Should I feel sad

marcb

New Member
Location
UK
I'm sitting here in the sun, on my own, listening to the wind in the trees and the local traffic nearby, but with periods of silence.

Since my divorce a lot of time has been spent on my own although thankfully I have family and a few friends. I am lucky in that I own my house, apart from aches and pains I'm fit and healthy and financially stable enough to try semi-retirement.

When I sit here with a beer I think of the good times with my partner and scarily imagine she is next to me, and that gives me a warm feeling.

So should I feel sad or do I just need a good kick and be thankful.
 

Keesha

💙
Location
Canada 🇨🇦
I would think that after a divorce, you’d go through many emotions, all of which are normal. If you are thinking happy thoughts about your ex, I think it’s a good sign that you’re healing. It’s a healthy attitude. Some partners hate their partners forever and a day even with children.

Im sorry you are still feeling sad and lonely though. Breaking up is hard to do.
 

Gaer

Pursue what sets your soul on fire!
Ah, reflection. In the stillness, may your understanding come. Be thankful for all the wonders in your life, your health, your handsomeness, your retirement. your beer, your house. The trick is to enjoy your life, not waste away your days in regret. Just breathe, and know everything will be fine!
 

marcb

New Member
Location
UK
Such lovely replies and thank you so much. It's been about two years and you could say why are you sitting back, but I do understand that it will take time. Also I am fortunate that I have everything - but a partner - and I know that these sad feelings only last a little while. Maybe it's taking a bit longer to get over things and like anything there are triggers but mostly happy triggers with a hint of sadness, and I know I have to and will move on. Anyway, I'll get a second beer :)
 

MarciKS

~♥~
Location
Kansas
Such lovely replies and thank you so much. It's been about two years and you could say why are you sitting back, but I do understand that it will take time. Also I am fortunate that I have everything - but a partner - and I know that these sad feelings only last a little while. Maybe it's taking a bit longer to get over things and like anything there are triggers but mostly happy triggers with a hint of sadness, and I know I have to and will move on. Anyway, I'll get a second beer :)
It's been years for me & I still have triggers that either make me sad or make me angry. It's too bad we can't go into our brains & delete that crap like files we don't need anymore.
 

asp3

Senior Member
I generally avoid thinking about shoulds because they are usually someone else's value judgement about what we're doing or not doing. As long as you're OK with feeling what you're feeling it sounds like the right thing to do.

Some people bury or alter their feelings with alcohol. However only you will know whether that is a concern for you or not.

I've used the pleasant memories from past relationships to better understand what I enjoy in a relationship so that I can look for that in a current or future relationship.
 

MarciKS

~♥~
Location
Kansas
I generally avoid thinking about shoulds because they are usually someone else's value judgement about what we're doing or not doing. As long as you're OK with feeling what you're feeling it sounds like the right thing to do.

Some people bury or alter their feelings with alcohol. However only you will know whether that is a concern for you or not.

I've used the pleasant memories from past relationships to better understand what I enjoy in a relationship so that I can look for that in a current or future relationship.
It's difficult to find a person who has all those enjoyable qualities. So many people enjoy inflicting misery on others no matter who they are.
 

Top