The divorce rate for those over fifty has doubled since 1990!

Ralphy1

Ralphy1

Well-known Member
Known as "grey or silver" divorces they are occurring due to the empowerment of women and longer life expectancies. Women usually initiate these divorces as they want freedom to spend their older years the way they want. Do you support this trend?
 

It's a pity that women can't find a way to empower themselves within the marriage.
For me, a lifetime commitment is for life and the vows I made at age 20 still bind me in my seventies.

However, everyone's marriage is unique to them and no-one should judge those who choose to leave theirs. They have their reasons.
 
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If a woman is being abused and denigrated in a marriage.. YES... I support her leaving.. and good for her.. Women shouldn't stay in an unhappy marriage just because. Why be miserable for the last part of your life with some mean old man?
 

The research shows that women leave for reasons like their emotional needs not being met, not wanting to stay in the usual role expectations, explore new opportunities in new locations, etc....
 
If a woman in unhappy in her marriage and it can't be fixed, divorce. I had two unhappy marriages which lasted 7 years each, so I'm not one to support staying in a bad marriage. I'm keeping number 3!
 
Ralphy1 said:
Known as "grey or silver" divorces they are occurring due to the empowerment of women and longer life expectancies. Women usually initiate these divorces as they want freedom to spend their older years the way they want. Do you support this trend?
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Yes.....how many older men leave their old wives for a younger one? I'd say they are having freedom to spend their older years the way they want, goose and gander and all that.
 
Research shows that women have affairs to gain more intimacy while men have affairs to gain more variety...
 
Hey! I want the lowdown on women who want variety! We all know about the men...
 
For the most part, I believe men and women view sex differently. It is said. Women need to feel loved to have sex.. and men need to have sex to feel loved. There is some truth in that I believe..
 
And you would be right according to all of the research that I have seen, especially that of Pepper Swartz who is now seventy and has done a ton of it...
 
Good grief, what is the problem with people divorcing even after many years of marriage, why should they stay and be unhappy. Some people stay in a bad marriage for religious reasons or social reasons or financial reasons, finally after they can't take it anymore they get out. Women, especially would put up with infidelity and abuse in the past because they were often financially dependent on the husbands, but that has changed. Now they often don't have a big brood of children to worry about and have jobs and money, so they are free to lose the louses. Better late than never, I say.
 
Why should folks that have spent many years together and raised a family decide to divorce? Probably lots of reasons but they also have reasons to stay together and those would be economics for sure. I am 82 and my wife is 85. After a divorce and division of properties and funds, neither of us would be able to buy a home. Neither of us would be able to rent a decent apartment for too many years. No matter how you look at it, for normal folks like the wife and I, we just can not afford a divorce. So, if it is not for avoiding beatings or other strong personal reasons it is just not worth it.

I have read too, that in our tax laws and our welfare laws that it can be better to be divorced than married. So that might also be a good reason for older folks to get divorces. You get a bigger payoff from welfare programs or your taxes might be lower rates.

If I had lots of money and unlimited incomes, then maybe it would be feasible to just separate/divorce and then start a new life.
 
I agree people often stay together for the money. I knew a couple who were still married and lived in the same house together, yet had separate spaces in that house, had their own boyfriend and girlfriend and lives, yet shared the house and the responsibility of their teenage kids living with them. Bizarre to me but it worked for them.
 
Maybe I'm "old fashioned", but I take the "till death do us part" thing seriously. After 50+ years of marriage, I am convinced that no two people can live under the same roof without having some disagreements...but the responsibility of marriage dictates that they make every attempt to resolve their issues. There are times when we drive each other up the wall, but I have learned to just back off, and find something to do in the garage or workshop for awhile, and let things cool off. We live a comfortable existence, but if we had to split everything down the middle, we would probably both be on food stamps....it's just not worth it, IMO. From what I've seen, its a tossup between health issues and divorce as to which causes more people financial problems.
 
It's not for us to judge one way or the other. They have every right to make the decision to seek a divorce. I don't think they do it on a whim.
 
It seem very popular for women to complain about bad spouses. I find that women seem to try to micromanage the good guys life.
Where the bad Guys seem to think they own their spouse.

No one owns anyone. The more they micromanage the more likely the spouse will move away.

If you set them free and they do not come back you did not have them in the first place. You had a prisoner.
 
The Inspector said:
It seem very popular for women to complain about bad spouses. I find that women seem to try to micromanage the good guys life.
Where the bad Guys seem to think they own their spouse.

No one owns anyone. The more they micromanage the more likely the spouse will move away.

If you set them free and they do not come back you did not have them in the first place. You had a prisoner.
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I have to agree with the Inspector. I consider my vows very serious and not something to walk away from lightly. On the other hand, they are not shackles but something entered into freely and I must be free to walk away if I choose to. The possibility of separation or divorce must be present if my free will is to be a reality. The secret of a long marriage is daily recommitment to the promises made long ago. If that is no longer possible, then the marriage is already dead.
 
I don't believe in "till death do us part", although I did 51 years ago when I said my wedding vows. There was also some "obey" crap in the vows too. We are not wealthy at all, but if we chose to split up we could each make it ok. (Especially if my husband found him a sugar mama :) We are together because we want to be. If my husband were to die and I were to remarry I would write my own simple vows and they wouldn't be anything like the ones I said 51 years ago.

I have a wealthy friend who has been complaining, since about 1975 when I first met her, about her husband and she's still going at it and he's about 80 now. She could easily live on her own financially speaking but she'd rather stay with him and complain. I imagine when he dies she'll play the grieving widow for all it's worth and all she has ever done is complain about what a bad husband he is. And the real sad thing is, he told her before they were married that he was gay, so what in the heck did she expect in the bedroom?
 

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