The General Humor Thread

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There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large,
trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and
gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I
burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I
can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete
failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I
went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I
don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took
home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog
bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to
it all, I buy a drink, I drop a cyanide capsule in and sit here
watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink
the whole damn thing! But hell, enough about me, how are
you doing?"
 

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