Scenario: Would you tell your friend? read below.

L

LadyEmeraude

Senior Member
True scenario for me about 15 years ago and what I did.

I am out to dinner at a new restaurant with my partner at that time.

He says to me: "Isn't that your friend Judy's (name changed)' husband?"

Me: " as I look to where he is asking me to look, and I reply yes, that is
Ron (name changed).

Anyway Ron and this woman were at the moment exchanging what
seemed to be a warm passionate kiss on their mouths.

What did I do? I was unsure of the situation at that moment, I did
not go over and say hello, I am not certain if he even saw me anyway.
Shortly thereafter Ron and said woman, got up and paid their bill, then
left the restaurant.

So who was this woman, would you have said anything to him or to
your friend Judy about what you saw?

The end.

Comments welcomed...
 

Depends how close the friendship was. There will be fallout. Are you willing to support your friend through the aftermath? Are you prepared to hear her call you a liar?

Everyone knew what my husband was doing except me. Someone I hardly knew came to my house on an errand, saw my wedding photo, and blurted it out.

Speaking only for myself, I wish I had known sooner. I wish a friend had told me.

Afterwards, they were all, "I thought you knew." Uh, if I'd known, I would be telling everyone how upset I was, etc. But I guess others prefer to sweep it under the carpet.
 

Oh, I'd have definitely said Hello. And I'd have turned to the hussy lady and smiled and said "Hello, I'm Frank (real name), a close friend of Ron's." I'd be tempted to say Ron and Judy's, but I'd be hoping the slu... um, the lady would reciprocate and give me her name.......so I could tell it to Judy.

Truthfully, I wouldn't tell Judy.....unless Ron didn't. He knew I saw them, so he'd want to tell Judy before I did. But like I said, if he didn't then he's an arse and no friend of mine.
 
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I would have walked over to say Hello to Ron. I think Judy would have the right to know her husband
was cheating on her.

My late half-brother had a "secret" girlfriend that my late sis-in-law gradually found out about. She was
devastated that her close friend, who knew, hadn't told her.

Though you may lose the friendship, I think it's best to tell. I would want to know.
 
Murrmurr said:
Oh, I'd have definitely said Hello. And I'd have turned to the hussy lady and smiled and said "Hello, I'm Frank (real name), a close friend of Ron's." I'd be tempted to say Ron and Judy's, but I'd be hoping the slu...um, the lady would reciprocate and give me her name.......so I could tell it to Judy.
Click to expand...
As to the derogatory names for the other gal with Ron, I admit that it may not be likely but it is possible that she might not have even known he was married. Now if you're thinking to yourself, "Aw, cmon; in this day and age with google and all; she had to have known he was married." True, but: some of these guys use the tactics my dad used, 1) my wife and I are still legally married but separated, 2) my wife and I are soon to be separated, 3) Although I long to be not only separated but divorced from my wife, I dare not do so because of the children [yeah, right], yadda yadda.
 
officerripley said:
As to the derogatory names for the other gal with Ron, I admit that it may not be likely but it is possible that she might not have even known he was married. Now if you're thinking to yourself, "Aw, cmon; in this day and age with google and all; she had to have known he was married." True, but: some of these guys use the tactics my dad used, 1) my wife and I are still legally married but separated, 2) my wife and I are soon to be separated, 3) Although I long to be not only separated but divorced from my wife, I dare not do so because of the children [yeah, right], yadda yadda.
Click to expand...
Plus, while the terms he used may have been accurate, I didn't see any comparable terms for the guy.
After all, she was "the other woman," but he was cheating on his wife.
 
Pinky said:
I would have walked over to say Hello to Ron. I think Judy would have the right to know her husband
was cheating on her.

My late half-brother had a "secret" girlfriend that my late sis-in-law gradually found out about. She was
devastated that her close friend, who knew, hadn't told her.

Though you may lose the friendship, I think it's best to tell. I would want to know.
Click to expand...
When I was married to my first wife I occasionally came home to find our friend, Stacy, babysitting the kids. She'd say Shelly (my wife) was on an errand, but she knew Shelly was on a "date" with a neighbor. Our good friend Stacy watched my kids while my wife boinked the low-life living right behind us.

After I found that out, I tossed Stacy out of my life just as quick as I did Shelly.
 
Murrmurr said:
Oh, I'd have definitely said Hello. And I'd have turned to the hussy lady and smiled and said "Hello, I'm Frank (real name), a close friend of Ron's." I'd be tempted to say Ron and Judy's, but I'd be hoping the slu... um, the lady would reciprocate and give me her name.......so I could tell it to Judy.

Truthfully, I wouldn't tell Judy.....unless Ron didn't. He knew I saw them, so he'd want to tell Judy before I did. But like I said, if he didn't then he's an arse and no friend of mine.
Click to expand...
Why the name calling reserved for the woman, and not Ron?
Seems rather unfair.
 
officerripley said:
As to the derogatory names for the other gal with Ron, I admit that it may not be likely but it is possible that she might not have even known he was married. Now if you're thinking to yourself, "Aw, cmon; in this day and age with google and all; she had to have known he was married." True, but: some of these guys use the tactics my dad used, 1) my wife and I are still legally married but separated, 2) my wife and I are soon to be separated, 3) Although I long to be not only separated but divorced from my wife, I dare not do so because of the children [yeah, right], yadda yadda.
Click to expand...
Yes, I was harsh on her. Jokingly.
 
LadyEmeraude said:
True scenario for me about 15 years ago and what I did.

I am out to dinner at a new restaurant with my partner at that time.

He says to me: "Isn't that your friend Judy's (name changed)' husband?"

Me: " as I look to where he is asking me to look, and I reply yes, that is
Ron (name changed).

Anyway Ron and this woman were at the moment exchanging what
seemed to be a warm passionate kiss on their mouths.

What did I do? I was unsure of the situation at that moment, I did
not go over and say hello, I am not certain if he even saw me anyway.
Shortly thereafter Ron and said woman, got up and paid their bill, then
left the restaurant.

So who was this woman, would you have said anything to him or to
your friend Judy about what you saw?

The end.

Comments welcomed...
Click to expand...
does shoot the messenger ring a bell?
 
I would tell someone about that for one good reason: People who cheat can bring STD's home to their spouses - including AIDS.
Not much different than seeing someone spike your friend's drink & not telling them.
If a friend kept that information from me, I wouldn't consider them a friend - any longer.
If they want to "Slay The Messenger" they weren't much of a friend to begin with; they'd be an ungrateful slob.
 
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The whole point of this post changed for me after I read "hussy" and "slu*", referring to the woman in question. I agree with others that the woman probably didn't know he was married or he was at least separated. After all, he did take her to a public restaurant like he had nothing to hide. He didn't meet her secretly at a motel or something. I'd say he's the "slu*".

Would I tell the wife? Actually, I would present this same scenario to her, pretending it's about someone else. Whatever her answer was would tell me what I should do.
 
That happened to me a long time ago when I was in my twenties and very naive; I went to a conference in another city. I saw my boss walking down the street toward me (he's married) and I waved to him and greeted him. When he stopped briefly, I noticed behind him stood a young attractive woman. I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to pass us; instead, she stood to the side, her head lowered. There was no introduction, and I left. I was wondering who she was. Afterward, I realized what was going on and felt a little angry. My respect for my boss ended there. I always wondered if his wife knew.
 
If your relationship Is such that you would have said 'hello' to Ron if he were eating alone; I would have said hi. You can assume anything you want, but there is no need to act as judge and jury. Unless the subject comes up, I also don't see a need to advertise the encounter.
 
Remember the Betty Broderick Story? True!

No one thought she'd lose her mind like she did when she found out her husband was cheating with his much younger assistant. He was a lawyer and Betty was the super wife, super mom who was well liked in the community. She did everything for him and the kids during his long years of work and part time law school.

When she found out, the pain of the betrayal set her off on a course no one would ever think of. He moved out and he and the assistant began living together. Betty harassed the hell out of him. Left filthy, crazy and numerous phone messages. Even the kids were getting upset with her. He ultimately married the assistant.

Finally she bought a gun, went to his house with the key her gave to his daughter, found them asleep and shot them both to death.

No one really knows how someone will react to a devastating thing like this. That is why I'm against telling her.
 

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