Some Puns for Fun

These are very old.......


I once dated a guy who broke up with me because I only have 9 toes. Yes, he was lack toes intolerant

· I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

· I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.

· I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight.

· Did you know muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven.

· I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes.
I turned to a local tribal leader and said, "That lizard is really funny!"
He replied, "That's not a lizard. He's a stand-up chameleon."

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it but nobody saw it.

· Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

· The Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song but the chick peas can only hummus one.

· Then there was the time Fruit of the Loom took Hanes to court... it was a brief case.

· How much does a chimney cost? Nothing, it's on the house.

· My friend said she wouldn't eat cow's tongue because it came out of a cow's mouth. I gave her an egg.

· Once upon a time there was a King who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible King but he made a great ruler.

· Ran out of toilet paper, now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, and tomorrow romaines to be seen.

· My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That's right...Jack and the beans talk.

· I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You probably have not heard of herbivore.

· I was struggling to understand how lightning works and then it struck me.

· Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. That's right. The steaks were pretty high.

· I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn't work.
 
Mizmo said:
These are very old.......


I once dated a guy who broke up with me because I only have 9 toes. Yes, he was lack toes intolerant

· I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

· I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.

· I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight.

· Did you know muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven.

· I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes.
I turned to a local tribal leader and said, "That lizard is really funny!"
He replied, "That's not a lizard. He's a stand-up chameleon."

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it but nobody saw it.

· Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

· The Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song but the chick peas can only hummus one.

· Then there was the time Fruit of the Loom took Hanes to court... it was a brief case.

· How much does a chimney cost? Nothing, it's on the house.

· My friend said she wouldn't eat cow's tongue because it came out of a cow's mouth. I gave her an egg.

· Once upon a time there was a King who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible King but he made a great ruler.

· Ran out of toilet paper, now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, and tomorrow romaines to be seen.

· My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That's right...Jack and the beans talk.

· I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You probably have not heard of herbivore.

· I was struggling to understand how lightning works and then it struck me.

· Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. That's right. The steaks were pretty high.

· I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn't work.
Click to expand...
Love 'em!!!! 😅🙃😂
I hope we get keep this thread going!
 
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(there are multiple places where this image can, and will be, be used today!
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