Taking things less personally online

H

hypochondriac

Senior Member
Location
Australia
Do you take things personally more in real life than online?
Guess im referring mainly to forums like this where we have usernames that are not our real names.
We never really know each other even in real life. i mean even my family dont know much about me since i lived overseas for 10 years.
But online if we cop flak from people do they really know us and our context? Of course not. So im asserting that we shouldnt take criticism online personally. Especially online. Its the virtual world. The world of our imagination really. And likewise if we become popular online we neednt let that go to our heads either. Its all surreal.
In my humble opinion. 😉😃
 

Good question. I do not think I do. Or at least I try not to. So often, though, and I am not saying just here, but often people tend to hide behind their anonymity and use that to feel OK about saying things they would not say to someone's face. They wear their user name as a mask.
I try hard to treat people online as I would if I were sitting across the room from them.
 
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Marie5656 said:
Good question. I do not think I do. Or at least I try not to. So often, though, and I am not saying just here, but often people tend to hid behind their anonymity and use that to feel OK about saying things they would not say to someone's face. They wear their user name as a mask.
I try hard to treat people online as I would if I were sitting across the room from them.
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marie if i ever do that please give me a hard smack on the behind! 😂
 

Ruthanne said:
I have taken things personally online at times when under stress mostly though. I have learned to relax more and doing that works out well. I think anyone can have a day when things get to them. We are all human after all, never meant to be perfect!;)
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oh i dont mean to shame anyone that sometimes feels slighted online. i can be the biggest softie of them all. 😢😢
these are questions i ask myself in order to toughen up. anything i can do to help myself cope better online or in real life.
 
Think we all pretend way one or another - maybe just a little thing -but who's to know really '
we would all like to say yes iam on the screen as off it -I have a few run inns on a site but I found -its just not worth the hassel,
like the man said we know nothing really about us ' most of us use a false name like I do ' but it doesnt mean your trouble on
a site just a fun thing really -but what we write matters' as we all pick up on what someone wrote or how they wrote it.
 
I have developed a much tougher skin in the several years that I have been on social media. I have experienced too many situations that have tested my mettle. I sometimes become wistful thinking about my idealism and naiveté in those early days. My temper still flares occasionally and I must confess I was recently suspended from Twitter! Not even Twitter "jail"....total suspension.. Damn politics!!!!
 
Pink Biz said:
I have developed a much tougher skin in the several years that I have been on social media. I have experienced too many situations that have tested my mettle. I sometimes become wistful thinking about my idealism and naiveté in those early days. My temper still flares occasionally and I must confess I was recently suspended from Twitter! Not even Twitter "jail"....total suspension.. Damn politics!!!!
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cheers for your honesty
 
Very rarely does anything posted online get under my skin. When it does I have found placing the poster in my personal sin bin, which is the ignore option, keeps me calm. I don't really ignore them because I still read their posts but because I have to actually open them, it is a reminder to me not to bite their head off no matter what. After a while, when I am over it I bring them back out of the sin bin. They never know they were ever in it.
 
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I think it was Shakespeare who noted that discretion is the greater part of valor, and so I avoid forums and topics that are likely to wax acrimonious. There's enough stress in my real life. I mean, if forum participation isn't a pleasure and rewarding to you on some level, why subject yourself to it? I see forums and social media in general as banquets; select what you like, and leave the rest behind...
 
I try and maintain the same attitude whether it's online stuff or in-person stuff. I'm not easy to offend and won't fly off the handle indiscriminately. If I feel like my feathers are starting to ruffle, I'll ask you about it, try and get more information, see if I misunderstood. I'm especially particular about that online because as we've discussed here more than once, there are no other cues than the written word...no facial expressions, body language, tone of voice.

I'm aware that other people's opinions are just that...opinions. Everyone has them and because yours don't agree with mine doesn't mean that you're out to get me or you don't like me. Disagreements and arguments aren't the same. I can, and do, respectfully disagree with folks all the time, and they with me I'm sure. So what? I'm not offended because you don't agree with me, as long as you don't attack me or make less of me in the process.
 
[QUOTE="Pink Biz, post: 1081569, member: 6538"My temper still flares occasionally and I must confess I was recently suspended from Twitter! Not even Twitter "jail"....total suspension.. Damn politics!!!!
[/QUOTE]

I can beat that. I've been permanently banned from three political forums and I have had at least one member here openly call for my banning from this forum. But I consider those badges of honor because when it comes to politics we are currently engaged in an epic struggle of biblical proportions with ALL THAT IS GOOD on one side vs. ALL THAT IS EVIL on the other and I am on the side of ALL THAT IS GOOD. :cool:
 
Being a senior suggests maturity, so we should tend to handle annoyances better, and since a forum is virtual reality as previously mentioned, nothing online is worth getting bent out of shape over.
 
I think it's much easier getting all worked up online over very little, because there's not a living person in front of you. You are making little symbols on a screen. Those symbols can't hurt anyone-they aren't even real. But what those symbols mean may be quite upsetting, and harmful. If a person was before you, you are reading his affect. You can see the reaction. You know if your words harm or alarm. I believe most people don't want to hurt you. You can't read that online. I also wonder, when online, it may be that you are more interested in scoring 'points' than in communicating.
 
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