So only when Whites say the "N" word it's racist

IMO the use of any word is all about context.

There is very little reason to use some words in today’s world even though they were a part of our past.

The problem that I have with using some words, even in a friendly manner, is that it helps to keep them top of mind and a part of our vocabulary.

IMO some words should just be allowed to fade away into the past.
 
When my kids were 15 and 14, we moved to a small town in PA. The kids got on the bus, and they heard the "N-word" used in casual conversation for the first time. They were shocked.

When I was a kid, living in the South, I heard it from time to time. I went to a public junior high school and it had just be desegregated that year. I never hear any white person use the N word except in a derogatory manner. I was shocked -- I had never attended a segregated school, or a school in which anyone used the N word.
 
I think it depends on who you're talking to, and the intent matters.
Sometimes there is playful banter among women using the word "bitch". They might say something like "Okay, but this better work bitch". It is just used as sassy banter, and it isn't used in a disrespectful way, but one needs to be very careful that it's clearly understood that way.

When Sinatra did "The Lady Is A Tramp", women didn't take it as disrespectful because the song lyrics made it clear what was meant. It was just used to describe someone who rejects superficial social norms, and many women loved it. The song has been covered by many female artists, including Ella Fitzgerald, Lena Horne, and even Lady Gaga.

That being said, for the most part, the words aren't as important as the meaning and intent of the speaker, and how it is received and understood by the listener(s). Some guys can get away with calling each other "Meathead", or "Putz", or whatever, and it's just part of their camaraderie, but used in a different setting might get you clocked.
 

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