Ever tell a story. It's called descriptive writing. So now tell us, why is it necessary for you to question the writer's character even though you've never met him? You know what you did.
 
Skyking said:
Ever tell a story. It's called descriptive writing. So now tell us, why is it necessary for you to question the writer's character even though you've never met him? You know what you did.
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You've just responded to a thread that is over 3 months old. You know what you did. ;)
 
feywon said:
Frankly my first thought reading the title was 'Oh, he looked in the mirror and had a moment of clarity.

In answer to Lee you said "Probably for the same reason I'd have mentioned if he had numerous facial tatoos." Since elsewhere in this thread you used forms of the word 'intimidate', i have to conclude you find both Black men and heavily facially tatooed men intimidating before they say a thing to you. Your guard goes up and you percieve anything they say or do in worst possible light.

Don't suppose it occurred to you that being a young Black man he may have been concerned that if his clothing had caught on or one of feet had bumped your cart that you would have complained about that or accused him of something? We have only your word that his initial tone was 'demanding', and considering your attitude on some threads and how judgmental you've shown yourself to be i'm inclined to think that was in your ears, due your attitude, not in his initial tone.

If someone is unpleasant to me in public i consider the fact they may be having a horrible day. When and how did you decide the man was a jerk? When he first asked or when he didn't respond as you wished to your command to 'Just walk passed'?
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I think taking Senior chef's word for the incident is part of supporting a fellow Senior Forum member. How is it that it is o.k. for you to name a member judgmental but not for Chef to report the facts of the incident? In some things. I think it is unfair for some of us to acquire a morally superior attitude especially in this case as we were not there. I have taken that attitude in some instances much to my shame. Why should chef move from his seat when commanded to by anyone? Let's remember, Chef is a Senior too and should not have to take bullying from anyone let alone someone who is obviously younger. I think we should take chef's word for what happened and offer support not shaming. Just my two cents.
 
win231 said:
If you had responded with something like: "That's a good idea, thanks for letting me know," that would not be knuckling under; that would be showing wisdom. And your loved ones would not be in mourning.
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We were not there and if Senior Chef felt that he took the right action, then it would be supportive of a fellow member to accept this. If Chef wants to confront a bully, that is his decision, Sometimes we just have a couple of moments to assess a situation before acting.
I agree that we should always behave in a cautious manner, but we also have the right to protecting our dignity when others like to trample upon it. Some of us will pay the price but I think that is understood. Yes, sometimes some of us feel it is worth the risk of becoming a victim if we stand up for ourselves.
 
jujube said:
"Discretion is the better part of valor".

You seem to have a bit of a chip on your shoulder. In today's violent society, you may be in the right but this could lead to your being "dead" right.
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I think it was *not* Chef who had the chip on his shoulder. Being commanded to move from his seat was not having a chip it was standing one's ground in order not to give in to a bully. We were not there so to criticize someone, let alone a senior and a member of this forum for standing up for himself is not only very unkind, in my opinion, it is not our business how he chose to handle it.
 
IFortuna said:
We were not there and if Senior Chef felt that he took the right action, then it would be supportive of a fellow member to accept this. If Chef wants to confront a bully, that is his decision, Sometimes we just have a couple of moments to assess a situation before acting.
I agree that we should always behave in a cautious manner, but we also have the right to protecting our dignity when others like to trample upon it. Some of us will pay the price but I think that is understood. Yes, sometimes some of us feel it is worth the risk of becoming a victim if we stand up for ourselves.
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"It would be supportive of a fellow member to accept this."
Really? That one takes the cake and first prize. Everyone should support fellow members whether we agree with them or not.
The bully is the one who starts a fight by being passive aggressive by blocking an aisle with his cart.
 
senior chef said:
Yesterday, while riding on a public bus on my way back from the supermarket, I had a near violent confrontation with a jerk.
I had my small wheeled hand cart with me and it was filled with groceries. The hand cart was PARTIALLY in the aisle but there was plenty of room for people to move passed. A 20 something black man got on and he wanted to go to the back of the bus. He could easily have edged passed but he demanded that I move the basket to near the exit. I told him, "Just walk passed" he shouted at me and he grabbed my little basket. I held on to my basket. He moved up into my face still shouting. I said "leave me alone, WALK PASSED." He pressed the issue and looked like he was getting ready to be violent.
I stood up and said, as I TOWERED over him, "You want to hit me ? Go ahead. I'll put you in the hospital."

If that passenger had been handicapped or loaded down with packages, I'd have moved my little wheeled basket to the exit area. BUT, not for a jerk.
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I don't care if this thread is old, I support you Chef in your actions. Too many times seniors have had to bow to bullying. When you stand up to it, you stand for me and other seniors. Thank you for your story.
 
win231 said:
"It would be supportive of a fellow member to accept this."
Really? That one takes the cake and first prize. Everyone should support fellow members whether we agree with them or not.
The bully is the one who starts a fight by being passive aggressive by blocking an aisle with his cart.
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No, I did not say that. The fact that a senior and a member of this forum stood up for himself should be enough not to criticize him, in my opinion. If you want to disagree fine. I see it as he stood up for me as a senior as well as himself. If there are occasions that we should not support a fellow member, this is not one of them in my opinion. You have your opinion and I have mine. I love a man or woman that will stand up to a bully. It may not always be smart or wise, but I respect it. He assessed the situation and took the action he felt compelled to take. I support that. I was not there to criticize what he decided to do.
 
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