Teachers that help or hinder - How did a teacher help promote or shame you?

Ina

Ina

Well-known Member
Location
Harris County, NE of Houston, Tx.
Teachers played a large part in my up bring. Much more than my parents. I experienced both actions. When I was 8, my second grade teacher was kind enough to take me aside in the girl restroom, and made me aware of crusted dirt on my arms and legs, she showed me how to shampoo my hair and clean myself. I was ashamed but grateful.

Since my father pulled out of school after the 5th. grade, it was always my secret wish to fulfill my education. SO, at 35 I took the entrance exam to one of our local . Passed with flying colors, and was made exempt from our TASP test. I signed up for 4 subjects, and when I got my first six week grade report I had one B and three C' s. I went to talk to the different teachers to see how I could bring up my grades. All but one told me to have patience, the other asked me about my earlier education, and I explained. Her advice was to go back and pick up the basics I had missed. I came close to dropping out, but instead, I signed up for every remedial course they had. That was the best advice she could have given me. In the 19 years that I studied, I had a 4.0 GPS, and I became a member of Phi That's Kappa. I went back after the first 10 years, and took that teacher to dinner at the best restaurant I could afford. She said no one had ever thanked her teaching them before.
Best thing to happen to me.:eek::eek:nthego:
 

That is a fantastic story Ina, you have amazing courage.

I was very lucky........I had very few bad experiences.
i went to college in Aberdeen, and for a term I couldn't understand the natives!
one day, I was sitting in Organic Chemistry, and; for some reason; the penny suddenly dropped, and from then on I understood everything. It turned out that lecturer and been taught partly by my great-grandfather!
 
That's a remarkable story, Ina...you should write a book. I'm just reading one about a woman whose father left them when she was 5 and then later in life when he had Alzheimer's she had to take care of him. Just started the book, but very good.

Anyway, I was always a good student never shamed by teachers, usually praised. I had a few favorites that always encouraged me to further my studies in what they were teaching...probably became a French major because of Mr. Rebersak..he was one crazy guy but he liked me!
 
I love reading books, but writing one is beyond me. Many have asked me why don't I write a book. I did get a roughout, and I even found documentation for most of what in the outline. But once I saw it laid out, I didn't think people would believe any of it.

In 1993, my oldest son who was in the army for 10 years was home on leave when he was murdered by a man he didn't' even know. His second wife's boyfriend. A couple of reporters from NY came to me wanting a story. When they found out my son was only 27, and I was only 41, they got pushy about my. As I explained, they became disbelieving, and had to see my "proof".

I became angry when I understood they meant to chance the story from my son to me. So, I told them they could write about him, but if they tried to sensationalize my past, I would sue. They stuck to their original idea, and printed that. My life reads like a tragedy. Since it is the only one I have I accept it with gratitude form the powers that be.
 
Had a teacher in college once who said, "You hire and fire your own teachers." Took that advice to heart and always got whatever I could out of each and every class I took no matter how good or bad the instruction.
 
Ina, my deepest condolences for the loss of your son, how tragic. :rose: I admire your will and determination to better your life despite the harsh hand that you were dealt, you're a special person and should feel a great sense of pride.
 
My older sister was very smart, and she went to the same Catholic grade school as I did. I remember very clearly till this day, my second grade nun telling me how stupid I was, and why wasn't I smart like my sister. She said this to me in front of the whole class, and it was very hurtful and humiliating, did much harm to the self-esteem of such a young child. It upsets me to think about it even today. Teachers should never compare one child against the other, and any negative comments should be made in private. :(
 
Seabreeze, that is one teacher that should have quit and found herself a different job. :mad: I had the best teacher in elementary school; he uplifted me and encouraged me, even though my self esteem was not the best - I felt if no one else believed in me, he did. Then, in high school, I had one of the opposites...he treated me like I was stupid since I couldn't understand algebra (still can't), and would insist I go to the board and do problems when he knew I didn't understand it.

Ina, I dont know you, but I am so proud of you for what you've obviously overcome in life. I hope the future is much more gentle and kind to you. :love_heart:
 
The best teacher, at least the one of very few I most respected had a favourite saying that worked wonders.

He would stand silent a few seconds, point at whatever idiot was playing up and ask "Are you deaf or stupid?" We didn't want to be thought either so it focused our attention wonderfully.

I've mentioned before that I was always retarded at maths. He would often ask me that question too until I was at the point of presuming the answer was stupid.

Then he kept me back after class one day and actually talked to me. He said something like "I want to know why you can't do maths because I know you're not stupid." That was probably the nicest sentence I ever heard.

He kept me back a few minutes at least each day to try and explain maths for dummies to me, without much success as I'm still rubbish at it, but he tried. He was my last teacher before High School, and it was all downhill from there maths wise but he did teach me how to think mathematically, and how to concentrate and toughen up to it instead of fleeing from the sight of numbers. He taught me to overcome the fear and 'shame' of it by acknowledging that as I sh*t the all the other subjects in with top marks it wasn't my IQ but something else that caused the numbers problem.

His advice didn't improve my career prospects but it sure gave me a better outlook on my self confidence and capabilities, which helped me to handle maths, badly, through High School at least well enough to stagger in a pass by one point... and wasn't that a zippedydoodah day when I got that result!
Good teachers are good psychologists.
 
Ina said:
I love reading books, but writing one is beyond me. Many have asked me why don't I write a book. I did get a roughout, and I even found documentation for most of what in the outline. But once I saw it laid out, I didn't think people would believe any of it.
In 1993, my oldest son who was in the army for 10 years was home on leave when he was murdered by a man he didn't' even know. His second wife's boyfriend. A couple of reporters from NY came to me wanting a story. When they found out my son was only 27, and I was only 41, they got pushy about my. As I explained, they became disbelieving, and had to see my "proof".
I became angry when I understood they meant to chance the story from my son to me. So, I told them they could write about him, but if they tried to sensationalize my past, I would sue. They stuck to their original idea, and printed that. My life reads like a tragedy. Since it is the only one I have I accept it with gratitude form the powers that be.
Click to expand...

There are books in all of us Ina, some, like yours, more worth the writing than others, but unless we want to write then they'll never be published.

You have a hell of a story for the telling but I understand how that twisting of the tragedy of your son's murder could blunt your intention for writing it. People seem to be drawn to the unusual rather than the tragic and reporters play to that. But an autobiography is very different thing to a news grab.

You've done the leg work of it. You've 'roughed' it out. That's the foundation laid. There are writers' mentors available (not so much ghost writers) available to help with the construction of it.
Overcoming the worry of how it will be received is all that you need to come to terms with. But is that really important? If it is the truth then how they view it is their problem, not yours. You have a strong intelligent attitude to life and the world needs to be told that people like you are out there, coping with the worst of life and beating it.

The opinions of those who don't appreciate that fact don't matter a damn. I suspect most though would appreciate it.

There is a book written called "A Fortunate Life." It is an autobiography of a life that was anything but fortunate. It's the story of a winner against all odds too. I have only read a synopsis, but Warrigal would be familiar with it, autobiographies are more her speed. It too must have been very hard to write but has become almost iconic reading because it was a story worth the telling.

I'll read all of yours though when it's published. Promise.
 
I was a pretty good kid in school, my mother was strict with me in seeing that I behaved properly at home and in public. I probably would have been better off going to a public school as a kid, but I don't think there was one close to my home, except for a junior high school. Anyway, for most grades I had nuns as teachers, as I did in the second grade as mentioned.

Well, in the third grade, I had a regular teacher named Mrs. Ryan. We were told to write a poem relating to Thanksgiving. I wrote this poem by myself, and remember each word of it today. After feeling good about completing the assignment, the teacher said that she didn't believe that I wrote the poem, and must have gotten it from somewhere else. I never cheated whatsoever in class, and had a reputation as an honorable student. This also stuck with me all my life. A little petty thing, but not getting any acknowledgement for it was devastating as a child.

Thanksgiving is a wonderful day,
We thank God that he guided our way,
We thank him for the clothes we wear,
And all the food we have to spare;
We pray for children overseas,
That God may give them all of their needs,
We ask God to bless us every day,
And guide us in our work and play.

Don't mean to unload all my childhood 'baggage' here, but seemed to be an appropriate thread. :eek:
 
I had the same exact problem as Di with math. For some reason anything beyond basic math was out of the realm of my comprehension. My mother spent hours with me on math homework thankfully and taught me division and fractions which I was struggling with. I finally got that and was alright until I got to the 6th grade. That was back in the day when you had one teacher all day until you reached junior high.

Miss Bolton..6th grade teacher, spinster, yellowish grey hair pulled back in a short pony tail with glasses perched on the end of her nose. I'll never forget her..she was a math fanatic and all she would teach all day was advanced math, (anything past fractions is advanced to me) with a few minutes of other subjects thrown in during the first part of the morning. How I dreaded that class and that woman every day that year.

I will never forget her shrill voice trilling out practically everyday..."You muuuuusssstt luuurrrn math!"

This was directed at a bunch of us math dummies in the class. One Asian girl was very sharp with math and was called on most of the time for the blackboard answers, and held up as a shining example to us dummies. I was just glad there was someone to field the heat for us. I think she passed a bunch of us just to be rid of us math dummies, hoping next years prospects would fulfill her fanatical obsession.

In high school I flunked General Math, a conglomeration of algebra, calculus and God knows what other torturous concoctions of crazy numbers and symbols. I was then shuffled off to a "bone head math" class which I managed to flunk twice, and you had to have passed one math class to graduate. The teacher probably recognized me for the hopeless case I was and likely jimmied the numbers around just to get me across the graduation stage.

Like Di, I had no problem with other subjects, but I really think Miss Bolton exacerbated my math mental block for any further future math success. "Yooouuuu muuuust luuurrrnnn math!" Bite me, Miss Bolton!

math_poster_how_i_see_math_word_problems-re7a82441c1eb4cbb9b88dd50a0429d05_x93tf_8byvr_324.jpg
 
Unload away SB. I thought it was dropoff point for all of life's experiences, we didn't get senior without being junior first did we?

That disbelief thing goes back a ways. My Mum never got over being called a liar by a teacher and laughed at by the class when she described the huge red kangaroos around where they once lived. In the Eastern States they're all grey and smaller than the inland variety and that was all anyone else had ever seen.
7' red ones were the stuff of fantasy to them. This was back in the 1920s so documentaries weren't around.

Mum arrived home in tears and when she told her parents why, her mother clucked about it but her father didn't say a word.

A few days later he walked into the schoolroom and proceeded to give the teacher and the class a lesson in Australian fauna and it's differing colours and size ranges.
He must have been really fired up as he was the strong silent type usually and had made arrangements to swap a shift at the mine just to be available in school hours. That must have taken some doing in those days.

Mum said she was so embarrassed she could have died but was also proud of him for it to the day she died.
 
Aww SeaBreeze, a sad little tale and a beautiful little poem. I can totally believe you wrote that poem, although it is deep for a third grader. I bet that teacher was never given any awards for nurturing talent in her students. Funny how those kinds of slights can cut to the core of a child, proven by you remembering every word of it after all these years.

A bit late, but here's a hug to the child in you for writing such a thoughtful poem.
 
We must share DNA somewhere back there OG

I often wish I'd been game to yell at maths whizzes... "why can't you draw anything?" "why are you too stupid to even draw a horse that doesn't look like a table with a vase on the end of it?" or "Why can't you write or spell a sentence or string two together that make sense at all?" "Why do you still write like 7 year olds?? " Why don't you have more than 50 words in your vocabulary??" "Are you stupid or something?"

Same thing isn't it? It depends on our wiring as to what we're good at, and we didn't have anything to do with stringing that together, it was hardwired in the womb. We can only play the cards we're dealt. How we play them involves yet another talent.
 
Yes, I would have loved to yell at that at the Asian girl, but she could probably do all those things excellently, too. Since I never got the chance to find out because of the math. Good thing I guess, because now I can fantasize that she couldn't.:rolleyes:

I did excel in art and was pretty good in English, but a lot of good it did me. I still haven't become a famous artist or best selling author:playful:
 
Make that triplets, i was appalling at maths and spent most of my time standing in the corner for failing to answer a maths question, no-one at home attempted to help me and the teachers didn't either, got through to Tech but left in 2nd form due to the mother walking out 18mths earlier, still shocking at maths but love art i always did well at school with that.
 
Those days are fading fast but I felt too many teachers were there for a paycheck and relied on their raw talent for a subject. I never had a good math teacher until college where they could break down a problem and trouble shoot precisely where people were going wrong.

In high school they simply would make you go back a chapter or two and do lots of extra problems. Also the math and science teachers didn't want to teach students who hadn't already chosen to be a math or science major in college(in the 10-11th grade?). One actually asked what are you doing here since I wasn't a 'declared' future math/science major. I told him I was told by school counselors to take the bare minimum math required by colleges. I've also heard advance placement teachers boast that all they have to do is give their students a book. I think this is part of the reason the US is behind in math and science.
 
What worries me about our school systems is that much of what they teach doesn't seem to apply to today's needs. I know that what was being taught between the 6th. grade and the 12th. when I was of school age didn't seem to be relevant to higher education. If I could jump from the 5th. grade to college, then something must be lacking. :tapfoot:
 
Ozarkgal said:
I had the same exact problem as Di with math. For some reason anything beyond basic math was out of the realm of my comprehension. My mother spent hours with me on math homework thankfully and taught me division and fractions which I was struggling with. I finally got that and was alright until I got to the 6th grade. That was back in the day when you had one teacher all day until you reached junior high.

Miss Bolton..6th grade teacher, spinster, yellowish grey hair pulled back in a short pony tail with glasses perched on the end of her nose. I'll never forget her..she was a math fanatic and all she would teach all day was advanced math, (anything past fractions is advanced to me) with a few minutes of other subjects thrown in during the first part of the morning. How I dreaded that class and that woman every day that year.

I will never forget her shrill voice trilling out practically everyday..."You muuuuusssstt luuurrrn math!"

This was directed at a bunch of us math dummies in the class. One Asian girl was very sharp with math and was called on most of the time for the blackboard answers, and held up as a shining example to us dummies. I was just glad there was someone to field the heat for us. I think she passed a bunch of us just to be rid of us math dummies, hoping next years prospects would fulfill her fanatical obsession.

In high school I flunked General Math, a conglomeration of algebra, calculus and God knows what other torturous concoctions of crazy numbers and symbols. I was then shuffled off to a "bone head math" class which I managed to flunk twice, and you had to have passed one math class to graduate. The teacher probably recognized me for the hopeless case I was and likely jimmied the numbers around just to get me across the graduation stage.

Like Di, I had no problem with other subjects, but I really think Miss Bolton exacerbated my math mental block for any further future math success. "Yooouuuu muuuust luuurrrnnn math!" Bite me, Miss Bolton!

math_poster_how_i_see_math_word_problems-re7a82441c1eb4cbb9b88dd50a0429d05_x93tf_8byvr_324.jpg
Click to expand...

The problem is early life and school career most students/kids don't have anything they can relate the math to. The practical application is lost. I partially blame that on teachers for not finding and using a real life examples. Also at the high school level you get a lot of teachers that were naturally good at a subject but still can't teach it. My strengths and weaknesses changed as an adult in college. I was poor at high school math including algebra and trigonometry yet in college with he right teachers I completed 3 calculus courses. Had one college teacher who said plane old fractions are the key to completing algebra and calculus. He would spend time just reviewing basic fraction problems in CALCULUS class. And it worked!

I think too many in education worry about finding something a student "likes" rather than how to teach a subject. Same for the students because that's how they're brought up to eventually find something they like so they can do it the rest of their life which is the worst thing you can do because both the teacher and student become lazy. To top it off just because you "want" to do it does not mean you will be able to or that it will be financially satisfying.
 

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