Stop being the teacher, (start showing you are a human being)

[grahamg]

One of my brother in laws is or was a teacher, (he may be retired now, and as he's no longer married to my sister I'm not sure).

He used to say "whatever profession you took up affected the way you behaved as a person."

Now I think it fair to say we all liked this guy, especially my mother who used to swap poems with him, (and he wasn't using his native tongue, so pretty good going on his part).

Anyway, using his statement about your profession affecting the way you might behave (in your chosen profession), so for him, outside of school hours, and when not dealing with pupils etc. there were times when he'd lecture you a little on your use of the English language, and darn it he'd usually be on the ball too!

However, if even he, who was aware of the problem, or potential problem, could be guilty of this behaviour, then what about the rest of us, have we allowed our thoughts as a professional whatever, or having spent a lifetime doing a certain job, has this changed us in a way affecting the rest of our lives, possibly even in a negative way when it comes to interpersonal relationships, (the cop who cant stop being an officer of the law even when at home maybe?)?

 

[horseless carriage]

Too true Graham. For my working life I have been the general manager in various distribution centres. The big fish in a small puddle. Assertion comes easily. From my wife and others I will often hear: "For goodness sake, you're not at work now!"

 

[Gary O']

However, if even he, who was aware of the problem, or potential problem, could be guilty of this behaviour, then what about the rest of us, have we allowed our thoughts as a professional whatever, or having spent a lifetime doing a certain job, has this changed us in a way affecting the rest of our lives, possibly even in a negative way when it comes to interpersonal relationships

Funny thing, that

Most of my life, people have come to me....asking my advice
Never have I given instruction (seminars, yes, but they don't count)
Got kicked upstairs
Tried like heck to keep my office door closed
They got in anyway
Always found a way to get them to come to their own conclusion

That still works

I may very well be a lazy bum
Still am

I do like to pretend to listen to retired teachers and such
.....especially if they are providing the drinks

 

[Tommy]

Interesting topic grahamg. Maybe it's a combination of both nature and nurture in a sense.

A person who is pedagogic by nature might well gravitate toward a teaching career. One who thrives on structure and organization might want to become and accountant. A person with a strong interest in financial gain and who has highly effective natural "people skills" could be drawn toward a career in sales.

I have no doubt that your BIL is right too. The behaviors that enable us to do our jobs day in and day out can easily become acquired personality traits. Often but not always . . .

I've a good friend who is an eye surgeon. Were you to know him only socially, you might never guess his profession. He seems to have effectively compartmentalized his professional "self".

Thanks for your post.

 

[grahamg]

Funny thing, that
Most of my life, people have come to me....asking my advice
Never have I given instruction (seminars, yes, but they don't count)
Got kicked upstairs
Tried like heck to keep my office door closed
They got in anyway
Always found a way to get them to come to their own conclusion

That still works
I may very well be a lazy bum
Still am

You're not lazy, (but like most men probably know when to procrastinate! ).

I do like to pretend to listen to retired teachers and such
.....especially if they are providing the drinks

Them teachers must have had their hands full with you I'm guessing(?).

 

[Gary O']

Them teachers must have had their hands full with you I'm guessing(?)

They didn't get paid enough

 

[officerripley]

As a lower-level office worker, I was lucky if I was, as the old saying goes, treated as part of the furniture; most of the time I was completely ignored (unless somebody needed help operating the stapler--even a manual stapler!--, coffee, copy or fax machines--I discovered that the more university degrees someone had, the less skilled they were at operating anything).

So that kind of useful slave treatment has affected me. In fact there's a family situation now I wish I could alleviate but know that my opinion on it will be discounted (it already has the times I've already tried), so I've pretty much given up but it's depressing (not the retirement or old age I was hoping for but it appears from what I hear from other gals my age both online and IRL, I'm a member of a large club).

 

[Warrigal]

This ex teacher is still teaching. Part of my teaching role was to mentor junior colleagues.
I still do that by being an encourager of younger women and I love showing little children the wonders of nature present in the garden.

 

[Judycat]

Excuse me. How do you get the wire thingy to punch through the paper with this contraption?

 

[grahamg]

Excuse me. How do you get the wire thingy to punch through the paper with this contraption?

I think you have to stand on your head, or is it stand the stapler on its head?

 

[officerripley]

Excuse me. How do you get the wire thingy to punch through the paper with this contraption?

I think you have to stand on your head, or is it stand the stapler on its head?

As a matter of (true) fact, upon being handed a manual stapler and told it "won't work" and I then opened it up and said, "Oh, no wonder, it's out of staples.", I received a blank look and "Oh, you have to put the staples in?" [I assure you with everything that I can, it was not said jokingly. Sigh.]

 

[grahamg]

As a matter of (true) fact, upon being handed a manual stapler and told it "won't work" and I then opened it up and said, "Oh, no wonder, it's out of staples.", I received a blank look and "Oh, you have to put the staples in?" [I assure you with everything that I can, it was not said jokingly. Sigh.]

It would not be wise then to suggest to the same people that they try stapling parts of their anatomy would it I'm guessing!

 

[grahamg]

This ex teacher is still teaching. Part of my teaching role was to mentor junior colleagues.
I still do that by being an encourager of younger women and I love showing little children the wonders of nature present in the garden.

You teachers do have a lot to answer for I believe, in the case of the thread topic anyway, (much to be thanked for in your professional life too!).

I'm currently being bombarded I think its fair to say, by a very good friend who is very very guilty of the crime of bringing their professional role into their private life sphere.

Most things being said to me are followed with a "Yes?", as though I have to commit myself as to whether I understand and agree with whatever it might be, rather than be given the time to think about whatever is being said at my leisure, and decide how much I agree or disagree with, and how much of that I wish to own up to disagreeing with too!

I do feel literally like I've returned to being a school child again, and of course, somewhere down the line, "the worm has to turn", and give some of this bombardment back, (beware!!!!!!!! ).

(I wonder whether I could get away with saying you're talking a load of utter b****/nonsense? ).

 

[grahamg]

Some research on teaching:
http://psychlearningcurve.org/these...ll-help-your-students-learn-more-effectively/

Motivation: What motivates students?​

Students who are motivated and interested in learning are more successful. CPSE has outlined the most important ways to help increase student motivation and engagement.

9. Intrinsic motivation​

Students tend to enjoy learning and to do better when they are more intrinsically rather than extrinsically motivated to achieve.

This principle is directed at how instructors can increase intrinsic motivation through classroom practices and activities that support the fundamental need of students to feel autonomous. It is important to note that not everything of importance is intrinsically motivating to all students and that there is a place for extrinsic motivation in education. During the unit on motivation, when intrinsic and extrinsic motivations are typically discussed, students can examine their personal motivations and how they influence their success. Lastly, students can examine the research related to the overjustification effect, also discussed in this principle.

Break

11. Teacher expectations​

Teachers’ expectations about their students affect students’ opportunities to learn, their motivation and their learning outcomes.

The beliefs that teachers have about their students affect students’ opportunities to learn, their motivation and their learning outcomes. Psychological research has uncovered ways for teachers to communicate high expectations for all students and avoid creating negative self-fulfilling prophecies. When discussing self-fulfilling prophecies and the Rosenthal and Jacobson study during the social psychology unit, Principle 11 can be used by teachers to show students how they can prevent negative self-fulfilling prophecies.

 

[grahamg]

More research:
https://teachsmartwithme.com/tips-for-teachers-how-to-stop-thinking-about-school/

Quote:
"So, in an effort to change, I’ve been pondering how I can have more balance in my life and how to set some boundaries.

But why does teaching plague out thoughts so much?.

Why do teachers think so much about school?​

As I ponder my situation, something that has dawned on me – when I’m really passionate about something in my life, I can be compulsive. I let it run my thoughts and because I love it so much, I end up working at nights, on weekends and any time I can fit it in.

My husband was the one that identified this with me recently.

He told me that he was concerned that if I wasn’t careful, even my new passion for blogging and writing articles for all you lovely teachers, would end up burning me out. AGAIN!

This statement from him was a revelation to me.

The more I thought about what he had said, the more I realised that my passionate nature combined with having a tendency to be compulsive and tenacious, as well as a hard worker, might have contributed to my burnout as a teacher.

Woah! Big light-bulb moment!!

Could I actually be part of the problem?

I’m sure many teachers understand this passionate nature. Do you find you can be like this too?

If you want to make a difference in the life of a child and impact them, I know it can play on your mind.

As teachers we care TOO much sometimes!"

 

[grahamg]

Latest installment on the "teacher front", another good friend who is a teacher and makes me feel like I'm a schoolboy again, it is an imponderable how much of their behaviour that makes me feel so disenfranchised, and really not myself at all, is due to their profession, and how much is due to character traits that were there from an early age.

We all like to win, be it an argument, or maybe think we know best without mentioning it sometimes, and we all like to get our own way I'd suggest, so all those traits are pretty ubiquitous I'd suggest, but it is the extent they're taken to that is t issue, and whether we stop being a human being if they become out of control(?).

I listen to the apparent trouble they have in other areas of their lives, outside of teaching etc., and I can see them trying to impose an order they feel appropriate on others, (their own family members who know them far too well to fall for it I'm guessing, but they still feel the need to try!), and all this kind of thing goes on in my view, whilst the same person means well generally, and no doubt wants to be loved like the rest of us!

 

[grahamg]

This ex teacher is still teaching. Part of my teaching role was to mentor junior colleagues.
I still do that by being an encourager of younger women and I love showing little children the wonders of nature present in the garden.

I do think you are 100% right about the privilege it must be to inspire and develop young minds, but you'll be aware too of the dangers of allowing yourself to start treating your partner/spouse as though they too were children needing your instruction, (this is the situation I've witnessed on numerous times now, in the homes of otherwise excellent, loving, hardworking people).

As an example I have a friend who has developed this habit, whatever it is they're saying, maybe about the way some builder or maintenance guy let them down, they they end their sentences with a "YES", said in a questioning fashion but at the same time indicating you're only open to agree they're right!

Repeat that kind of thing a few dozen times and if you're on the other end of it you feel traduced, bewildered, and honestly as though you're back in the classroom!

 

[Warrigal]

I have a husband who only takes in the first sentence any time I am attempting to let him know what I have done or what someone has told me in a conversation. Then he will tell me why he objects to the information as if I am asking for his approval or advice. Is it any wonder I ask him if he has heard what I said? Usually I have to start again from the beginning several times to make sure he has absorbed the important bits without debating every item.

Am I being a teacher, or just a wife?
I only do this because he complains about not being told anything. Errrgh!

 

[grahamg]

I have a husband who only takes in the first sentence any time I am attempting to let him know what I have done or what someone has told me in a conversation. Then he will tell me why he objects to the information as if I am asking for his approval or advice. Is it any wonder I ask him if he has heard what I said? Usually I have to start again from the beginning several times to make sure he has absorbed the important bits without debating every item.
Am I being a teacher, or just a wife?
I only do this because he complains about not being told anything. Errrgh!

Absolutely loved your post and just had to say so, its made the whole thread worth the effort on its own.

I have some married friends, and the wife tells me her husband claims she's the source of all the grief in his life, but he still needs her to come out to a bar with him, even when she's had an horrendously busy day, "the poor lamb", (so they must really be happy in spite of the complaints, and communicate well enough was my view and comment to her! ).