Senior Forum's Useless Information Exchange

[Warrigal]

Only food that never spoils: HONEY

Wrong. Honey will crystallise over time. A jar of vegemite will last a thousand years.
Of course that could be because no-one ever wants to open the jar.

 

[Pappy]

@Pappy, is that your puppy? It’s so adorable.

No, but I wish it was. I have lots of dog photos and this is one. I’m partial to small dogs.

 

[Patch]

Raw sewage is a great equalizer. The undigested corn and lettuce, the used condoms, the used tampons, and the "Baby Ruths" that float by have no identifying characteristics as to whether they originated at a multi-million dollar home or from a homeless shelter. No matter your race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. your poop still stinks!!!!
I'm sure you were just waiting in anticipation of that 'useless information' offered by someone who spent most of his 40 year career in the municipal wastewater treatment industry. :>)

 

[Granny B.]

I'm sure you were just waiting in anticipation of that 'useless information' offered by someone who spent most of his 40 year career in the municipal wastewater treatment industry. :>)

Thank you for your decades of service in this smelly rotten industry. I'm sure it was no bed of roses.

 

[Dancing_Queen]

For instance: Bananas float in water.


That's not useless information.

If ever I've got to swim between two tropical islands I will use a hand of bananas as a buoyancy aid!

I did it in the Sea of Galilee on a watermelon.

 

[Patch]

Thank you for your decades of service in this smelly rotten industry. I'm sure it was no bed of roses.

When I was in the field, it was easy to find my way to work. Just sniff the air!

If someone asks me about a historical building, hospital, school, etc. in most any town in a three state area I will just say "I know where that is! It's about a mile west and a couple miles north of the sewer plant!!" :>)

 

[Llynn]

In the days of sailing ships, cannonballs were stacked up in pyramids on brass plates called monkeys. These plates had indentations in them to hold the cannon balls in place. Brass, however, expands and contracts with the temperature and if it got cold enough, the cannon balls could fall off the pile hence the term cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

This may be a legend or "sea story" as some sources deny its veracity. But it is a popular story among sailors.

 

[Pappy]

A tribe of monkeys is called a Congress.
Guess there is something to this….

 

[Pappy]

 

[Pappy]

Ring, ring..Hello..
Is this room one, one, one, one?
No sorry, this is room eleven, eleven.
Sorry to have bothered you..
That’s okay. I had to answer the phone anyway.

 

[horseless carriage]

Spiral staircases in medieval castles are running clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.