The General Humor Thread

i can tell u a funny story. On my way to a job interview, on a train, noticed a bee flying around the window where i was sitting. I kept trying to wave it away. Guy in front of me, same thing. It disappeared. sitting in interview, i had a strange tickle feeling under my arm. i moved this way and that, trying to shake the feeling. Then I realized it was the bee, under my arm! I am panicking. The interviewer asks, are u alright? i said, i think there is a bee under my arm, like in my shirt. He jumps up, calls his secretary to follow me into ladies room. She has no idea what is the problem. I whip off my shirt, the bee flies out, she screams. I get myself together again and finish the interview. Turns out the interviewer was allergic. I did get the job (apparently i work well under pressure) and the story has been told many times.
 

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@Medusa 😆
 

A paraprosdokian is a sentence or statement with an unexpected ending.

It means “against expectations” in Greek.

Will glass coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma

There’s no menu - you get what you deserve.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday, but couldn't find any

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind

A maybe.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and I don't care.

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?

Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”

Need an ark?

I Noah guy.

You’re not completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example.

I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.

Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?

He was lucky it was a soft drink.

To the mathematician who thought of the idea of zero.

Thanks for nothing!

Son: "Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?" Dad: "No sun.”
 

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