Should I feel sad

Pepper

Well-known Member
Location
NYC
Give it time, you'll see. The best place to go when that happens is Women for Sobriety. Just being a friend, 'tis all. Not addressed specifically to anyone in particular.
 

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
Give it time, you'll see. The best place to go when that happens is Women for Sobriety. Just being a friend, 'tis all. Not addressed specifically to anyone in particular.
Not everyone is alike and everyone doesn't have the same experience or trajectory either unlike what sobriety groups try to make others think. But thanks for your recommendation--I pass on groups. If I ever feel I need help it will be something one on one. Don't need any help though--doing well on my own :geek: :giggle: (y)
 
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hellomimi

Namaste 🙏
Location
City of Angels
It's normal to grieve/feel sad after your divorce especially if you were married for many years. I went through it and it helped me recover quickly by avoiding any form of contact with my X, except matters pertaining to my son. It helped that I have a supportive family to lean on during the dark, uncertain days after divorce was finalized. I cried when I removed my wedding band permanently.

I suggest you work on self improvement to become your own best version. It may take baby steps but keep on moving and in due time you'll find yourself smiling again. If you're fond of writing, start journaling today. There's also a sub forum here called Diaries where you can start a thread to document your progress.

Many of us have been there, divorce doesn't define us, as a person. It makes us stronger and hopefully, better human who learned from our mistakes.
 

marcb

New Member
Location
UK
Hey all, not sure whether to respond to everyone individually (is there a protocol for that) but many thanks for all the responses. I have found that there are good days and bad days and the the best thing is to keep busy. The bad days I always get through so I'm comfortable with that.

Unfortunately, I've found this site and now I'm able to express feelings in here so everyone gets a bit, it's nice to share :)

Seriously, I do know I'm not alone in my situation and also that it's up to me to get on with it, it's best to keep motivated. I'll look at the diary forum as it might be nice to record a bit more.

Now, as far as drink goes i do take all the points made and i am very aware that it's easy to go down the slippery slope, specially since I recently stopped working plus with the lovely weather. Self control is important and I have that..I think.

Anyway thanks for all the support and comments, and I hope to give back once I get further into these great forums.
 

fancicoffee13

Member
Location
Texas
I'm sitting here in the sun, on my own, listening to the wind in the trees and the local traffic nearby, but with periods of silence.

Since my divorce a lot of time has been spent on my own although thankfully I have family and a few friends. I am lucky in that I own my house, apart from aches and pains I'm fit and healthy and financially stable enough to try semi-retirement.

When I sit here with a beer I think of the good times with my partner and scarily imagine she is next to me, and that gives me a warm feeling.

So should I feel sad or do I just need a good kick and be thankful.
Be extremely thankful for the times you two had and the good things that happened. Count the blessings and be sure to let the bad times go.
 

ronk

Member
I believe you should never feel bad about your feelings. They are your emotions. Sometimes a feeling is just natural. You were with someone for a long time. It's only natural to miss that person. However, that is the opportunity to remind yourself why you broke up the relationship. Dust yourself off and look for the future. As an aside, some people are perfectly fine maintaining a friendly contact with an ex-spouse. The key is that you are very aware that the marriage is over. But you still appreciate your "ex" for being who they are.
 

Autumn72

Rhode Island
It took 2 years plus to get over my divorce, but I'm glad he's gone. I just found this saying in my collection. It makes sense to me. Maybe you can find some meaning in it for yourself.



By the way, drinking alone when you are sad is a short trip to alcoholism. Take it easy.
So share
 

fancicoffee13

Member
Location
Texas
There is a significant amount of sadness, I experienced it anyway, because you once loved this person and now it has ended. But, there is also relief because they are not there anymore and you can now go on, do things you want to, and not go through all the stuff you did, anymore. I have been through more than one, and I felt peace. Financially, and I had to do things that were constructive that would lift my spirits and keep me moving forward. I don't like the idea of drinking, or other stuff addicting. Good family and friends are a great source of talking and accountability.
 

Lara

Well-known Member
Marc, you are so lucky to have this forum to share your feelings. I've read every comment in this thread and I have to say, I'm so impressed with all the members here who have taken their time to help and the result is tender, loving, respectful, and kind. There's wisdom, humor, heartfelt caring, sincerity, thoughtfulness, and honesty. Warm hug. You're in my prayers marc.
 

Remy

Member
Location
California, USA
I may sound dumb, but it really is OK to feel however you are feeling. As long as it's not horribly interfering with everyday life (such as someone refusing to leave the house as an example) People process things in many different ways and there is nothing wrong with that.
 


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