Senior Views on Spanking - Were You Spanked, Did You Spank Your Kids?

I was never spanked as a child. My mom used a different approach. She used quilt and it worked quite well.
She knew I would cut off my arm rather than have my dad be disappointed in me.
My mom didn't even have to say wait until your dad finds out. (usually she never told him) All she had to say was how hurt and disappointed my father would be by my actions.
If it was a really bad offence she would throw in my Grandma and Grandpa as well.
I never spanked my kids but gave them a swat now and then and missed most of the time but they got the massage.
 
Ruth n Jersey said:
I was never spanked as a child. My mom used a different approach. She used quilt and it worked quite well.
She knew I would cut off my arm rather than have my dad be disappointed in me.
My mom didn't even have to say wait until your dad finds out. (usually she never told him) All she had to say was how hurt and disappointed my father would be by my actions.
If it was a really bad offence she would throw in my Grandma and Grandpa as well.
I never spanked my kids but gave them a swat now and then and missed most of the time but they got the massage.
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At first I thought you meant something about blankets.. did you meant to say GUILT instead of QUILT? :p
 

Aunt Bea said:
I was spanked a couple of times but I was a fast learner so that was all it took.

I'm not opposed to giving a small child a smack on the hand or a pop on the seat if it prevents them from getting seriously hurt in some other way.

It really depends on the situation and the kid.
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Agree. And I used to wonder about the expression "Never Hit a Child in Anger." So, you should wait till you're in a good mood?? :ROFLMAO:
 
Interesting how some people justify doing something to their child that they would be arrested for if they did it to a stranger.
Parents who spank/beat/hit or use pain to teach their kids do so out of frustration or anger. Or they get a feeling of power or control by hitting someone who is too small to hit back. They probably don't know any other way to parent.
What they're really teaching their kids is that it's acceptable to hit someone if they annoy you. And it's also OK to hit someone who's smaller & weaker.
I have posted previously about my mother. Whenever she was angry, she'd hit her kids with her hands, shoes, or a broom - the one she rode on. As a child, I was kicked out of two elementary schools for picking fights with kids who were smaller than me. I couldn't figure out why I acted that way until I got older & realized where I learned such behavior....from my mother.

When I was around 10, I vividly remember one of the happiest days of my life. I was sitting in the living room next to a marble table. My mother was doing her usual rant about how I should have never been born, etc. I said something like, "Why don't you just shut up."
She went to hit me. I waited until the last second & moved away. Her hand hit the marble table & I heard a loud crack. She let out a scream. My dad took her to the ER & they were gone the whole day. When they came back, her arm was in a cast up to her shoulder. My dad said her arm was broken in THREE places & she had surgery. She said to me, "Look what you did." I said, "No, YOU did it & it serves you right for hitting me." She tried to chase me, but the cast was heavy & my dad grabbed her & said, "You're nuts." I was thinking, "So are you for marrying her."

At 12 years old, when I was closer to her size, she hit me for the last time. I must have been really angry. I pushed her into a wall so hard the plaster cracked, then I punched her in the mouth. I got really scared when blood started pouring out of her mouth, along with 2 teeth. She screamed, "Just wait until your father gets home." I said, "I'll kill him, too." And I wasn't kidding. Well....7 years of abuse can do that.

She died 7 years ago. None of her 4 kids attended her funeral. When a woman from the mortuary called & asked, "Where is the family," we told them, "She has a pre-paid funeral." She said, "I know, but when are you coming for the service?" I told her, "We're not coming; do whatever you want with her." She said, "Oh....my.....God."

Parents who use pain to teach their kids should think about something: How do they want to be remembered? Do they want their kids to feel sorrow when they're gone, or relief?
 
Spanking rarely but it did happen for more serious stuff, like borrowing the car. NO not a beating, spanked enough to make his point and he did that. Mom used a wooden spoon, till she broke one, then the fly swatter appeared.
 
I envied my childhood peers who got spanked and thought it preferable to the constant criticism and verbal harassment that I received. Emotional abuse from my mother did permanent damage.
 
Em in Ohio said:
I envied my childhood peers who got spanked and thought it preferable to the constant criticism and verbal harassment that I received. Emotional abuse from my mother did permanent damage.
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Both do serious damage to a child's self esteem & that carries into adulthood. I saw that in myself, my brother & my sister. Easy to figure out why. In a child's mind, "I must be a horrible child to make my parents treat me so badly."
 
win231 said:
Both do serious damage to a child's self esteem & that carries into adulthood. I saw that in myself, my brother & my sister. Easy to figure out why. In a child's mind, "I must be a horrible child to make my parents treat me so badly."
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And too often it's nothing more than a "power trip" by individuals who are (using term from old Dragnet episode on this topic) "emotionally immature."
Quoting one abusive mother: "I've gotta show her who's boss!" and another: "Ya gotta make 'em afraid!" And if anyone thinks we're all living in the 21st century, in one state the schools are allowed to beat on children with boards that look like sawed-off 2x4's if a kid dares to address a staff member as Mr. or Mrs. instead of "Ma'am" or "Sir.' :mad:
 
Darn right we got spanked when we were kids!!. with the back of a hair brush most times.. Put a stop to what we were doing.. like throwing magnitiazed darts at the bathroom metal cabinet which left marks on the ,metal white cabinet,!!, o_O
 
This is funny....I remember when my younger brother was a "Rascal".....He was the last born in our family....
I remember Mom running around the table to try to swat my brother's behind....She never got him....
Then they would both laugh...

My Mom and Dad never hit me....They would just send me up to my room if I was sassy......
 
win231 said:
Interesting how some people justify doing something to their child that they would be arrested for if they did it to a stranger.
Parents who spank/beat/hit or use pain to teach their kids do so out of frustration or anger. Or they get a feeling of power or control by hitting someone who is too small to hit back. They probably don't know any other way to parent.
What they're really teaching their kids is that it's acceptable to hit someone if they annoy you. And it's also OK to hit someone who's smaller & weaker.
I have posted previously about my mother. Whenever she was angry, she'd hit her kids with her hands, shoes, or a broom - the one she rode on. As a child, I was kicked out of two elementary schools for picking fights with kids who were smaller than me. I couldn't figure out why I acted that way until I got older & realized where I learned such behavior....from my mother.

When I was around 10, I vividly remember one of the happiest days of my life. I was sitting in the living room next to a marble table. My mother was doing her usual rant about how I should have never been born, etc. I said something like, "Why don't you just shut up."
She went to hit me. I waited until the last second & moved away. Her hand hit the marble table & I heard a loud crack. She let out a scream. My dad took her to the ER & they were gone the whole day. When they came back, her arm was in a cast up to her shoulder. My dad said her arm was broken in THREE places & she had surgery. She said to me, "Look what you did." I said, "No, YOU did it & it serves you right for hitting me." She tried to chase me, but the cast was heavy & my dad grabbed her & said, "You're nuts." I was thinking, "So are you for marrying her."

At 12 years old, when I was closer to her size, she hit me for the last time. I must have been really angry. I pushed her into a wall so hard the plaster cracked, then I punched her in the mouth. I got really scared when blood started pouring out of her mouth, along with 2 teeth. She screamed, "Just wait until your father gets home." I said, "I'll kill him, too." And I wasn't kidding. Well....7 years of abuse can do that.

She died 7 years ago. None of her 4 kids attended her funeral. When a woman from the mortuary called & asked, "Where is the family," we told them, "She has a pre-paid funeral." She said, "I know, but when are you coming for the service?" I told her, "We're not coming; do whatever you want with her." She said, "Oh....my.....God."

Parents who use pain to teach their kids should think about something: How do they want to be remembered? Do they want their kids to feel sorrow when they're gone, or relief?
Click to expand...
My mother once said to me she wished I was like other elderly woman's daughters who behaved more lovingly towards them, I said, perhaps they had mothers who did not beat them.
 
Em in Ohio said:
I envied my childhood peers who got spanked and thought it preferable to the constant criticism and verbal harassment that I received. Emotional abuse from my mother did permanent damage.
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I had every type.
win231 said:
Easy to figure out why. In a child's mind, "I must be a horrible child to make my parents treat me so badly."
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Exactly and no amount of therapy erases this feeling.
win231 said:
She went to hit me. I waited until the last second & moved away. Her hand hit the marble table & I heard a loud crack. She let out a scream. My dad took her to the ER & they were gone the whole day. When they came back, her arm was in a cast up to her shoulder. My dad said her arm was broken in THREE places & she had surgery. She said to me, "Look what you did."
Click to expand...

My parents were both brutal. They both had severe undiagnosed mental disorders ( didn’t have to be a doctor to figure this out so don’t even go there with me ) and would support and enable each other in their sadistic abuse. My father was built like an ox. He’d strip off my clothes and hit me so hard. Once he broke his hand in three places and had to get a cast up to his elbow. Once back from the hospital I was blamed.

Sure the body heals within time and the pain goes away but the ‘mental‘ scars never do. Some of the mental damage caused , stays with you to haunt you forever.
 
Seems that the responses here are colored by individual personal experiences. There is a great difference in a spanking and a beating. Sometimes a swat will get a child's attention but that does not mean you beat them into submission. My sons had their hands swatted if they were reaching for fire; it let them know that I seriously meant "NO." They have grown up to be respectful and responsible, loving men. I don't feel badly about using an occasional swat and I believe there are many children nowadays that could definitely benefit from it.

The most important things to remember about raising a child are to listen to them, let them know you love them, and don't make empty threats.
 
Keesha said:
I had every type.
Exactly and no amount of therapy erases this feeling.


My parents were both brutal. They both had severe undiagnosed mental disorders ( didn’t have to be a doctor to figure this out so don’t even go there with me ) and would support and enable each other in their sadistic abuse. My father was built like an ox. He’d strip off my clothes and hit me so hard. Once he broke his hand in three places and had to get a cast up to his elbow. Once back from the hospital I was blamed.

Sure the body heals within time and the pain goes away but the ‘mental‘ scars never do. Some of the mental damage caused , stays with you to haunt you forever.
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He would strip your clothes off you? Beat you when you were naked? How old were you? What did he hit you with?
 
C'est Moi said:
Seems that the responses here are colored by individual personal experiences. There is a great difference in a spanking and a beating. Sometimes a swat will get a child's attention but that does not mean you beat them into submission. My sons had their hands swatted if they were reaching for fire; it let them know that I seriously meant "NO." They have grown up to be respectful and responsible, loving men. I don't feel badly about using an occasional swat and I believe there are many children nowadays that could definitely benefit from it.

The most important things to remember about raising a child are to listen to them, let them know you love them, and don't make empty threats.
Click to expand...
Agreeing with all the points you made here.
However, too many don't use that word to refer to a slap or swat to get a child's attention or similar, they're talking about using actual 'weapons' against children like straps, belts, boards, etc. It's absolutely outrageous the way some individuals treat kids- and then claim they 'only spanked' the kids.
 
JaniceM said:
Agreeing with all the points you made here.
However, too many don't use that word to refer to a slap or swat to get a child's attention or similar, they're talking about using actual 'weapons' against children like straps, belts, boards, etc. It's absolutely outrageous the way some individuals treat kids- and then claim they 'only spanked' the kids.
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My mother was raised during the depression and such abuse was acceptable then. Few carried it to the next generation, she is one of the ones who did.
 
C'est Moi said:
...The most important things to remember about raising a child are to listen to them, let them know you love them, and don't make empty threats.
Click to expand...
You hit the nail on the head with this line! Discipline of any kind is needed far less if folks just followed this one line of advice! "If you don't stop that, I will..." "The next time you do that, I'll..." and on and on. Then, you see no follow-through - and the child has learned how to ignore and manipulate you. No consequences, no point. Sad.
 
JaniceM said:
And too often it's nothing more than a "power trip" by individuals who are (using term from old Dragnet episode on this topic) "emotionally immature."
Quoting one abusive mother: "I've gotta show her who's boss!" and another: "Ya gotta make 'em afraid!" And if anyone thinks we're all living in the 21st century, in one state the schools are allowed to beat on children with boards that look like sawed-off 2x4's if a kid dares to address a staff member as Mr. or Mrs. instead of "Ma'am" or "Sir.' :mad:
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Another popular excuse frequently used by some "parents" is: "If I don't raise 'em right, they'll grow up to be criminals, drug dealers, drug addicts, etc." They are really stupid; many kids who were hit grow up to be exactly that. They have low self esteem & a lot of rage.

I was watching an interview with Jeffrey Dahmer's father on "60 Minutes" (after Jeffrey was beaten to death in prison). The reporter asked him if there was anything in his son's upbringing that might have contributed to his son's violent & perverted behavior.
His father said, "Oh, no. Whenever Jeffrey misbehaved, I spanked him real good."

I don't know what state allows beating school children, but if that happened to any kids of mine, the next day's headlines would read something like: "Teacher found dead with 2x4 in his throat & large bullet in his head. Father arrested.
 

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