Shocking news

Butterfly

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 19, 2014
Location
Albuquerque, New Mexico USA
Thank you Diva

Age is irrelevant IMO I’m 73 I dance ( ballroom ) twice a week and I’m along with my husband one of the youngest ones at the dance the oldest is a married couple who are 95 and 96 and still dancing very well


My friend I’ve mentioned is like a sister to me , ( most of us care for our close friends ) her and her hubby did quite a bit of walking /hiking / climbing mountains
Jack ( Pats late husband ) died two days after being told by the dr
he had 20 years left in him he was so fit ..he sudden death was put down as being caused by cholesterol tablets

I sent a text to Pat as I was told by her sister she had her phone with her ..she sent a message back this morning .My message simply said ....Thinking of you dear friend ....She replied ...Thank you for caring
Ill think about sending another telling her I’d love to call her if she feels up to chatting for a short while

We used to call one another about every 3 months or so and neither of us ever forgot each other’s birthdays

I think you are doing the right thing, Kadee.
 

Kadee46

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Location
South Australia
Original Poster
Pats sister Silvia contacted me to say Pat’s not very good at all
 

jujube

Well-known member
It doesn't get any easier no matter what the age is. I'm dealing with this with my oldest friend whose husband has maybe 6 months to live. He's 72. It's a young age to go. He should have had many many yet to live.

I just try to be there when she wants to vent. He's concerned more about her than about himself. He needs to vent, too.
 

StarSong

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 26, 2017
Location
Los Angeles

I sent a text to Pat as I was told by her sister she had her phone with her ..she sent a message back this morning .My message simply said ....Thinking of you dear friend ....She replied ...Thank you for caring
Ill think about sending another telling her I’d love to call her if she feels up to chatting for a short while
Kadee, I'm so sorry to learn of your friend's illness. It's absolutely wrenching to say a permanent goodbye to a loved one, or to know that one is coming soon.

Texting your friend is such a considerate way to initiate contact. You broke the ice, showed how much you care, and are allowing her to dictate how much and what sort of contact she's up to.

I wish you and your friend well.
 

Citygirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2016
Location
Pa.
Kadee: I'm so very sorry this is happening to you. At least the lines of communication have been established. I wish the best for the both of you {{{HUGS}}}
 

911

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 12, 2014
Location
USA
I had a friend die pretty much in the same manner. He was 62 and we all thought that he was in good health. He really liked basketball and I was able to get my hands on a couple of tickets to a Villanova game the next night. I called him and he said he wasn't feeling well and that I should ask someone else. A few days later, I get a phone call from another friend and he asked me if I heard about Donnie? I said "No, why?" He said that he's in the hospital, but doesn't know why.

As soon as I hung up the phone, I jumped in the car and drove to the hospital to see him. The nurse tells me no visitors allowed. I asked if he had a contagious disease. She tells me that she can't give out any information and to see his doctor so and so. I didn't know the doctor. So, I just wandered around the hospital and waited until his girlfriend showed up. I could tell that she had been crying. I asked her what was going on. She asked for my confidentiality and I agreed. She said that Donnie has Lymphoma and is dying. You could have pushed me over with one finger. Three weeks later, he was dead.

I sang the song, "I Can Only Imagine" at his funeral.
 

Kadee46

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Location
South Australia
Original Poster
Sad 911 we just never know when our time is up ,We lost a friend 5 years ago from Lymphoma he thought he’d beat it after 12 months but it came back with aggression so they tried a new drug and gave him max of 6 months .

He passed away 2 weeks after at 69 He was hubbies best friend .
My husband was so upset he had to go on antidepressants for over a year.
 

Happyflowerlady

Vagabond Flowerchild
Joined
Apr 11, 2013
Location
Northern Alabama
I am also glad that you were able to make contact with your dear friend, Kaydee, and I am sure that it meant a lot to her, too.
I think that if I were faced with that kind of news, and knew I only had a short time to live, my thoughts would be centered on the people that I love, and that I might never see them again in my life.
When I had the heart procedure, and was so sick, I didn’t know if I would survive the operation, and just having my daughter there with me really made a big difference to me, and knowing that if I didn’t wake up afterwards, at least she (whom I love more than anyone on this earth) was the last thing that I saw.
Even if you are unable to go and comfort your friend in person, I am sure that it is blessing her heart just to be hearing from you and knowing how much you care for her.

Sending you virtual hugs to comfort you also in this sad time, Kaydee.
 

911

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 12, 2014
Location
USA
I have been giving this post some additional thought. I am glad that you at least had the opportunity to speak with your friend. Losing someone we love or enjoy just being with is tragic to some of us.

This morning, I received a call from one of my not real close friends, but he wanted me to know that a fellow we both know and who had renal cancer maybe 4 or 5 years ago and was told he was cancer free, is right now under the knife again. He was having headaches for several days and went to the doctors. An x-ray or an MRI showed two spots on his brain. Instead of waiting and due to his past history, they decided to go after the tumors immediately.

I didn’t even get the chance to wish him well. Supposedly, this will be a 6-8 hour surgery. How does a doctor stay composed and focused for that period of time? I know there are separate teams involved, but still, that’s a long time to stay focused on the job at hand, especially considering the area of the body that’s being worked on.

I think doctors are under paid when I look at how much movie, TV and music people earn.
 

Lara

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 4, 2015
Location
North Carolina
...We were very shocked to hear the news of our friends condition she has about a month to live
Now I want advice do I phone our friend? I’m so shocked I don’t really know what to say if I phone her.
I would tell her what you've told us and add what you said below. This:

Kadee said:
...but I’m thinking of happy times we spent together traveling around Australia in our caravan in 2004 .2005
We met in 2004 at a free camp spot in Western Aust ( we spent almost 12 months together ) we have stayed in touch and also visited one another in our caravans on two occasions in the years since we decided to get another home built in South Australia....Loosing you, my dear friend, is just not fair
Then add a positive thought, "...but you will be leaving me a precious present of good memories we've shared over the years". Be specific as you share some memories with her. That's what she wants to hear right now. All about what she meant to you, how her life was full of fun and friendship. What was it about her that made you like her enough to want to be her friend? That will make her feel like her life was worthwhile and fulfilled. That's what she wants to hear.
 

Kadee46

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Location
South Australia
Original Poster
Thank you Lara I’d do exactly that ,and I’d tell her we still have Dfor ...when we parted after traveling together her and jack gave us a little stuffed dog to look after us while traveling in the van ,we still have it sitting on a shelf right by the door looking out for us.
 

Keesha

Playful Scamp
Joined
Mar 28, 2018
Location
Canada
I would tell her what you've told us and add what you said below. This:


Then add a positive thought, "...but you will be leaving me a precious present of good memories we've shared over the years". Be specific as you share some memories with her. That's what she wants to hear right now. All about what she meant to you, how her life was full of fun and friendship. What was it about her that made you like her enough to want to be her friend? That will make her feel like her life was worthwhile and fulfilled. That's what she wants to hear.
Thank you Lara I’d do exactly that ,and I’d tell her we still have Dfor ...when we parted after traveling together her and jack gave us a little stuffed dog to look after us while traveling in the van ,we still have it sitting on a shelf right by the door looking out for us.
So beautiful :heart:
 

WhatInThe

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 29, 2013
Kadee,

Sorry to hear about your friend. It sounded sudden. I'd just make contact even if with just a get well or greeting card. At least they'll know you were thinking about them. Leave a small footnote offering to speak, call or email anytime they want.

That being said not knowing all the facts it sounded like she lived a relatively healthy life until now perhaps not becoming the professional patient the medical industry wants us to be. I'd rather know/see my fate play out in a short period of time rather go through all the stuff the medical industry puts the patients through over the course of time much of which is better spent just living.

Best wishes to your friend and yourself.
 

Kadee46

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Location
South Australia
Original Poster
Thank you to all for your love and support.

I’ve spoken to Pat today she is really battling to breathe and talk so we both made it brief ,at least we got to say bye.

Pat’s sister phoned me then put Pat on , Silva then told us Pat has a week, her wish was to die at home where she is now
On her 5 acres of her home / land where we spent a wonderful month with them after we’d parted company

Im happy at least we both got to say our last bye bye to a dear friend ..at least we have some wonderful memories
of both Pat and her late hubby Jack
 

hypochondriac

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 27, 2019
Location
Australia
We had a phone call last night from a dear friends sister saying our friend had visited her doctor because of bad heartburn ,her dr must have suspected something was up because he ordered a urgent endoscopy this was just a month ago ..
Our friend was found to have cancer of the stomach that’s not able or not worth operating on due to her condition.

We was very shocked to hear the news of our friends condition she has about a month to live
He husband died suddenly about two years ago at 69, Pat is 72 now They we’re both fairly fit active people

Now I want advice do I phone our friend? I’m so shocked I don’t really know what to say if I phone her.

She’s in hospital until she passes ,she lives in Queensland approx 3000 km from me

I’m trying to think of happy times we spent together traveling around Australia in our caravan in 2004 .2005
We met them in 2004 at a free camp spot in Western Aust ( we spent almost 12 months together ) we have stayed in touch and also visited one another in our caravans on two occasions in the years since we decided to get another home built in South Aust
Life is cruel as we age loosing our dear friends it just not fair
the big C . most of us will get it one day. i wonder
 

Kadee46

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Location
South Australia
Original Poster
I won’t be able to @Linda as much as we would like to it’s to far away
She was in Rockhampton in Queensland it would be about 3.000 km from where I live
I’ll just remember all the good times we had together
 

Kadee46

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Location
South Australia
Original Poster
Pats sister Sylvia phoned me this morning which we really appreciated we explained we wouldn’t be able to make it up, there for the funeral as it’s 3000 km from here https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rockhampton
I live in south Australia ..yes we could fly up, there ..I just checked flights $543 each one way ...
then we’d have to hire a car and accommodation , we are not in a position to afford expenses like that,
We will remember for both her and Jack for the great times we spent together ,we were like brothers and sisters together
Thank you to everyone for your support it’s been appreciated I’m happy at least say bye on the phone to pat last week
However it’s a very sad day for us as you can understand ..
Kay xxx
 


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