The General Humor Thread

[Nathan]

View attachment 440086

Oh shoot, I thought the last couple month's were August!

 

[Nathan]

 

[Nathan]

 

[OregonGuy]

 

[RadishRose]

 

[RadishRose]

 

[RadishRose]

 

[Trila]

 

[Trila]

 

[oscash]

DURING MY CHECK-UP I ASKED THE DOCTOR, "DO YOU THINK I'LL LIVE A LONG AND HEALTHY LIFE THEN?
"I DOUBT IT SOMEHOW; MERCURY IS IN URANUS RIGHT NOW"
I SAID, 'I DON'T GO FOR ALL THE ASTROLOGY NONSENSE'
HE REPLIED, "NEITHER DO I - MY THERMOMETER JUST BROKE'.

 

[oscash]

THE PHONE RANG AND THE WIFE ANSWERED IT.
A PERVERT BREATHING HARD SAYS 'I BET YOU'VE GOT A TIGHT A$$ WITH NO HAIR?"
"YES, I DO, HE IS WATCHING T.V... DID YOU WANT TO SPEAK TO HIM?"

 

[OldFeller]

DURING MY CHECK-UP I ASKED THE DOCTOR, "DO YOU THINK I'LL LIVE A LONG AND HEALTHY LIFE THEN?
"I DOUBT IT SOMEHOW; MERCURY IS IN URANUS RIGHT NOW"
I SAID, 'I DON'T GO FOR ALL THE ASTROLOGY NONSENSE'
HE REPLIED, "NEITHER DO I - MY THERMOMETER JUST BROKE'.

Scotty: "Captain! There's Klingons around Uranus!"

 

[OregonGuy]

 

[Paladin1950]

 

[KSav]

View attachment 440100

That's a law in NYS, too; at least, it used to be. When I was learning to drive, my mother got it backwards and insisting that every time your wipers were on, your headlights had to be, too. I was like, "What??"

 

[Paladin1950]

 

[Pappy]

 

[KSav]

That's a law in NYS, too; at least, it used to be. When I was learning to drive, my mother got it backwards and insisting that every time your wipers were on, your headlights had to be, too. I was like, "What??"

Oh my goodness: Now I got it backwards. She actually claimed that every time your headlights were on, your wipers had to be on. Arrrgggh.

 

[OregonGuy]

 

[OldFeller]

Oh my goodness: Now I got it backwards. She actually claimed that every time your headlights were on, your wipers had to be on. Arrrgggh.

The logic is like this. If you need to use wipers, its raining. If its raining, its overcast, and therefore darker than ordinary daylight. So to be safe, have your headlights on (which helps other drivers notice your vehicle) when its cloudy and overcast. A steady rain reduces visibilty so tail lights help to avoid colisions.

 

[Deya]

 

[Deya]

 

[KSav]

The logic is like this. If you need to use wipers, its raining. If its raining, its overcast, and therefore darker than ordinary daylight. So to be safe, have your headlights on (which helps other drivers notice your vehicle) when its cloudy and overcast. A steady rain reduces visibilty so tail lights help to avoid colisions.

Yes, I'm well aware of the logic that underlies the law, @OldFeller.

I was joking because my mother had erroneously told me that whenever you have your headlights on you must have your wipers on. But I typed my post too fast and made the same mistake myself.

 

[Deya]

 

[Paladin1950]

Oh my goodness: Now I got it backwards. She actually claimed that every time your headlights were on, your wipers had to be on. Arrrgggh.

Here in New York, I never have my lights on when it's raining. I discovered a police car behind me as I was coming home. He had his wipers on, but not his headlights. So I didn't have to worry about it. Probably one of those silly laws that no one enforces.