So only when Whites say the "N" word it's racist

IMO the use of any word is all about context.

There is very little reason to use some words in today’s world even though they were a part of our past.

The problem that I have with using some words, even in a friendly manner, is that it helps to keep them top of mind and a part of our vocabulary.

IMO some words should just be allowed to fade away into the past.
 
When my kids were 15 and 14, we moved to a small town in PA. The kids got on the bus, and they heard the "N-word" used in casual conversation for the first time. They were shocked.

When I was a kid, living in the South, I heard it from time to time. I went to a public junior high school and it had just be desegregated that year. I never hear any white person use the N word except in a derogatory manner. I was shocked -- I had never attended a segregated school, or a school in which anyone used the N word.
 
I think it depends on who you're talking to, and the intent matters.
Sometimes there is playful banter among women using the word "bitch". They might say something like "Okay, but this better work bitch". It is just used as sassy banter, and it isn't used in a disrespectful way, but one needs to be very careful that it's clearly understood that way.

When Sinatra did "The Lady Is A Tramp", women didn't take it as disrespectful because the song lyrics made it clear what was meant. It was just used to describe someone who rejects superficial social norms, and many women loved it. The song has been covered by many female artists, including Ella Fitzgerald, Lena Horne, and even Lady Gaga.

That being said, for the most part, the words aren't as important as the meaning and intent of the speaker, and how it is received and understood by the listener(s). Some guys can get away with calling each other "Meathead", or "Putz", or whatever, and it's just part of their camaraderie, but used in a different setting might get you clocked.
 
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When I was a child, I heard the "N" word many times. Unfortunately, the use of it took a long time to fade where I live.

I worked with a "colored" woman for over 20 years, and we remain friends to this day. I just now referred to her that way because it is her preference to be called "colored", not "black".
 
When a person from other descent than African, uses the word, it is considered an insult or a degrading. Here is why.

When the Spaniards brought the Africans to America for slavery, they called them Black. Their word for black is negra. The USA southern plantation owners with their accent, couldn't say negra with the same clarity as those up north. So the word with its southern pronunciation became one with slavery.

The same folks up north that referred to the Africans as negra or black, would be considered racist if they used the southern plantation pronunciation. Why, because it was a degrading since it was a reference to the Africans that were sold like cattle and forced to work or die.

Then calling Black folks, colored, was started in hopes of distancing slavery from the descendants of African slaves. Black folks I know despise being called colored. One of my Aunts use to say, "Do I look purple fool?"
 
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It's never okay for white people to use it. It's offensive to my ears no matter who says it, but if a group of black people want to use it among themselves, that's their choice. Sort of like my friends and I might call ourselves the happy hags, but if some other person called me a hag I'd hit him with my cane.
 
When I was a child, I heard the "N" word many times. Unfortunately, the use of it took a long time to fade where I live
I worked with a "colored" woman for over 20 years, and we remain friends to this day. I just now referred to her that way because it is her preference to be called "colored", not "black".

I had a school friend who would refer to herself as "coloured", she disliked the term "black" as, if anything, she said she was brown. Like you, I took the view that she had the right to refer to herself anyway she liked. We were friends for a long time and I wish she was still here. Your post reminded me of her. :)
 


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