The General Humor Thread

FREE SNOW SHOVELING CLASS:​
This Sunday , I will be holding a FREE snow shoveling class in my driveway. Come and join the class and learn about the proper ways to shovel. Reviewed techniques will include the scoop and throw method, the down and push method (AKA the plow technique), as well as the upside down scraping technique.

Don't miss out on this amazing opportunity to enhance your snow lifting techniques without throwing your back out! I will provide the driveway and multiple walkways/ sidewalks to ensure your training is conducted in the most life-like situation. I only ask that you bring your own shovel. Spaces are limited and handled on a first come, first served basis. PM for address!
😝
🤣
🤣
🤣
 
RadishRose said:
FREE SNOW SHOVELING CLASS:​
This Sunday , I will be holding a FREE snow shoveling class in my driveway. Come and join the class and learn about the proper ways to shovel. Reviewed techniques will include the scoop and throw method, the down and push method (AKA the plow technique), as well as the upside down scraping technique.

Don't miss out on this amazing opportunity to enhance your snow lifting techniques without throwing your back out! I will provide the driveway and multiple walkways/ sidewalks to ensure your training is conducted in the most life-like situation. I only ask that you bring your own shovel. Spaces are limited and handled on a first come, first served basis. PM for address!
😝
🤣
🤣
🤣
Click to expand...
Okay, Tom Sawyer.
 
Two old guys, one 82 and one 85, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 85-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 82-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 85-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies.”
So, on the way home the 82-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any rye bread?”
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?”
He said, "I want five loaves.”
She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard.”
The old man says to himself, ‘I can't believe everybody knows about this stuff but me.’
 
For his wife's birthday, he orders a cake with this inscription:
"You're not getting older,
"You're getting better."
When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, "Just put

"You are not getting older at the top and You are just getting better at the bottom."
It wasn't until the guy was ready to serve the cake that he discovered it read:

"YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP, YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM."
 

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