Some People Have A Lot Of Nerve, Don't They?

OneEyedDiva

OneEyedDiva

SF VIP
Location
New Jersey
I thought of this because I was talking to a friend yesterday who said he'd loaned money to a family member who actually got mad at him when he asked for it back....after she asked to borrow more! She already owed him $1,800. Another friend said he let his sister and her husband live in a house he owned down south (he lived here in Jersey). She stopped paying rent for years and got angry when he mentioned it to her. Sometimes, it's obvious that although people owe money that they should be paying back, they are buying expensive things instead of honoring their debts first. Why are people like that?!

My step daughter, who was (is?) an attorney and educator, never called just to say Hi or see how I was doing the entire time I was married to her father. But she had the nerve to text me while I was on a solo vacation several years ago to ask if I could lend her $10,000 ! $10,000 !! I texted her back and told her I'd learned my lesson about lending money because people, some of whom she knew, don't pay back (even when well intentioned). I let her know that I would not be honoring her request. The first friend I mentioned above said he wouldn't have even responded. I didn't think to ignore it at the time, but I like that tactic too.

Do you have any stories about people who've got a lot of nerve?
 

I was never asked to loan money, but I was asked to loan out my horse trailer a lot of times which is the same as money as far as I’m concerned. And then sometimes they had the nerve to ask to borrow both my truck and trailer. Some people act like that is not a big investment and no big deal to just loan it out willy-nilly.

My stock answer has always been absolutely not. if you have a horse emergency, I will come and get your horse and carry it to the vet. If you need to haul somewhere, I will do it. You may borrow my truck and trailer with me as the driver.

I was raised with the philosophy, “neither a borrower nor lender be”.
 

My baby sister had super driven survival instincts. She never actually took from me
but used a situation to make sure she made enough back off her deal to pay me
and make 4 times more than she paid me. Like renting out my mother's house that
had my name on the title behind my back/knowledge. Paid me the amount needed
for insurance/tax cost each month and kept the other 3/4 of the rent she charged.
Family can be so sneaky!
 
There’s a scene in the movie A Bronx Tale that highlights this. If you lend someone money and never see them again: For $20 you found out the kind of person they are “(They’re) never gonna bother you again, (they’re) never gonna ask you for money again, (they’re) out of your life for $20. You got off cheap.”
 
Ya can’t hate em for trying! 😉🤭😂

I would be more upset with myself for being an enabler.

Loaning/giving money is always a judgment call.

If I believe the loan will solve the problem and help get things back on track I’m more inclined to help than if the loan is just throwing money into a bottomless pit.

I’m also a bit slow to lend money if there appears to be another obvious solution.

Just do or don’t do whatever feels right at the time.
 
I was much more generous back in the day, before I learned not to loan anyone money or possessions, unless I was happy to give them away.

An early lesson was when a school friend asked if she could borrow some records. When I eventually asked for the records back, she shrugged and said she had left them at a party and had no idea where they were now. I was more annoyed at her 'so what' attitude than the loss of the records so, I guess, a cheap lesson to learn.

Our paths crossed a couple of years later when we were both at the same college. She asked a mutual friend if she could borrow £5. Our mutual friend told her to get lost! Obviously she was wiser than me :ROFLMAO:
 
I had a friend who was moving to Oregon. He asked me to loan him 10,000 $. I did. In three months he paid me $3000, and then moved to Oregon. I didn't hear from him so I wrote him about a year later, addressed to both him and the women he moved there for and said I need the money for an operation. They both got it, and sent the money...I lied, no operation. :)
 
I have loaned money to family members that I was almost certain that I wouldn't see it back. Not huge amounts, but substantial to me.
My wife looked at me funny when I did it and warned me of what I already knew. I told her the way I looked at it was that if my loaning them money meant that they might be able to look after a few things like rent or bills also meant that they were less likely to think that they should maybe come and live with me. I love my family but there are some that I know I would never want to be living under the same roof with them. If I didn't get the money back and they never asked to live with me the money was well spent.
 
If you're going to lend money, just consider it a gift.

Don't lend money for lost causes.

If someone's six months behind in their mortgage and they want $2000 to "get the mortgage company off their back for a month", it's a lost cause. They're going to lose the house AND your $2000, too.

If your brother-in-law needs $2000 for some urgent dental surgery to stop his pain, lend the money. You still probably won't get it back, but it went to a good cause.
 
Never lent money,but, I've been burned a few other times. Since I have 2 motor homes, (Todd & Margo), there has been a couple of times I've let people stay in Todd. (I kept him hooked to water and sewer when not on the road).
One day, the wife came to me with a story of a recently divored woman with 2 teenage sons who were stranded in a town about 40 miles from us. Money had run out, truck needed fixing, etc. Wife has a big heart so, we sent them some gas money and invited them to come and stay in Todd until she got some money from the ex wired to her. Gave them food and helped repair their truck. (bunch of small mechanical issues). They stayed for that month, then, one day... I looked out the window to see their pickup heading down the driveway. Just like that, they left! No goodbye,thank you or anything... Just poof... we're gone. o_O :mad:

That should have done it for us, but, no, sometime later, wife again finds a couple with a broke down camper trailer and of course... no money until the next check comes in a month. Well, big hearted wife lets them stay in Todd for the month, while I repair their camper.
(replace the axle bearings, fix the wiring, and repair the plumbing). Another one, look out the window and there they go. no thank you... again. They did however, leave me a gift that just kept giving. A motorhome full of fleas. :eek: How would you like to deal with that? :mad:
That was the last straw. I told the wife... no more feeling sorry for these folks with their sob stories.

todd fleas2.JPG todd fleas.JPG todd.JPG todd fleas4.JPG
 
Yep,I loaned money to my daughter to buy her first home ,( the deposit/ stamp duties / other costs totalling $19.0000)

on the condition she paid me back monthly ….the home was bought in 1996 for $55.000 it was a nice basic solid brick starting point home in a nice quiet suburb/ near a school for the kids

( her and I painted the whole inside and got new carpets installed ) at my cost ….

She never paid me back and even when she sold the home 10 years latter for $260.000 she had a big spit , saying she owed me nothing …..she eventually paid me $10.000 of the owed $19.000 but that was it ….never again ..don’t ever lend money to relatives
 
Tommy said:
I've only "loaned" significant amounts of money to family and very close friends. I've never had an expectation of ever seeing that money again, which has generally been the case. Basically, never loan money that I wouldn't be willing to give as a gift.
Click to expand...
I know what you mean Tommy about what I bolded. Sometimes that was the case with me and I was fine with it, especially when it came to family members who I know were having a rough time. But other times it was just too much to give as a gift. There were two people I knew would always pay me back...my son and my Honorary Daughter and they never let me down.
 

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