The General Humor Thread

Bill’s quest:

Bill was driving down a remote country road one day. He’s in the middle of nowhere, a long way from home when, as luck would have it, his car breaks down near a monastery.

So Bill walks over to the monastery and knocks on the door.

The door is opened by one of the monks and Bill explains his predicament.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” says Bill, “but I’m a long way from home, my car’s broken down and I can’t get a repairman today because it’s Sunday. Would it be possible for me to stay the night, here at the monastery?“

Bill is graciously accepted by the monks and they’re happy for him to spend the night there. He’s invited to have dinner with them and, as they’re very resourceful, they even fix his car for him.

After Bill has retired to his room for the night, and as he’s trying to fall asleep, he hears a strange but seductive sound.

It’s a sound, unlike anything he’s ever heard before.

It’s a sound so seductive that Bill is reminded of the Sirens of Greek mythology, who lured sailors with their enchanting music and singing voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast.

Well, Bill cannot sleep that night for thinking about what he’s just heard. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a strange but seductive sound.

As you’d expect, at breakfast, Bill feels compelled to ask the monks about the sound he’d heard during the night.

The Abbot, sitting at the head of the table, smiles benevolently at Bill and responds to his question by saying, “Unfortunately, we cannot tell you because you’re not a monk.”

Bill is really disappointed by this response but he thanks the monks for their hospitality and, having finished breakfast, he leaves the monastery.

However, the matter doesn’t end there.

Bill cannot forget the hypnotic allure of this beautiful, seductive sound. So, a year later, he just has to go back to the monastery and plead with the monks to tell him more about this strange sound.

Once again, the response from the Abbot is, “Unfortunately, we cannot tell you because you’re not a monk.”

Bill is desperate, so he says to the Abbot, “Look if the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk.”

“Before you can join our monastery,” says the Abbot, “you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are in total and the exact number of grains of sand there are too. When you’ve found the answers to these questions, only then will you be ready to become a monk.“

Bill realises it won’t be easy but, nevertheless, he sets about his task with the aim of becoming a monk.

Years later, he’s now getting old, but Bill is back knocking on the door of the monastery.

The door is answered and Bill is taken to the Abbot.

“In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I’ve travelled the earth as you requested,” says Bill. “Reflecting on the questions you asked me to answer, I’ve come to realise that the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self-deception.“

“Congratulations!” says the Abbot. “You’re now ready to become a monk and join our monastery.”

“Can I now know the mystery of the sacred sound?” asks Bill.

“Indeed you can,” the Abbot responds. “Follow me.”

The Abbot then leads Bills down a long, dark corridor, at the end of which is an old wooden door.

“The source of the sound is beyond this door,” says the Abbot, as he hands Bill a key.

Bill then opens the door, only to find that behind it is another door made of stone.

The Abbot hands Bill another key and he opens it, only to find yet another door this time one that is encrusted with emeralds.

Well, the process goes on and Bill finds a series of doors, encrusted with various precious gems, including pearls, sapphires, rubies and diamonds. He’s given keys for each and he opens each one.

Finally, Bill reaches a door that is made of solid gold.

He can now hear the strange and seductive sound clearly as the Abbot hands him the final key.

“This is the last key to the last door,” says the Abbot. “On the other side of this door is the source of the sound that has enchanted you so much, for so long.”

Bill is feeling a little apprehensive at this point, after all, the answer he’s been seeking for so long is behind this door.

With trembling hands, Bill unlocks the door, turns the knob, and pushes the door open, slowly.

He falls to his knees in amazement, as he finally discovers the source of that haunting, seductive and beautiful sound.

And what is the source?

Unfortunately, we cannot tell you because you’re not a monk.
 
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