Should We Fear A Lonely Life? | The Age of Loneliness

seadoug said:
Interesting, and something that may resonate with some members.

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What a wonderful video! I watched most of it and saw the different people that were interviewed. I could relate to several of them and understood their loneliness. My mother has moved in with my sister at age 88, and I am glad she is with her. At the same time, my son will leave in a few months to another state and I will be alone. So this video brought up some good issues. Thanks for sharing, @seadoug!
 
oldaunt said:
Being alone, and being lonely are two very different things.
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Very good point. Is the ’feeling’ of loneliness mainly in the mind, but real to the individual all the same. And something that can be triggered by many different things for different reasons. In the past, even when on occasion depressed for long periods of time, and alone, I haven’t felt lonely. Sometimes in the past being alone has been deliberate on my part, and yet I still haven’t felt alone. I wonder sometimes if I’m immune to it, but careful to think that there might be something that may ‘trigger’ it in the futur?
 
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Myrtle said:
It has long been my thought that introverts handle being alone much better than extroverts do. Tell me why that's not true. :)
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I think that’s very true, but maybe not necessarily because they shut out the world. I think it’s a misconception that that is the case. There are ’introverts’ and introverted thinkers. Some so called introverts, I would say, are able to keep themselves company, and are happy to do so. They may find being alone rejuvenates them. Where as extroverts might find the opposite to be true.
 
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I tend to live in my head, with my thoughts and memories. As a small child I had little contact with other children and I invented a whole menagerie of little animals as companions.

Now that I am alone in our house, I talk to real animals, birds and spiders. Not long conversations mind, just friendly greetings. I'm becoming quite Fransciscan and rarely feel alone, let alone lonely.
 
Warrigal said:
I tend to live in my head, with my thoughts and memories. As a small child I had little contact with other children and I invented a whole menagerie of little animals as companions.

Now that I am alone in our house, I talk to real animals, birds and spiders. Not long conversations mind, just friendly greetings. I'm becoming quite Fransciscan and rarely feel alone, let alone lonely.
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I think some people are able to create a world inside their own head. Which might seem equally as large as the world outside of their head, and equally as fascinating.
 
this ozzie disease must be catching! - many monks and sisters throughout the world choose a 'lonely' life but it becomes rewarding as they talk to their God or spiritual mentor ; sometimes joining others in silent meal events. The whole focus is to draw closer to their God.

drawing closer to animals and friends who have passed on can be soul searching and cleansing - wot you are doing is meditating and this can be cleansing on many levels. Good idea. Try not to do it in public places though some people may not understand?
 
Myrtle said:
It has long been my thought that introverts handle being alone much better than extroverts do. Tell me why that's not true. :)
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I'm an introvert, and never minded being alone. Until recently, when I "felt lonely" for the first time in my life. I think it was because I no longer had any hope of finding true love, so I couldn't even find solace in daydreams.

It was pretty terrible for a while, but now I more or less accept it. Like anything else, it takes some adjustment.

It's too bad though. I wonder if people would have children if they knew the child would grow up to be lonely.
 
To quote Mytle's post #6: "It has long been my thought that introverts handle being alone much better than extroverts do. Tell me why that's not true."

I am an introvert and find being with people is tiring and stressful. Introverts prefer "alone time" and don't need daily social interaction.
I live in the family home with Flash, the dog - he is the perfect companion/house mate - we walk 2 to 3 miles daily ON MY SCHEDULE, he is my security (barks and body slams the door then he hear people approaching the house) and best of all he loves my cooking!!
 
Loneliness isn't about being alone; it's about not feeling connected.

That's why we can still be lonely in a crowded room or a densely populated city. If we don't connect with anyone there, we feel lonely.

That's also one reason this forum is helpful. It allows us to connect with people our own age. Even if we disagree with some things, one thing we all have in common is that we're all seniors.
 
I am a weird mixture. I am clumsy and mostly silent in real company yet can't shut up in a forum! I am an introvert and like reading my books, "talking" to others in this forum and watching favourite shows on TV. Therefore I am never bored or feeling alone during the day, yet when I go to bed I feel lonely because I can no longer hold my wife!
 
I am by myself most of the time. I know that by looking ahead, I would rather have someone with me, even a companion would do. I don’t need to be married, but with the right woman, maybe. I have been out on a date with a woman who lost her husband a few years ago and I thought things went well. She’s a personal secretary for a U.S. Senator, but at this time in our relationship, she doesn’t want to tell me who. To tell you the truth, I really don’t care.

We are having a date this Saturday night and I have been wondering if it’s too early in our relationship to buy her a small gift. Nothing-expensive, but no junk either. I can tell she has some sophistication about her, so if I give her something, I need to chose wisely. I noticed she carries one of those very small bags with the long chains with her that only hold her lipstick and maybe some facial cream. I can tell it’s a Gucci by the colors, so she’a a woman of taste.

So, I may as well just ask you ladies, what do you think? I think it’s too early for jewelry, she doesn’t like candy, so that leaves maybe flowers or a nice spring sweater? I guess maybe clothing is out also? I’m not experienced at doing this, so what do you think?
 
Been There said:
So, I may as well just ask you ladies, what do you think? I think it’s too early for jewelry, she doesn’t like candy, so that leaves maybe flowers or a nice spring sweater? I guess maybe clothing is out also? I’m not experienced at doing this, so what do you think?
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Slow down. Flowers are the only acceptable thing on this list.
 

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