So, how's your outlook on life? Positive? Negative?

Autumn said:
Neither positive nor negative...I'd say I have a pragmatic outlook...dealing with things sensibly and realistically.
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Sounds a bit like me. I don't try to be either way. If something, any ol' thing, happens in the day that gives me a smile, well great. I don't deliberately give thought about my daily living, it just is what it is....EXCEPT that my full body Essential Tremor shaking is one of those "it is what it is" things that doesn't fit in the mold of not giving thought to what goes on in my daily living. :)
 
I try to dwell on things that I like thinking about. A person can’t change the past, is busy in the present and the future is unknowable.

so why not try to make the present as enjoyable as possible?
 

Jim W. said:
I have always been a positive and optimistic person, even though I didn't have a lot of reasons to be, at least in the sense that most people think of reasons to be happy.

But I was always basically on the happy side of neutral.

Up until recently....

A couple of months ago, my mind started dwelling on some things that happened (and some things that didn't happen) a long, long time ago. Mistakes and bad decisions I made, bad timing, etc, etc. Seeing people I knew seem to effortlessly succeed at both personal relationships and occupational endeavors, while everything I attempted I seemed to be stymied. Sometimes by conditions beyond my control, like a congenital disorder that blocked me from certain occupations, etc,

Now, for the past few weeks, I've been feeling lonely, sad and depressed.

I have nobody in my life and every day is just a lonely repeat of the previous one. I've been getting outside and walking for exercise every day which helps a bit. Found out after weighing myself on a public scale the other day, that I've lost about 20 lbs or so. Could stand to lose some more, so I'll keep at that.

After the beginning of the new year, after I take care of some other business and after a vaccine for this COVID business becomes available, I might look into joining a local chapter of a nationwide community service group that meets once per week. Get involved and maybe make some new friends.

I've never been suicidal and I highly doubt I'd ever get to that point. But I will admit that lately, the thought of passing away earlier than I had planned, doesn't seem like such a bad thing and possibly even a relief.

I hope this wasn't too maudlin or self-pitying as I am not that kind of person.
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Jim W. said:
I have always been a positive and optimistic person, even though I didn't have a lot of reasons to be, at least in the sense that most people think of reasons to be happy.

But I was always basically on the happy side of neutral.

Up until recently....

A couple of months ago, my mind started dwelling on some things that happened (and some things that didn't happen) a long, long time ago. Mistakes and bad decisions I made, bad timing, etc, etc. Seeing people I knew seem to effortlessly succeed at both personal relationships and occupational endeavors, while everything I attempted I seemed to be stymied. Sometimes by conditions beyond my control, like a congenital disorder that blocked me from certain occupations, etc,

Now, for the past few weeks, I've been feeling lonely, sad and depressed.

I have nobody in my life and every day is just a lonely repeat of the previous one. I've been getting outside and walking for exercise every day which helps a bit. Found out after weighing myself on a public scale the other day, that I've lost about 20 lbs or so. Could stand to lose some more, so I'll keep at that.

After the beginning of the new year, after I take care of some other business and after a vaccine for this COVID business becomes available, I might look into joining a local chapter of a nationwide community service group that meets once per week. Get involved and maybe make some new friends.

I've never been suicidal and I highly doubt I'd ever get to that point. But I will admit that lately, the thought of passing away earlier than I had planned, doesn't seem like such a bad thing and possibly even a relief.

I hope this wasn't too maudlin or self-pitying as I am not that kind of person.
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Jim,

You've got friends here. You may not know use, couldn't recognize us in a crowd, (except for Pinky & Holly) but if we can provide any support or just want to talk....there are many here that would listen (read). This is the place.
Sometimes its just good to talk things out with somebody, other times you are just too close to it and you can't see the forrest for all those trees, again its good to talk it out and get another view point.
So, although Im not on here all the time I check it often. If you just need someone to talk it out...sign me up.
 
😉 Jim, you've brought to my mind a thought I've had about people who develop physical, mental,
emotional miseries, whatever, as they grow elderly. But their awful suffering can give those of them who fear death reverse thinking on it. They begin to see death as erasing the goodness in themselves, a goodness that they can teach others. I see only one thing I've done to be proud of in my life (other than birthing three great children :) ) Just an ordinary non-skilled person. Sometimes in the middle of the night I wake up & while trying to get back to sleep, irritated, my mind starts to think on past unpleasantness. I feel crabby not being able to fall back to sleep because lack of sleep will make the next day rough to do anything. But I tell myself to shutup and think good thoughts.. I still may not fall back to sleep, but I feel emotionally better.
 
Elsie said:
😉 Jim, you've brought to my mind a thought I've had about people who develop physical, mental,
emotional miseries, whatever, as they grow elderly. But their awful suffering can give those of them who fear death reverse thinking on it. They begin to see death as erasing the goodness in themselves, a goodness that they can teach others. I see only one thing I've done to be proud of in my life (other than birthing three great children :) ) Just an ordinary non-skilled person. Sometimes in the middle of the night I wake up & while trying to get back to sleep, irritated, my mind starts to think on past unpleasantness. I feel crabby not being able to fall back to sleep because lack of sleep will make the next day rough to do anything. But I tell myself to shutup and think good thoughts.. I still may not fall back to sleep, but I feel emotionally better.
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The way you are reacting to these negative thoughts is wonderful. Stopping the negativity as soon as the thought enters the relative field and replacing it with a higher qualitive judgement is the best way to handle this. I'm proud of you!
 
Jim W. said:
I have always been a positive and optimistic person, even though I didn't have a lot of reasons to be, at least in the sense that most people think of reasons to be happy.

But I was always basically on the happy side of neutral.

Up until recently....

A couple of months ago, my mind started dwelling on some things that happened (and some things that didn't happen) a long, long time ago. Mistakes and bad decisions I made, bad timing, etc, etc. Seeing people I knew seem to effortlessly succeed at both personal relationships and occupational endeavors, while everything I attempted I seemed to be stymied. Sometimes by conditions beyond my control, like a congenital disorder that blocked me from certain occupations, etc,

Now, for the past few weeks, I've been feeling lonely, sad and depressed.

I have nobody in my life and every day is just a lonely repeat of the previous one. I've been getting outside and walking for exercise every day which helps a bit. Found out after weighing myself on a public scale the other day, that I've lost about 20 lbs or so. Could stand to lose some more, so I'll keep at that.

After the beginning of the new year, after I take care of some other business and after a vaccine for this COVID business becomes available, I might look into joining a local chapter of a nationwide community service group that meets once per week. Get involved and maybe make some new friends.

I've never been suicidal and I highly doubt I'd ever get to that point. But I will admit that lately, the thought of passing away earlier than I had planned, doesn't seem like such a bad thing and possibly even a relief.

I hope this wasn't too maudlin or self-pitying as I am not that kind of person.
Click to expand...
I can understand your mood changing a lot over this parody of time and mine has too.

That's good that you have things to do once this pandemic settles down.

I hope to start doing some of the same things and I wish you all the best in doing those things too.
 
Ruthanne said:
I can understand your mood changing a lot over this parody of time and mine has too.

That's good that you have things to do once this pandemic settles down.

I hope to start doing some of the same things and I wish you all the best in doing those things too.
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I think this pandemic has thrown a spanner into the works of the outlook of a lot of us (me included).
 
needshave said:
Jim,

You've got friends here. You may not know use, couldn't recognize us in a crowd, (except for Pinky & Holly) but if we can provide any support or just want to talk....there are many here that would listen (read). This is the place.
Sometimes its just good to talk things out with somebody, other times you are just too close to it and you can't see the forrest for all those trees, again its good to talk it out and get another view point.
So, although Im not on here all the time I check it often. If you just need someone to talk it out...sign me up.
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Thank you!!!!
 
tbeltrans said:
I find that it is easier to keep a positive attitude when I am actively engaged in some productive pursuit. That is why I feel that hobbies and interests are so important in retirement so we don't just fade away.

Tony
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I was going to say just that. Few people, and particularly old ones, wake up and say "yay!" Nary a day goes by that I don't complete some project. On days that do, I take a nice long nap bc I earned it, so that feels positive too.
 
I have become positive when I had no one to rely on but myself. I'm living my best life inspite of this pandemic. Not saying there's no trials my way because I have my fair share. I have sticked to an *attitude of gratitude that works well for me to look at the good side of any negative situation. I remind myself not to dwell in negative thoughts. I literally sing the blues away and it works like magic for me.

* I started a journal of things I'm grateful for from the mundane to the grand events. I even write gratitude for negative events like forgetting to set my alarm but good enough I woke up with 45 minutes to shower, get dressed and run! LOL
 
Most of the time I am positive. Before I moved here I was in a difficult marriage with a very negative angry man and that affected me so much. Now I am pretty happy with my life but things happen in life that are sad or hard too. When they happen, I do not dwell on it. So I would say my outlook on life is mainly positive.
 
Just talked to hub about this...we are both "scary positive"...lol. He is much more low keyed about it though and I am way more "bubbly" personality wise. Except when he gets some wine in him, then he gets "bubbly" and I get more quiet! Credit the "ability to see the ridiculous" sense of humor we both seem to have acquired.
 
I've usually trended to be optimistic and positive. During the last year however I found myself feeling negative and anxious. I know it had to do with the elections, the divisions in our country and the Covid virus wildfire. I feel much more hopeful now since I believe we will soon have people in office who appear to have some sensible ideas plus the imminent availability of the Covid vaccine. As for the divisions in our country, I don't know how or if we can solve that one.
 
I think I must be positive because all of the world negativity and hatred over the past year bothered me greatly. To the point that I am in hiding from all news stations, magazines, Facebook...any place that thrusts the negativity on me. My own personal world is positive and I choose the people in my life who I know will keep it that way. Naive? Perhaps, but I’m so much happier this way.
 
Elsie said:
Sounds a bit like me. I don't try to be either way. If something, any ol' thing, happens in the day that gives me a smile, well great. I don't deliberately give thought about my daily living, it just is what it is....EXCEPT that my full body Essential Tremor shaking is one of those "it is what it is" things that doesn't fit in the mold of not giving thought to what goes on in my daily living. :)
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My husband has ET too...that couple of glasses of wine before dinner really helps him with dinner. His neurologist said "keep it up".
 

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