Speaking of sex......

Ronni

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
fmdog's thread about people and their money spawned this this one, so blame him! :lol:

I've always been very open about sex, since I was a young woman. That openness resulted from my parents, my Mum specifically, refusing to have ANY discussion with me about the subject. I never had "the sex talk" when I was younger. The closest my Mum came to having that discussion with me was to hand me a religious pamphlet, when I was about 14, that espoused "the joyful union of man and woman" with no specifics whatever about how or in what manner that happened, other than its relationship to "holy matrimony."

First of all, the information was useless. Secondly, by the age of 14 I was already steeped in mis-information from my peers. (There ain't NUTHIN like a bunch of catholic school girls for propagating a wealth of erroneous hyperbole on the subject!!!)

I entered into marriage, AND the delivery of my first child, with very little understanding of how I got pregnant (beyond the absolute basics of "this goes here") or the physiology behind that pregnancy. Forget the more involved emotional/mental aspects of sex, I was still largely clueless about just the mechanics!!!!

I swore, up and down, that I absolutely would NOT do that to my children, and so I embarked on an informal, but very thorough self-education about the subject in all its aspects. And as I continued to have kids, and as they grew, discussions about sex in all its permutations was as commonplace in my household as discussion of sports, what was for dinner or who had what homework, the only caution to my children being that it was a discussion saved for OUR HOUSE ONLY. That it wasn't secret, but it WAS private, and that other folks outside the family might tend to be uncomfortable with such open discussion.

My kids, as adults, have each told me how much they appreciated the openness, and as they entered into relationships, were often taken by surprise about how much they knew, or how open they were, or both, compared to their relationship partners.

So....who had "the talk" with their parents? Who, as parents yourselves, had "the talk" with your kids?
 

Ronni said:
.....The closest my Mum came to having that discussion with me was to hand me a religious pamphlet, when I was about 14, that espoused "the joyful union of man and woman" with no specifics whatever about how or in what manner that happened, other than its relationship to "holy matrimony." First of all, the information was useless. Secondly, by the age of 14 I was already steeped in mis-information from my peers. (There ain't NUTHIN like a bunch of catholic school girls for propagating a wealth of erroneous hyperbole on the subject!!!)....
Click to expand...

That's funny. Doesn't apply to me, but DW went to Catholic Girls school and mom handed her those same pamphlets. Yeah, they were told that they would get preggers if they simply lay down in a bed next to a man and didn't do anything, and kept their clothes on. Just that proximity 'ruined' them.
And yes, the wife got over that....:p
 

No conversations growing up and no kids of my own to worry about.

I've always felt that if a kid was old enough to formulate the question they were old enough to hear the answer, just keep it simple and stick to the question being asked.
 
My parents never discussed it with me.........I learned from the babysitter of my buddy's little sister. She was 19 I was 12. Yeah today she'd be arrested....if I told, which I didn't.
 
I always wondered where the myth "you can't get pregnant the first time came from". Everything necessary is there.
 
My parents didn't talk about sex to me at all, most of the things I learned were stories from my friends on the street. My father definitely wouldn't have told me anything related to sex.
 
My Parents never had a sex talk with me. My older sister was the one that even explained what would happen when I would get my first period. It's funny Ronnie when you mentioned Catholic school girls. I had one friend who got married right after high School and she got pregnant. She said the first few days of her marriage she told her husband they couldn't sleep together because if a boy and a girl slept together the girl would get pregnant, so he laughed like heck and he had the sex talk with her. I can't tell you how hard I laughed when she told me that. Even though I went to the same school with her I knew all about sex. I did have the talk with my daughter and my Husband had the talk with my son.
 
I went to a Catholic school, but got no pamphlets and never received a sex talk from my parents. What's sex? ;)
 
Sex was never mentioned in my home....

Learned everything from peers.

My husband had the talk with son...I attempted to have it with daughter.

She informed me it wasn't necessary .. but I got my 2 cents in anyway.
 
Learned a lot from my guy friends. My parents helped by explaining things if I asked them. Our family was always "open" regarding
things of that nature. FEW secrets when it came from learning. EITHER parent was qualified to answer.
 
My mom never talked to me about sex. My mom wouldn't even say the word pregnant. It was always, she is going to have a baby. In fact, when I asked my mom where I came from she told me I floated down the Passiac River in New Jersey on a cabbage leaf. I guess she chose the Passiac River because I was born in a hospital near the river. I learned everything from a few older girlfriends.

I never discussed it with my kids. The school had a sex ed. class in the 8th grade. Parents had to sign a permission slip for your child to attend. I signed it thinking even if I didn't sign they were going to get a head full of misinformation from the other kids. As I remember they weren't impressed by the info. They probably knew it all years before.
 
We (Boomers & Seniors) are from a generation of parents who felt that sex was a taboo subject. All my mother ever said to me was "don't let a boy get you pregnant". How? Like you, any other information was gotten from friends who may have had more experience and maybe not. Since the age of 23 I worked in what used to be called the V.D. Clinic, then Social Hygiene or STD Clinic. I wound up working in various capacities in the same office/clinic and retired from there. Discussions were naturally about sex and exposure to diseases and getting them treated. When my son was about 8, after I'd been there for 6 years, he asked a question about sex that I thought deserved an answer, so I answered it as truthfully but simply as I could. Can't for the life of me think of exactly what his question was but after my answer he said something like "I thought sex would be fun but I see it's a big responsibility too". Yes...from an 8 year old!
KUDOS to you for not keeping your children in the dark like our parents kept us ;)
 
My mother didn't tell me what to expect as I entered into my adolescence, so when I got my first period (which she referred to as my "friend") I thought I was dying! She also never discussed sex with me, other than to say, "you need to save yourself for marriage." Thankfully we had a hygiene class in high school, so I did learn the mechanics of men and women, and was happy to find out that I couldn't get pregnant by kissing a boy.
When I had my son, I was completely open and honest with him, so when he asked me, at the tender age of eight how babies got into their mothers bellies, I told him in graphic detail, and then asked that he refrain from testing this knowledge out until he was at least 18.
 
I was making myself a sandwich one day in our lowly kitchen - probably 14/15 at the time when my father [ a dear gentle man ] came in and said he wanted a talk with me. I was startled had I broken the law or what? No he preceded to explain the 'birds and the bees' in a very gentle way - without going into any gory details . I think I said something like 'yes dad heard about it already' but he was happy he had done his duty!

I think it took another 4 yrs to get up close and dangerous!!
 
Never had a "sex talk" with my parents, thank goodness. :D When I was a teenager, I didn't want to hear about sex from my parents. My mother told me about menstruation and I was really pissed about that. I learned the mechanics of sex in a Health class in 10th grade.

As for our own kids, any attempt to discuss sex with them was met with "I KNOW that, Ma." They were well aware that if they had any questions that they could come to us.
 
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