"Talking" With a New Male Friend

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
That seldom works. Back a long time ago when I was still trying to find romance I would tell someone I liked but not romantically that we could be friends. All of the time they acted insulted, one practically shouted, "I have plenty of FRIENDS, I am looking for a romantic partner".
But I have already specified I am looking for a friend so....
 

Catlady

Well-known Member
Location
Southern AZ
Strange that you live close but have never met. I wonder if you have passed each other in the street?

Life can be very strange. I once read on a forum about this woman who went on vacation to Germany and met an American man who was also there on vacation and it turned out he lived only a couple of blocks from her in the states. They got married. LOL
 

Ruth n Jersey

Well-known Member
That is really neat! I hope it works out for you. I met my hubby by filling out a huge questionnaire. Then sent it off and the company I sent it to put it in a computer,which was unheard of back then and I had no idea what it was. A few weeks later they sent me back a few compatible matches. Out popped the hubby.
 

Catlady

Well-known Member
Location
Southern AZ
That is really neat! I hope it works out for you. I met my hubby by filling out a huge questionnaire. Then sent it off and the company I sent it to put it in a computer,which was unheard of back then and I had no idea what it was. A few weeks later they sent me back a few compatible matches. Out popped the hubby.

That is interesting, it's the way it's supposed to work, "finding that needle in the haystack".

Just curious, did you meet the other matches and how did they compare to your ideal match and your husband?
 

debbie in seattle

Senior Member
Location
Seattle
Ruth-
My husband passed 16 months ago. The guy I’m seeing right now is an electrician and was at my home, the first time, my husband was truly ill and dying. The next time he was at the house, my husband had passed and Bob asked me out “for coffee”, his wife had passed 2 years prior, he said he understood what I was going through. He gave me his business card and phone number, told me to call him if I wanted. It took me many months to contact him. I don’t do stuff like that, until Bob. We’ve been dating ever since and he’s great. I have a hard time not seeing him more. That being said, he’s still working full time, has his daughter still at home with him (she’s 24), and is very close to his immediate family. I’m trying to figure that stuff out, perhaps I will someday. Hope my story helps you.
Debbie
 

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
Ruth-
My husband passed 16 months ago. The guy I’m seeing right now is an electrician and was at my home, the first time, my husband was truly ill and dying. The next time he was at the house, my husband had passed and Bob asked me out “for coffee”, his wife had passed 2 years prior, he said he understood what I was going through. He gave me his business card and phone number, told me to call him if I wanted. It took me many months to contact him. I don’t do stuff like that, until Bob. We’ve been dating ever since and he’s great. I have a hard time not seeing him more. That being said, he’s still working full time, has his daughter still at home with him (she’s 24), and is very close to his immediate family. I’m trying to figure that stuff out, perhaps I will someday. Hope my story helps you.
Debbie
Thankyou Debbie.
 

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
Well, my new friend got the message that I want to chat with him online for awhile before phone or a meeting in person. We've been exchanging messages for a few weeks I believe. Learning more about him and him about me. He seems very nice and lonely, too. He, too, has some health challenges. It seems so many of us do as we get older. Not sure when I want to take it to phone calls but do enjoy the messaging back and forth.
 

Bonnie

SF VIP
Location
Tx
Well, my new friend got the message that I want to chat with him online for awhile before phone or a meeting in person. We've been exchanging messages for a few weeks I believe. Learning more about him and him about me. He seems very nice and lonely, too. He, too, has some health challenges. It seems so many of us do as we get older. Not sure when I want to take it to phone calls but do enjoy the messaging back and forth.

Happy for you, and I'm sure you know how to handle it.

Getting to know people these days can be so challenging. .. .. Off -topic .. I saw a new fall sitcom on CBS last night .. The Unicorn, and totally enjoyed it.
It speaks to the times we are living in.
 
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gennie

Senior Member
Location
USA
Remember, a Google search and a few bucks will get you a lot of information about a person ..... bankruptcies, police record, political party affiliation, etc.

Also, I know someone who is in the dating market and when she meets a new person publicly for the first time, she jokingly says she has a friend who insists on vetting her new acquaintances so may I use my phone to send her a picture of your driver's license. She makes a joke of it but still insists on doing it. Anyone offended probably has something to hide.

In today's crazy world, it makes good sense to be careful. Trust but verify.





roceeding with date.
 

C'est Moi

Dishin' it out.
Location
Houston Y'all
Remember, a Google search and a few bucks will get you a lot of information about a person ..... bankruptcies, police record, political party affiliation, etc.

Also, I know someone who is in the dating market and when she meets a new person publicly for the first time, she jokingly says she has a friend who insists on vetting her new acquaintances so may I use my phone to send her a picture of your driver's license. She makes a joke of it but still insists on doing it. Anyone offended probably has something to hide.

In today's crazy world, it makes good sense to be careful. Trust but verify.





roceeding with date.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and deduce that your friend doesn't get many 2nd dates. That seems a little over-the-top to me.
 

Catlady

Well-known Member
Location
Southern AZ
she jokingly says she has a friend who insists on vetting her new acquaintances so may I use my phone to send her a picture of your driver's license. She makes a joke of it but still insists on doing it. Anyone offended probably has something to hide.

In today's crazy world, it makes good sense to be careful. Trust but verify.

I have nothing to hide and I would not agree to it. What do I know what that person will do with that info? Why do you think Medicare issued new cards without sensitive info? Now, the online info, free or paid, is a different story, I would do it too if I was still dating.
 

Bonnie

SF VIP
Location
Tx
Your drivers license could cause a lot of headaches in the wrong hands.

FYI ...
If the person is unscrupulous enough, and has a few hundred bucks, they can get, well, pretty much everything.
There are websites which will track down everything about a person for you- all the service wants is paying. A couple hundred bucks, your address and birthdate supplied by your license, or a landline phone number will do- et voila`! Out comes your social security number on the other end.
And with that, the person can BE you.


https://www.quora.com/What-can-someone-do-with-information-on-my-drivers-license
 
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treeguy64

Hari Om, y'all!
Location
Austin, TX.
Remember, a Google search and a few bucks will get you a lot of information about a person ..... bankruptcies, police record, political party affiliation, etc.

Also, I know someone who is in the dating market and when she meets a new person publicly for the first time, she jokingly says she has a friend who insists on vetting her new acquaintances so may I use my phone to send her a picture of your driver's license. She makes a joke of it but still insists on doing it. Anyone offended probably has something to hide.

In today's crazy world, it makes good sense to be careful. Trust but verify.
Proceeding with date.

Total, and absolute, rubbish! If anyone pulled that crap on me, I'd be out the door of wherever we were. I have NOTHING to hide, but there's no way I'd trust a stranger with a copy of my DL. NO WAY!
 

Aunt Bea

SF VIP
Location
Near Mount Pilot
Remember, a Google search and a few bucks will get you a lot of information about a person ..... bankruptcies, police record, political party affiliation, etc.

Also, I know someone who is in the dating market and when she meets a new person publicly for the first time, she jokingly says she has a friend who insists on vetting her new acquaintances so may I use my phone to send her a picture of your driver's license. She makes a joke of it but still insists on doing it. Anyone offended probably has something to hide.

In today's crazy world, it makes good sense to be careful. Trust but verify.





roceeding with date.
I wouldn't do that but I confess that I do make a mental note of the license plate number on the car.
 

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
Happy for you, and I'm sure you know how to handle it.

Getting to know people these days can be so challenging. .. .. Off -topic .. I saw a new fall sitcom on CBS last night .. The Unicorn, and totally enjoyed it.
It speaks to the times we are living in.
I'll have to check Unicorn out.
 

Morgan62

I am always OK ...the trouble is "the others"
I've met a seemingly nice gentleman on a free dating site. Actually haven't met him in person yet. He lives not far from me, is 10 years older than I, seems to have good manners and is respectful. Not sure when I'm going to take the next step and actually meet. It's been a long time since I've chatted at the dating site with someone respectful and mannerly! It's so refreshing as most on there are not I have found. I even have taken my ad down at times giving up but am glad I gave it one more shot.
I am more interested in the "free dating site". In my experience there are no free sites as such and the only ones I know they suck the blood of people and take advantage of souls, who are unfortunate enough to be on their own in the autumn of their lives. I can mention at least 3 who when you dig into deep enough you find they are owned by the same corporation and one of them is advertising on the bottom of this page right now :D
 

Keesha

💙
Location
Canada 🇨🇦
I’m sorry to read this Ruthanne. You must be disappointed also.

It was a wise move that you decided to end it, after all, communication is the most important thing between two people. If you don’t communicate well then it’s hard to express yourself and be understood.

Talking about stuff to a significant other should be the easiest thing to do and most women like to talk.
My man actually can out talk me at times 😵

It’s too bad you couldn’t get to know someone here and meet up but then if it didn’t work out it would ruin your favourite online social place.

Here’s a hug for you Ruthanne.
I’m leaving you some goodies too.

52CB42B0-1097-4E16-AC72-8554932D9942.jpeg
 

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
Ended up not working out with him. I like someone who can have a good conversation and he just never had much to say. It's like pulling teeth at times talking to someone who doesn't like to talk much.:cautious:
I understand you totally Ruthanne, my husband is a good hard working man, but he hardly talks, and when he does it's all work related. I have to instigate all conversations, and even then I often only get a grunt or a shrug. ... and I really miss someone who can hold a conversation.
 


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