Stop Saving, Start Spending

My estate will go to my Hubby, who is 8 years younger. If we both go it goes to his sister, who is an accountant and is very responsible. If I pass away, I already know he will sell our house in Dallas and move to Florida to be closer to his brother and sister. No surprise there. I just want him to be comfortable.

I mentioned being the first to pass away the other day. I'm 67. My maternal grandfather lived to 98. My mother lived to 89. He said "Your family is like roaches. You will live to be 100 and just drop right where you are." :ROFLMAO:
 

MACKTEXAS said:
As I said in my post you replied to: "at least that's how it is in Texas." There are 2 nursing homes here. The ones who pay get the same care as the ones on Medicaid. It is against the law for it to be otherwise.
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Pity it ain't like that everywhere but thing is... how are the homes caught when they don't obey the law? Every state has elder abuse laws. Stuff still happens. Those so debilitated healthwise that they need a home not only are incapable of reporting but may even be threatened and scared into not telling loved ones.

One trend with nursing homes that is greatly disturbing me - and I admit maybe unnecessarially my own paranoia - is this trend to thinking it's cute that that seniors in them are getting it on. STDs are on the rise in them. I have this nightmare image of being abusive by a fellow patient and the staff smiling and saying isn't that elderly love darling? I've stayed single (with all that implies) for decades. I will not be getting it on by choice but I can totally see staff pretending that is what is happening instead of actually addressing the issue.
 

seadoug said:
My estate will go to my Hubby, who is 8 years younger. If we both go it goes to his sister, who is an accountant and is very responsible. If I pass away, I already know he will sell our house in Dallas and move to Florida to be closer to his brother and sister. No surprise there. I just want him to be comfortable.

I mentioned being the first to pass away the other day. I'm 67. My maternal grandfather lived to 98. My mother lived to 89. He said "Your family is like roaches. You will live to be 100 and just drop right where you are." :ROFLMAO:
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Please double check how your house is registered. Texas has some quirky inheritance laws.
 
The OP is OK as long as an emergency doesn't happen. They can wipe out thousands of dollars unexpectedly. We should be aware of that possibility when we are spending/budgeting.
 
Blaze Duskdreamer said:
Pity it ain't like that everywhere but thing is... how are the homes caught when they don't obey the law? Every state has elder abuse laws. Stuff still happens. Those so debilitated healthwise that they need a home not only are incapable of reporting but may even be threatened and scared into not telling loved ones.

One trend with nursing homes that is greatly disturbing me - and I admit maybe unnecessarially my own paranoia - is this trend to thinking it's cute that that seniors in them are getting it on. STDs are on the rise in them. I have this nightmare image of being abusive by a fellow patient and the staff smiling and saying isn't that elderly love darling? I've stayed single (with all that implies) for decades. I will not be getting it on by choice but I can totally see staff pretending that is what is happening instead of actually addressing the issue.
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"Stuff still happens" in or out of nursing homes. It's not a perfect world, and laws are broken every day. When that happens, violations have to be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. Certainly in the case of nursing homes, a resident has a strong advantage when a family member is regularly checking in.

As to your second paragraph: yes, many of the residents suffer from mental conditions, making them prone to act inappropriately in many ways including the one you described.

Most people would prefer remaining in their own home, but when that is no longer possible, and there is no family member who can care for them, they usually go to the nursing home. It's not the ideal situation, but few things are.
 
Blaze Duskdreamer said:
Pity it ain't like that everywhere but thing is... how are the homes caught when they don't obey the law? Every state has elder abuse laws. Stuff still happens. Those so debilitated healthwise that they need a home not only are incapable of reporting but may even be threatened and scared into not telling loved ones.

One trend with nursing homes that is greatly disturbing me - and I admit maybe unnecessarially my own paranoia - is this trend to thinking it's cute that that seniors in them are getting it on. STDs are on the rise in them. I have this nightmare image of being abusive by a fellow patient and the staff smiling and saying isn't that elderly love darling? I've stayed single (with all that implies) for decades. I will not be getting it on by choice but I can totally see staff pretending that is what is happening instead of actually addressing the issue.
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Abuse of elders was my graduate degree thesis.
Am/was an elder advocate and have researched and investigated many cases of abuse in Weld County, (Greeley) Colorado back in the 90s.

Elder abuse happens everywhere and is not taken seriously enough.
 
CooCooforCoCoPuffs said:
Don't mean to frighten anyone, but be sure someone is available to stop in and check on you or an elderly loved one everyday or at least every week when they are in the hospital, rehab, or a nursing home?
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That's a good idea. Back in the late 90s, my then-husband and I participated in a program that matched people in the community with older people in care facilities who did not have family nearby: Celebrating 40 Years of Dolphin Companions – Episcopal Community Services
 
seadoug said:
It is registered under both names and we have a will that was prepared by an attorney that specializes in estates. Thanks though!
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Please let me rephrase - check with the county. A filing by an attorney did not happen for us. It took a while to find out why. The check for the fee got separated and stuck in the mailing machine. No check. No filing.
 
wisenior said:
I dunno, i get the impression that many here think that when I say "piss it away",
I'm talking about "the pile", your savings, investments, etc.
Never touch that.

Ever.

All I'm saying is whatever amount you were putting away every pay period,
stop it.

There's plenty there.

Start spending the amount you were putting away on top of "the pile".
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I get what you are saying. Accumulating more & more & not enjoying what is clearly excess is the aim. The trick is knowing what is excess.

I reflect back when we 1st. retired knowing what would be excess was not possible. Somewhere between then & now 30 years later in retirement we know & spend our excess on what we enjoy.

Unfortunately not everyone has an excess so their decision making does depend on their circumstance.
 
What are we really doing by saving at our age?
We're betting how long we're going to need Long Term Care (LTC).
What do you think you'll need?
2 years worth? 3? 5? 10?

According to the Internet:
"The average life span once entering a nursing home (NH) is around 13.7 months,
with a median of 5 months, meaning that over half of nursing home residents die within 6 months of admission;
however, this can vary greatly depending on individual health conditions and other factors."

I visited my Auntie Connie regularly.
She lasted for 10 years.
She was in a private room at a nice place for all of those 10 years.
She and my Uncle Andy were very smart and frugal with their money.

My Mom entered the same NH and lasted 9 months.
Thankfully she was in a private room the entire time and had a little money left over.
It was $11,000/mo when she was there in 2013.

So...

My understanding is that if you have enough when you enter to afford a private room for a few years,
after the money runs out they don't kick you out, they'll put you in a double bed room and on the Govt's dime.

So if I had a couple years or three saved up, I'd relax...I'm prolly not going to last 3 years.

Which makes one wonder about LTC Insurance...
 
January said:
I guess this varies for different posters too.

I am 61 and in good health - of course I could still die tomorrow but I realistically expect to have a lot of future - therefore I still put money into savings and save up for holidays, possible house renovations etc.
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This is a VERY valid point.
How our spending is dependent on where we are on the "downhill slope" of life.

I have tended to begin to relax my tight fisted ways, the closer I get to "seeing Jesus".

Have never "enjoyed" spending...am much more a saver. Spending makes me cringe with every purchase, to this day.
Learned it as a teen watching my bank book balance rise...it was FUN saving money!!

But now I know about when I will die...and know my money will last until I am 98 and the balance will be more than what I have already.
 
wisenior said:
I dunno, i get the impression that many here think that when I say "piss it away",
I'm talking about "the pile", your savings, investments, etc.
Never touch that.

Ever.

All I'm saying is whatever amount you were putting away every pay period,
stop it.

There's plenty there.

Start spending the amount you were putting away on top of "the pile".
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That sounds like much better advice than the impression that was given in the OP. I'm a saver but a spender too. The growth from very good investments will increase one's net worth without having to add more savings from (in my case) pension and social security. Currently, a portion of my income is being put towards helping pay my granddaughter's tuition, which is better than "p*ssing it away".

Even before she went to college, I had stopped saving. I took advantage of the deeply discounted rates and free (really prepaid) stays at our Atlantic City timeshare. In 2018, I (we) stayed there for a total of six weeks (not concurrent). Sometimes I went solo, sometimes with my husband. He passed away at the end of 2018. In 2019 I took a train trip to Florida to visit my honorary son and his fiancee. That year I took a 7 day cruise to Bermuda for our family reunion and sprung for a solo cabin. I also stayed at the timeshare for a couple of weeks.

Once my granddaughter is out of college, maybe before...I plan to get my kitchen remodeled. So it looks like I won't be adding any new money to my savings/investments.
 
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Our only bills are utilities, home and car are paid for.However I save almost every month because we are not psychics we can't possibly know the future. A couple of years ago our son had an accident with our car (he is an adult!). Our insurance called it a write off and actually paid more than we paid for the car, that helped purchase the new car but it also gobbled up all the money I had saved too. We didn't expect our savings to go that way. So now if we die with unspent savings , it will help our son with unexpected costs.
 
CooCooforCoCoPuffs said:
For my 69th birthday year I bought myself something I never in a MILLION years would have bought when I was younger.
Nor could I ever have afforded it back when I was younger, as I was putting every dime away for my "old age".

It is decadent to everyone - even me!
But is totally me: a sports car.
It was a gift to me as it is my last car.

I am a serious lover of open road driving, is why it made me so happy.
It was a slightly used, only 11,000 miles, 2019 Mercedes SL Roadster.
I waited until I saw exactly what I wanted, bought it.
I had driven a new one five years ago and just could never see myself paying what a new one costs.

I earned this nice paid off car and I will drive until I can no longer drive.

Am considering taking up sailing, next. But I don't live near water and never attempted sailing, may not enjoy open ocean sailing.
Looks fun though.
But will be taking lessons somehow when I can figure it out.
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I save because theres nothing I want to spend on. Everything is paid off. All I owe are the usuals like utilities. I dont need more stuff and I have a ton of clothes in various sizes. Im a very boring person. I have no interest in travel or bungee jumping or any of that stuff. :D

In a year or so I plan on splurging on a new car. Im 75 so I figure this will be my last one. I usually get a used car 2-3 years old so Ive had to settle on color. My next one will be bright green even if I have to pay extra. Im tired on facing car clones in the parking lot.
 
Veronica said:
I save because theres nothing I want to spend on. Everything is paid off. All I owe are the usuals like utilities. I dont need more stuff and I have a ton of clothes in various sizes. Im a very boring person. I have no interest in travel or bungee jumping or any of that stuff. :D

In a year or so I plan on splurging on a new car. Im 75 so I figure this will be my last one. I usually get a used car 2-3 years old so Ive had to settle on color. My next one will be bright green even if I have to pay extra. Im tired on facing car clones in the parking lot.
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You might want to buy a car now because if tariffs are instituted it’s estimated that cars will increase in price by 3-5k each. I hadn’t planned on buying a car yet to replace my 17 year old car but changed my mind because of this. Any of my friends that have needed appliances have bought them now for the same reason.
 
KSav said:
Once I'm debt free, I may consider this. ;)

I've been debating getting LTC insurance. My father's wife, a former insurance agency owner, told me not to, though, because, according to her, it won't kick in until you're completely incapacitated. I'm not completely sure I believe her, though. I need to check the laws in my state. If I do opt to get a plan, I'd rather do so sooner than later, when it likely will be more expensive.
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I have known a few people that really had to fight to get them to pay. One woman had Alzheimer’s and was 95 and her LTC insurance was denying her coverage. Her daughter had to get a lawyer.
 
We had a member named Lon that had long term care insurance provided by his employer.

I don’t think that Lon was ever able to benefit from it because he didn’t meet the
benefit triggers specified in the policy.

In many plans you have to meet 2 or 3 benefit triggers over a two or three month waiting period.

Common activity of daily living or ADL triggers are: bathing, dressing, eating, toileting, transferring, or continence.

I wouldn’t want to pay the rather substantial premiums and then face the possible fight for benefits.

I would rather invest the premiums and use the money to provide for my own needs.
 

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