Well, sometimes it's only 1 person who knows the truth regarding the marriage...
Scenario: Would you tell your friend? read below.
- Thread starter LadyEmeraude
- Start date
Well, sometimes it's only 1 person who knows the truth regarding the marriage...
It's possible that your friend was angry that you knew what was happening & didn't tell her, as opposed to angry for giving her the information.
From the original post: Anyway Ron and this woman were at the moment exchanging what seemed to be a warm passionate kiss on their mouths.
If my husband kissed my neighbor in this manner, I would not consider it an "acquaintanceship".
Indiana Joe
Member
- Location
- Indiana, USA
You totally misread what I said. I was speaking of the observer of the incident and their relationship to the man's - "cheaters" - wife.
No I did not misread. The man was passionately kissing this woman. To any observer it would not appear to be a neighborly acquaintance.
Indiana Joe
Member
- Location
- Indiana, USA
True. But the observer has no idea as to the why of it all.
OneEyedDiva
SF VIP
- Location
- New Jersey
Amazing! I was thinking about posting a similar question today after thinking about a friend who had a cheating husband. I never got to meet him; he died before we became friends, but I heard the stories. Sad part is that she put her husband on a pedestal and a relative who told me about his cheating felt he was a "good man" because he took good care of his family.
Anyway, to answer the question...I would keep my mouth shut. Friendships have been broken because of it. Sometimes the spouse already suspects but doesn't want to face it. Sometimes the spouse is clueless, so much so that he/she wouldn't believe the report anyway. I remember being very surprised to find out that my grandmother, a no nonsense woman, kept quiet about Aunt Bert, her baby brother's wife having an affair. It ended badly and my grand uncle found out anyway. Aunt Bert's lover shot her dead on the street as she was coming out of a store.
Anyway, to answer the question...I would keep my mouth shut. Friendships have been broken because of it. Sometimes the spouse already suspects but doesn't want to face it. Sometimes the spouse is clueless, so much so that he/she wouldn't believe the report anyway. I remember being very surprised to find out that my grandmother, a no nonsense woman, kept quiet about Aunt Bert, her baby brother's wife having an affair. It ended badly and my grand uncle found out anyway. Aunt Bert's lover shot her dead on the street as she was coming out of a store.
Indiana Joe
Member
- Location
- Indiana, USA
What you might think as being *right* does not make it *right* in the eye of another beholder. This *Right* stuff today entails allowing pedophiles into the classrooms of children, and nonsense such as a man is a woman if he believes he is.
C'mon!
Indiana Joe
Member
- Location
- Indiana, USA
Oh, yeah, I just luv Bingos!Bingo!
I think you really need to know a situation before you say anything. Does the wife suspect but choose to turn a blind eye for reasons of her own? Are there children at home? Is it possible this is a fling that will burn out soon and never be repeated?
I had a good friend who was in a loving marriage with two small children. She went on a vacation with her sister and had a two night affair with a man she met there. She was horribly sorry and regretful, she told me about it and she saw her priest and told him.
We both advised her to put the whole incident behind her, and never mention it again, but she couldn't live with the guilt so she confessed to her husband. He was heartbroken, and although he forgave her and the marriage continued, I always felt she had unburdened herself at the expense of his contentment and happiness.
No, I wouldn't tell.
I had a good friend who was in a loving marriage with two small children. She went on a vacation with her sister and had a two night affair with a man she met there. She was horribly sorry and regretful, she told me about it and she saw her priest and told him.
We both advised her to put the whole incident behind her, and never mention it again, but she couldn't live with the guilt so she confessed to her husband. He was heartbroken, and although he forgave her and the marriage continued, I always felt she had unburdened herself at the expense of his contentment and happiness.
No, I wouldn't tell.
Obviously, your definition of what's "right" is asinine.
ROFLOL - "She was horribly sorry and regretful."
On which of the 2 nights did the sorrow & regret happen? Before, during, or after?
Obviously, your friend lacks class, character & can't be trusted.
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Uh, yeah. "Put the whole incident behind her & never mention it again."
Until her next vacation...........and the next........and the next.......
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LadyEmeraude
Senior Member
I just got home from work (long shift today as it turned out) I have just
read every single post from you all. Thanks for your thoughts and input
on this. Actually since that incident those years ago, I at times wondered
did I do the best thing in not sharing about it to my friend, Or did I do the
very worst thing.
Basically this was a friend but not a really close friend, still though a friend of
three years. She always spoke well of her husband, she never made any references
to problems in their marriage, not that she should have, she just never did.
Judy and Ron divorced two years ago, she only shared that he was not who she
thought he was, and they mutually thought it best to part ways. They have two
children. She has not remarried, Ron has remarried.
To this day, I have chosen to never say a word about what I observed that day,
perhaps next time I happen to be privy to a similar thing, I will find a way to
share after giving it good thought for a while.
read every single post from you all. Thanks for your thoughts and input
on this. Actually since that incident those years ago, I at times wondered
did I do the best thing in not sharing about it to my friend, Or did I do the
very worst thing.
Basically this was a friend but not a really close friend, still though a friend of
three years. She always spoke well of her husband, she never made any references
to problems in their marriage, not that she should have, she just never did.
Judy and Ron divorced two years ago, she only shared that he was not who she
thought he was, and they mutually thought it best to part ways. They have two
children. She has not remarried, Ron has remarried.
To this day, I have chosen to never say a word about what I observed that day,
perhaps next time I happen to be privy to a similar thing, I will find a way to
share after giving it good thought for a while.
Indiana Joe
Member
- Location
- Indiana, USA
Shalimar said:Look up history, kiddo. Men cheat. It's in the bone marrow. I'm sure your mamma explained that to you. You should have listened to your mamma instead of thinking you knew it all.
"Oh my, what an odd perspective. Most of my clients are male, I doubt 15% would agree with you. Of those that did, the majority would have substance abuse problems, or deep seated misogyny, or both"
Anybody who read my post and can't figure out it was a joke and answered it in anger with pus leaking from their ears has a real problem. They are filled with angry hate, pursuing an agenda of emotional destruction perpetrated by the anti-male agenda which has been growing insanely for the past decades.
And to accuse anyone who disagrees with them of having "substance abuse problems, or a deep seated misogyny, or both" has shown their dark agenda has destroyed their judgement and decency of behavior.
It is absolutely incredible to me the amount of hate needed to twist one's judgement of my post and see it as anything other than a joke. (I keep trying to avoid the angry ones, but they do hide very well until...)
Your 'jokes' are caustic
Keep posting as you have, you won't do well here
JaniceM
Well-known Member
- Location
- still lost between two shores..
Thank you, Gary.
Indiana Joe
Member
- Location
- Indiana, USA
As far as I'm concerned, you did the right thing. Whether out of consternation or judgement. Why open yourself and your family to what could be a remorseful ending when some 200 lb guy - the cheating husband - comes pounding on your door after finding out the source of the tattle tale.
I said it in a previous post on this subject and I'll say it again: NOBODY knows what the heck is going on in another marriage except the two married ones themselves. The possibilities are varied and many.
Jules
SF VIP
It would be easy to video the interaction nowadays. Not sure that I’d do anything with it. Maybe there’d be a reason to give it to the wife later. Or maybe just delete it. Honestly I have no clue if there’s a reasonable answer.
An honest friend is a true friend.
Pecos
Well-known Member
- Location
- Washington State
Don’t ever try to make it as a comedian because you are not one bit funny.
OK, cheesy movie plot:
It turns out that the man had an identical twin brother, and the fellow in the restaurant, who was kissing his own wife or girlfriend was not who Lady Emeraude thought he was at all. But by the time she discovered this, she had played the part of moral policewoman and butted into something that was none of her business, and managed to destroy her friend's marriage.
Nah, Hollywood wouldn't go for it. Too hackneyed. Maybe back in the 1930's?
It turns out that the man had an identical twin brother, and the fellow in the restaurant, who was kissing his own wife or girlfriend was not who Lady Emeraude thought he was at all. But by the time she discovered this, she had played the part of moral policewoman and butted into something that was none of her business, and managed to destroy her friend's marriage.
Nah, Hollywood wouldn't go for it. Too hackneyed. Maybe back in the 1930's?
Knight
Well-known Member
I don't think anyone asked this.
Is your friend still married? What do you know if anything how her life has been since what you describe took place 15 years ago.