So only when Whites say the "N" word it's racist

IMO the use of any word is all about context.

There is very little reason to use some words in today’s world even though they were a part of our past.

The problem that I have with using some words, even in a friendly manner, is that it helps to keep them top of mind and a part of our vocabulary.

IMO some words should just be allowed to fade away into the past.
 
When my kids were 15 and 14, we moved to a small town in PA. The kids got on the bus, and they heard the "N-word" used in casual conversation for the first time. They were shocked.

When I was a kid, living in the South, I heard it from time to time. I went to a public junior high school and it had just be desegregated that year. I never hear any white person use the N word except in a derogatory manner. I was shocked -- I had never attended a segregated school, or a school in which anyone used the N word.
 
I think it depends on who you're talking to, and the intent matters.
Sometimes there is playful banter among women using the word "bitch". They might say something like "Okay, but this better work bitch". It is just used as sassy banter, and it isn't used in a disrespectful way, but one needs to be very careful that it's clearly understood that way.

When Sinatra did "The Lady Is A Tramp", women didn't take it as disrespectful because the song lyrics made it clear what was meant. It was just used to describe someone who rejects superficial social norms, and many women loved it. The song has been covered by many female artists, including Ella Fitzgerald, Lena Horne, and even Lady Gaga.

That being said, for the most part, the words aren't as important as the meaning and intent of the speaker, and how it is received and understood by the listener(s). Some guys can get away with calling each other "Meathead", or "Putz", or whatever, and it's just part of their camaraderie, but used in a different setting might get you clocked.
 
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When I was a child, I heard the "N" word many times. Unfortunately, the use of it took a long time to fade where I live.

I worked with a "colored" woman for over 20 years, and we remain friends to this day. I just now referred to her that way because it is her preference to be called "colored", not "black".
 
When a person from other descent than African, uses the word, it is considered an insult or a degrading. Here is why.

When the Spaniards brought the Africans to America for slavery, they called them Black. Their word for black is negra. The USA southern plantation owners with their accent, couldn't say negra with the same clarity as those up north. So the word with its southern pronunciation became one with slavery.

The same folks up north that referred to the Africans as negra or black, would be considered racist if they used the southern plantation pronunciation. Why, because it was a degrading since it was a reference to the Africans that were sold like cattle and forced to work or die.

Then calling Black folks, colored, was started in hopes of distancing slavery from the descendants of African slaves. Black folks I know despise being called colored.
 
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It's never okay for white people to use it. It's offensive to my ears no matter who says it, but if a group of black people want to use it among themselves, that's their choice. Sort of like my friends and I might call ourselves the happy hags, but if some other person called me a hag I'd hit him with my cane.
 
MACKTEXAS said:
When I was a child, I heard the "N" word many times. Unfortunately, the use of it took a long time to fade where I live
I worked with a "colored" woman for over 20 years, and we remain friends to this day. I just now referred to her that way because it is her preference to be called "colored", not "black".
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I had a school friend who would refer to herself as "coloured", she disliked the term "black" as, if anything, she said she was brown. Like you, I took the view that she had the right to refer to herself anyway she liked. We were friends for a long time and I wish she was still here. Your post reminded me of her. :)
 
Aunt Bea said:
IMO the use of any word is all about context.

There is very little reason to use some words in today’s world even though they were a part of our past.

The problem that I have with using some words, even in a friendly manner, is that it helps to keep them top of mind and a part of our vocabulary.

IMO some words should just be allowed to fade away into the past.
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Totally agree. So does author Ta-Nehisi Coates. In this under 5 minute video in response to young white woman's question on this topic he brilliantly, in part because with much humor responds by talking about the fact that there are many words that may be acceptable or not depending on context.

 
I grew up seeing these signs. It is for that reason, I refuse to accept Person of Color or Colored person as a description on any human, especially those of darker skin and ethnic facial features. Anyone else here remember seeing these signs on restrooms and other public places? Anyone else here refuse to use any facility that outlawed anyone but Caucasians? My family did and my Grandma would tell me that it was better to soil my clothes than be a party to this hate. I could pass as "white" but many of my ancestors couldn't. Colored also applied to anyone with darker skin and ethnic facial features, not just those from African descent.

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Deya said:
I grew up seeing these signs. It is for that reason, I refuse to accept Person of Color or Colored person as a description on any human, especially those of darker skin and ethnic facial features. Anyone else here remember seeing these signs on restrooms and other public places? Anyone else here refuse to use any facility that outlawed anyone but Caucasians? My family did and my Grandma would tell me that it was better to soil my clothes than be a party to this hate. I could pass as "white" but many of my ancestors couldn't. Colored also applied to anyone with darker skin and ethnic facial features, not just those from African descent.

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My first 10 years were in a small 'Sundown' town in rural Florida. i didn't even know about that till i was older--after we left because KKK burned down our house because parents refused to agree to never sell to non-whites. Part of the reason i didn't know was because there were black communities nearby.

My Mom, who was raised Catholic was constantly searching for a satisfying 'church' experience. So i attended many a service where Mama and i were the only whites. Which the KKK was probably not to thrilled with that either. As a teen when i knew enough to realize the danger we were putting them i was upset, but appreciated all the more how kind and welcoming they were to us, also finally understood why they sounded surprised when i addressed them as "M'am" and "Sir".

Didn't see those signs in our town because it was small and understood. But when we'd shop in Tampa i saw them. The summer i turned 5 i scared my Mom because i got tired of waiting in the long line for the white water fountain and marched over to drink at at the 'colored' one as there was no-one there at the time, tho a couple of 'Black' people walked up as the rest of the scene unfolded.

Mom calling me back, several people in the white line saying 'Oh, no baby that's for colored people'. Despite my deep tan,my hair was still very blonde at that age and my features clearly 'european'. i lifted my very tanned arm and said "But i'm colored---see!!" Everyone laughed, but Mama still hustled me off to another floor.
 
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Maybe we should take the boogeyman man out of the word. There should be no racial slurs but none are so feared and hated as the "N" word.
I tried to attach a YouTube video of Dustin Hoffman playing Lenny Bruce in his nightclub act that addressed the word.
So controversial that I couldn't post it but you can look it up if you choose.
 
I think we all have a name and don't need a skin reference added unless we are needing to be found for a description.
I don't know if I have ever heard a white person say, (as example) "I just spoke with a very helpful White lady at the store" But if not the same skin tone, then skin tone is tossed in.
 
IrishEyes said:
I think we all have a name and don't need a skin reference added unless we are needing to be found for a description.
I don't know if I have ever heard a white person say, (as example) "I just spoke with a very helpful White lady at the store" But if not the same skin tone, then skin tone is tossed in.
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In your example, I don't see why it is necessary to reference the skin tone...a helpful lady is a helpful lady.
 
Funny story on this, I was raised being told I was Irish, I had an Italian Aunt, A Japanese Aunt and English this and German that.
When I went to apply for a job at 17 and they asked on the application what Race I was, I couldn't find Irish...honest truth. I had no idea I was Caucasian, as they called us at that time. No idea what that word meant. I think the human race is all of us, anything mixed in us is Ethnicity. I will go to my grave thinking it is as such.
OldOld said:
In your example, I don't see why it is necessary to reference the skin tone.
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My point is... why is reference needed at all unless that person needs help in some way. You spoke to another Human Being.
 
I always thought it was dumb to make any word "racist". The "N-word" is a word. It's a collection of human made sounds. The sounds are not "racist", but it is the meaning the sayer gives it, which are racist. If the word is used to express biased, racial hatreds, and prejudices, then it's objectionable. If the word is not meant to convey those feelings, it is not objectionable.
 
bobcat said:
I think it depends on who you're talking to, and the intent matters.
Sometimes there is playful banter among women using the word "bitch". They might say something like "Okay, but this better work bitch". It is just used as sassy banter, and it isn't used in a disrespectful way, but one needs to be very careful that it's clearly understood that way.

When Sinatra did "The Lady Is A Tramp", women didn't take it as disrespectful because the song lyrics made it clear what was meant. It was just used to describe someone who rejects superficial social norms, and many women loved it. The song has been covered by many female artists, including Ella Fitzgerald, Lena Horne, and even Lady Gaga.

That being said, for the most part, the words aren't as important as the meaning and intent of the speaker, and how it is received and understood by the listener(s). Some guys can get away with calling each other "Meathead", or "Putz", or whatever, and it's just part of their camaraderie, but used in a different setting might get you clocked.
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Did you ever hear, on Sinatra's album "Duets," he sings with Elton John "The Lady is a Champ." Grrrr! I hate it so much, and it doesn't belong with the lyrics.
 
Deya said:
I grew up seeing these signs. It is for that reason, I refuse to accept Person of Color or Colored person as a description on any human, especially those of darker skin and ethnic facial features. Anyone else here remember seeing these signs on restrooms and other public places? Anyone else here refuse to use any facility that outlawed anyone but Caucasians? My family did and my Grandma would tell me that it was better to soil my clothes than be a party to this hate. I could pass as "white" but many of my ancestors couldn't. Colored also applied to anyone with darker skin and ethnic facial features, not just those from African descent.

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When I was a kid in the 50s, our family used to drive annually from our home in NY to Miami FL for a vacation. We'd see these signs in the South and couldn't get over it.
 
I used it once in a poem about a Black guy and when I read it to him he fled my house immediately. I learned to never again use the word. In my defense, I had recently seen the play "for colored girls..." so I thought it was "poetic license." Not!
 
Marcy Sheiner said:
I used it once in a poem about a Black guy and when I read it to him he fled my house immediately. I learned to never again use the word. In my defense, I had recently seen the play "for colored girls..." so I thought it was "poetic license." Not!
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Did you ever hear Lou Reed's "Take a walk on the wild side"? Internal lyrics include

And the colored girls go
Doo, do-doo, do-doo, do-do-doo
Doo, do-doo, do-doo, do-do-doo
Doo, do-doo, do-doo, do-do-doo
Doo, do-doo, do-doo, do-do-doo
 

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