Senile Seniors

I

imp

Senior Member
I have been told I am senile. I reacted with anger first, amusement second, after considering the source of this razzle-dazzle.

I am considering starting a forum of my own, calling it, perhaps, SenileSeniors.com.

What do you think of that? imp
 

imp said:
Come on, Karen! "Fess up what would you have said, had Linda not replied? Huh? Huh? Hit the old imp up! imp
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Well, let's see..I would have said Imp...I applaud you for finding your sense of humor..my late father told me if we learn to laugh at ourselves we'll never run out of material :bigwink:
 
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Two elderly people are living in a retirement home near Fareham, he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years.

One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse. The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes. Yes, I will!'

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?' He couldn'tremember.

Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to.

Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ' Yes' or did you say 'No'?'

He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will.' and I meant it with all my heart.'

Then she continued, 'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'
 
SERENITY

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia, have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can'tremember if I'm 89 or 98. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff In my shopping cart says, For fast relief.


THE SENILITY PRAYER:

Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.


Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!

Always Remember This: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing!!!
 
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