Should Dad be there at the start ?

I was alone... no family no husband... husband was at sea with the royal Navy... ! I was 57 hours in labour. I wished I'd had someone there...
 

mine was not at mine -but he is the type that when its done hes in there '' first one was winter snow was so bad he had to wait till late visiting time due to heavy snow falls --then second one he was at the airport picking up my sister from Canada then by the time he arrived he was born - never again !!!!! lol
 
My husband was there for all our children's births - our first and then our twins.

Truth is, he wouldn't have been any less bonded to our children if he'd been brought in ten minutes after the births instead of witnessing them, but he did find it interesting to see them born.

That said, it made a huge difference for my experience of the births to have such a strong advocate for me and our babies. He saw to my needs and I was secure in the knowledge that he was clear-minded throughout and would have been able to make difficult decisions if need be.

During medical crises it's an extreme blessing to have someone at hand who you trust with your life. Over the years we've advocated for each other.
 

CeeCee said:
When my kids were born it wasn’t allowed. He was with me through labor though but when they took me to delivery he wasn’t there...with no epidurals then, I didn’t much care at that point.
Had a very long and painful labor with my daughter ...close to 30 hours.
Wasnt so bad with my son but they induced him.
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Pretty much my situation also. Husbands weren't allowed in delivery room. At that point in time, I didn't know, or care, who was there!
 
It seems rather trivial whether a husband is in the room at birth or not. Hopefully it is more important that he be there to support his wife and child throughout their lifetime. It would seem that with the amount of "ex's" that are referred to here and on other sites, that isn't the case. That's far sadder than missing the arrival of of the newborn.
 
For sure Dads should be there at the start. Then if possible when the child/children are born. And until the child/children are able to live on it's own. Unforgivable to abandon a child/children that is born handicapped with no chance of ever living on it's own. Divorce doesn't mean the child doesn't exist, just means daily contact for the dad may not happen. Being there at the start is a lifetime commitment. I had the good fortune to be able to be at the hospital waiting room when our sons were born.
 
In the "old days", fathers went allowed in. But today, that's an outdated notion. So it depends on the new mom & dad. The only other reason for excluding the father is if there was an extreme medical condition of the mother, where surgery was needed. It is a dire situation, when you just don't need another body standing in the way.
 
Well..... I delivered our 1st child at home, does that count?
Was in the delivery room for the second, Dr wouldn't let me catch....
SOB didnt cut me a break either.... Delivered one of his other babies about a month earlier,
After he sent her home saying it was false labor.
 
He was there for three of the births but not the first one-neither the doc or the hospital allowed it back then (1968).Next one,same hospital,different doc,he was there. He thought he was going to have to deliver #3 as I almost gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital-labor was only 1 hour,26 minutes long. Held off til we got there though-lots of deep breaths and panting lol.
 
Pappy said:
I was there for my two boys, but I was sent home, on my daughters birth, because the stupid nurse said my wife was no where ready. No more than got home, got a call my daughter was born.
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In that nurse`s defense,sometimes it just happens. With my fourth baby,the nurse could not even feel the baby`s head-he was too far up and therefore not even close to being born. In fact,she said "I won`t even say that you are in labor because you are too relaxed." I said "OK,I`ll go home then." She answered "Oh no you won`t-not after last time when you delivered the minute you walked in the door." She was right-less than 5 minutes later,my son was in my arms lol.
 
husband was with me in the Hospital...At that time, years ago, him and my mom couldn't be with me...But stayed the whole 10 hour's in the
Hospital.… They finally got to see me and the baby, very late at night....
My husband was also with me when I was in the Hospital for my second baby...Same thing as my first....My daughter came into the world very
fast....
We both were with my daughter in law when she was having our first Grandchild....Also we were both with my daughter for her first baby....
I was with her when she had the second baby....Husband was working way up North....It was just her and me....Her hubby was a little late
cause of traffic....
 
I was there when my two children were born. Fortunately, I did not have to be at sea during either event.
My Mother-in-Law was there for the first birth (son), and that was very helpful.
 
Mrs. Robinson said:
In that nurse`s defense,sometimes it just happens. With my fourth baby,the nurse could not even feel the baby`s head-he was too far up and therefore not even close to being born. In fact,she said "I won`t even say that you are in labor because you are too relaxed." I said "OK,I`ll go home then." She answered "Oh no you won`t-not after last time when you delivered the minute you walked in the door." She was right-less than 5 minutes later,my son was in my arms lol.
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I can understand this to a certain extent, but the nurse was like she didn’t want me there, very snotty. I quote, ‘she’s just having piddly little pains. Go home.’
 
Frankly, I didn't want mine there because somehow he'd find a way to make it all about him, so I told him stay home until after the baby is born. My youngest son was there with his wife for the birth both his children. He was so mature about it. Really touched my heart.
 
Depends on what you mean by "be there." The father of my first child had "departed" before I gave birth so my Mom and Dad were both at the hospital with me. For my second and third births, the father was in the labor room and in the waiting room with my Mom and Dad. I did NOT want anyone in the birth room aside from the doctor and nurse. I still wouldn't if I had it to do all over again.
 
My Husband wanted to be present at the birth of our first baby in 1968, a boy, but he wasn't allowed to witness as I had to have forceps and with our second Son I was in labour for so long he was advised to go home and was disappointed at missing both births.
 


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