"Talking" With a New Male Friend

Packerjohn

Packerjohn
Location
Canada
I'm afraid it did not work out and that was awhile back. Thanks for the tips. @Packerjohn
Sorry to hear that. Hey, there are more fish in the sea where that one came from. Never give up on love. There is someone for everyone out there. Keep trying. It's better of 2 pull the load that life gives us than doing the solo act.
 

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
Sorry to hear that. Hey, there are more fish in the sea where that one came from. Never give up on love. There is someone for everyone out there. Keep trying. It's better of 2 pull the load that life gives us than doing the solo act.
I've been alone so long I wouldn't know. I do know, though, my doggy is a wonderful companion. It really seems like a pain in the butt to get into a relationship, and maintain it..so it seems to me like being single is better except for needing someone to help me with some things at times. All in all I'd say I've been doing fine without a relationship for the past 11 years. The last one was the relationship from hell and so were most of my relationships. I have not been lucky in love and I'm kinda accepting that.
 

Packerjohn

Packerjohn
Location
Canada
I've been alone so long I wouldn't know. I do know, though, my doggy is a wonderful companion. It really seems like a pain in the butt to get into a relationship, and maintain it..so it seems to me like being single is better except for needing someone to help me with some things at times. All in all I'd say I've been doing fine without a relationship for the past 11 years. The last one was the relationship from hell and so were most of my relationships. I have not been lucky in love and I'm kinda accepting that.
I always felt that you can't judge all men because of one rotten apple. You can't judge all women because of one apple. That said, it's sometimes better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship. However, having a partner who is your best friend & someone you can trust completely is pretty darn good. I know this for a fact.
 

Ladybj

Senior Member
I always felt that you can't judge all men because of one rotten apple. You can't judge all women because of one apple. That said, it's sometimes better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship. However, having a partner who is your best friend & someone you can trust completely is pretty darn good. I know this for a fact.
Packerjohn... that is soooooo true!!!! And for me, if every relationship I was in did not work out, I would have to look at myself.
Sometimes we may find fault with all relationships because bottom line, we prefer to be alone and there is nothing wrong with that. God forbid anything happen to my husband, I will have a friend..someone that I trust to be in my life. Not sure about marriage again because my husband has set the bar pretty high...not sure if another man can cross it...LOL
 

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
Packerjohn... that is soooooo true!!!! And for me, if every relationship I was in did not work out, I would have to look at myself.
Sometimes we may find fault with all relationships because bottom line, we prefer to be alone and there is nothing wrong with that. God forbid anything happen to my husband, I will have a friend..someone that I trust to be in my life. Not sure about marriage again because my husband has set the bar pretty high...not sure if another man can cross it...LOL
DELETED and btw, I have taken a good look at myself @Ladybj and am happy with what I see.
 
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Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
I always felt that you can't judge all men because of one rotten apple. You can't judge all women because of one apple. That said, it's sometimes better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship. However, having a partner who is your best friend & someone you can trust completely is pretty darn good. I know this for a fact.
Yes, I have had a good relationship in my life, a few in fact and agree with you. It's not easy to find someone to trust now a days, though.
 

Tabby Ann

New Member
Location
Southern Indiana
I agree with Ruthanne that most men on dating sites are not respectful and mannerly gentlemen. I found most of them to be boorish clods who treat the dating site like a car catalog where all they have to do is pick the make, model, year, color, size and mileage they want and the gal should hop right in bed with them. Any attempt to be polite friends with them first, is not met with equal polite friendliness.
 

tbeltrans

Senior Member
I agree with Ruthanne that most men on dating sites are not respectful and mannerly gentlemen. I found most of them to be boorish clods who treat the dating site like a car catalog where all they have to do is pick the make, model, year, color, size and mileage they want and the gal should hop right in bed with them. Any attempt to be polite friends with them first, is not met with equal polite friendliness.
I had an office mate like that at one point in my career. The guy had a reputation for being a "ladies man". It was said about him that the sign of a successful bachelor is one who comes to work from a different direction every morning. Everything he did, from weight lifting to playing guitar in a local rock band, to any other activity, was all targeted to not going home alone at night.

Then, he decided he wanted to settle into one relationship, so he paid a large sum of money to join a dating club. This was while the internet was still something only engineers in certain fields and university CompSci researchers had access to, so he had to make a VHS video at the dating club offices that would be shown to prospective dates.

I still remember how upset he was the day after his first date from that dating club. All he got was a kiss, and that was a new experience for him, apparently. He wanted his membership money back.

It was then that I thought back over that type of guy that I had known over the years (fortunately, not a lot of them). I realized that if he and I walked into a room where there were a lot of women socializing, he would readily spot the ones he could hop into bed with that night while any others would not be worth his attention, while I would spot those with whom a relationship might be possible (to him, such women would be considered boring). It was a revelation to me how differently we each can see the world around us.

I don't know if this helps make any of the women here feel any better about these types of guys, but many of us guys who are not like that, find that type of guy to be simply annoying to be around. The extreme self-centeredness, the bragging, the posing, it all is so phony and relentless.

I have found that if I want to meet compatible people, I can do so by engaging in the activities that interest me. I met my wife in night school for computer programming, for example and we have been married for over 37 years. I can make acquaintances, of which some become actual friends, through clubs, volunteer work, the workplace, etc. Unfortunately, COVID-19 has put a stop to all such activity. I think that if my wife died before I do, I would get involved in one or more social activities, not with the idea of finding another mate, but for the social activity and access to other people with similar interests. Finding another mate, if that were to happen, would be a result of meeting such people. I don't know that I would be interested in a dating club where that is the sole focus.

Tony
 

bowmore

Member
met my present wife on internet(not a dating site),lived 10 miles from me,,good luck
Same here. I met my present wife on a grief recovery site and she lived 40 miles away. Good luck
There was a comany called , It's just lunch" that promoted the idea of a lunch date. It is a less stressful environment then a dinner date, and it is light out.
 

Autumn72

Rhode Island
He told me the apt. building he lives in and I am familiar with it. He is not a scam I am sure. What he looks like is not that important to me. His pic is nice and current, too. Thanks for the concern and well wishes! :)
Did you give him a email addy?
 

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