The Elderly Without Children

[Babs2u]

Today I called the woman who organizes our twice monthly brunches to see if we are meeting tomorrow. We are not. She had suffered a bad fall and just got out of the hospital after a six day stay. A stranger found her blacked out and called an ambulance. I am so sad for her troubles. She is such a good person.

I also wonder who can possibly step up and care for all those people she helps. We are mostly elderly. There were 14 of us at our last get together. Yes, we are motivated. We have great conversations but don't get to know each othe well enough over a meal. Some of us don't hear well. Others are forgetful.

 

[Babs2u]

PS Some have children. Others do not.

 

[Betty&Jeremy]

I make a distinction here between Senior Citizens and the Elderly because I feel Senior Citizens between 55 and 70 don’t have a good grasp on the accelerated aging changes that occur after 80. I worked full time until I was 70 and had little time or attention for those over 80. Like everyone else, I grew up thinking motivation was important and had its own rewards. But now that my body is weaker and more painful, I find motivation is gone, and I’ve tried to look around for some rewards to stimulate it and found none.

Those with children have the motivation to live as long as possible to be supportive as long as possible. But those without children don’t have the same motivation for continuous improvement of themselves or their property beyond basic maintenance. This loss of motivation affects younger Seniors as well who are without partners and children. One younger Senior living alone said why get motivated?? What is the payoff?? This is a good question. I can’t find a payoff. If you are in the Elderly category, have you found a payoff to get motivated??

Be open to dating a younger man if you are single as many younger man are seeking older woman. 5 years ago I met a wonderful younger man 40 years my junior. he was actually my neighbor who often helped me out. He eventually ask me to dinner and I couldn't say no, most especially with everything he has done for me.

We have been husband and wife for over 4 years now.it's been a wonderful relationship, we travel often and always holding hands and kissing in public, which is tough given our huge age difference, but our love comes ahead of all of that. I am not longer bored, we do a lot together and while it was embarrassing at first. especially for a conservative looking woman, I don't think about that anymore. Being happy is more important.

 

[TeePee]

I never had children nor really had the "biological" clock urge. My family had so many halves, wholes, and stepchildren, I was afraid my life would end up like that, and I wouldn't want a child to have to go through what I went through. Having said that, I loved my mother, don't get me wrong.

Anyway...having children doesn't guarantee that they will be there for you as you get older. Thank goodness most do, but some don't. Having worked for 30+ years with the elderly, I know of what I speak. I don't fear getting older alone because there are always people in the same boat as you and as long as your health holds up, there's always plenty to do if you want to do it. If your health declines, there's always someone whether it be friends, church people, or nursing staff to help get you through the rough times. That was my greatest satisfaction in nursing, was being there for someone who needed me. I hope when the time comes, there will be someone there for me.

 

[Lethe200]

...... I just gotta live longer to see where all those politically correct, uptight urbanites try to force us to walk their line of thinking?

As one of those "urbanites" you seem to despise, I have no idea why you think we are the slightest bit interested in how you live, as long as you try to be a fair, compassionate, caring human being who doesn't go around scaring the horses.

 

[Imogene]

I make a distinction here between Senior Citizens and the Elderly because I feel Senior Citizens between 55 and 70 don’t have a good grasp on the accelerated aging changes that occur after 80. I worked full time until I was 70 and had little time or attention for those over 80. Like everyone else, I grew up thinking motivation was important and had its own rewards. But now that my body is weaker and more painful, I find motivation is gone, and I’ve tried to look around for some rewards to stimulate it and found none.

Those with children have the motivation to live as long as possible to be supportive as long as possible. But those without children don’t have the same motivation for continuous improvement of themselves or their property beyond basic maintenance. This loss of motivation affects younger Seniors as well who are without partners and children. One younger Senior living alone said why get motivated?? What is the payoff?? This is a good question. I can’t find a payoff. If you are in the Elderly category, have you found a payoff to get motivated??

This is the original post on August 22, 2022.

The crux of the issue is motivation and “—have you found a payoff to get motivated??”.

***
My chiropractor, brought this very subject up today as she was adjusting me, which took her a bit of time to get me correct because I had spent a few days cleaning hay out from under the overhang thanks to my four wheelers being down and I got behind.

I was privileged to have my son for 19 years, until I lost him in a car accident. It was a good thing my horses were there to get me through that tragedy. They have been there for me from the time I was 10 years old and are still my motivation to get up, get dressed and get busy outside. The few remaining members of my family are non-horse people, but by this juncture in life they have come to understand that my horses are my motivation, and I will stay on this farm until my end time.

I am 78 so not too far away from that magic word of 80 the OP refers to. Yes things can go downhill quickly, or there are those of us that are already on the downhill slide due to trauma injury or health issues that nobody could’ve counted on. We are damn near at the end of the roller coaster ride by the time we all hit 80, we all have to pull ourselves up by our boot straps and put 1 foot in front of the other in some manner.

I should not be walking, but I keep going and it is my horses that keep me putting 1 foot in front of the other. The chiropractor told me I should start a blog on how to keep the elderly motivated since I am one. I told her I would either be preaching to the few in the choir, or the remainder would not listen because they would rather sit in their chair and complain.

so that is my motivation, my horses and of course, my dogs that are laying on my lap right now all 80 pounds of each of them because I have the electric blanket turned on.

Money is always an issue, or the lack of it. Not everybody can afford to have even a dog or a cat, so there must be other means of motivation. I have always had horses in my life, so I planned to have horses in my life when I retired and I have been very fortunate to be able to do that.

Unfortunately, husband passed away two years ago, which left me doing all the work. I don’t mind the work, but with the arthritic deterioration that I have it makes things very difficult. I could just quit. I could just give up. I could just send my horse down the road to the meat packer, but I am not going to do any of that.

I am going to put 1 foot in front of the other and keep going until my last horse and my dogs are laid to rest. That is my motivation.——-