The General Humor Thread
- Thread starter JonSR77
- Start date
Pappy
Living the Dream
Lewkat
Senior Member
- Location
- New Jersey, USA
Dr.Colosso
Senior Member
Last edited:
Dr.Colosso
Senior Member
Dr.Colosso
Senior Member
I'm searching for a little booklet, so I can read it to my grandson.
I have a booklet 2.0. You have to read it out loud.
The little fireman.
The alarm was going off. Oh it's a real alarm!
They went in the car and there was already smoke. Oh it's real smoke!
Dr.Colosso
Senior Member
RadishRose
SF VIP
- Location
- Connecticut, USA
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
debodun
SF VIP
- Location
- way upstate in New York, USA
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Dr.Colosso
Senior Member
Trila
Well-known Member
- Location
- North Central Arkansas
jeff
Member
- Location
- Ashford Kent
Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house
and asked, 'Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same
bedroom and one is on top of the other?'
His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him the truth.
'Well, Hunter, it's called sexual intercourse.’
‘Oh,’ Little Hunter said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandpa, it isn't called
sexual intercourse,. It's called Bunk Beds ,
And Jimmy’s mom wants to talk to you.'
He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house
and asked, 'Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same
bedroom and one is on top of the other?'
His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him the truth.
'Well, Hunter, it's called sexual intercourse.’
‘Oh,’ Little Hunter said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandpa, it isn't called
sexual intercourse,. It's called Bunk Beds ,
And Jimmy’s mom wants to talk to you.'
Pappy
Living the Dream
Flarbalard
Senior Member
AMEN !
Dr.Colosso
Senior Member
An oldie for sure but always good for a giggle:
My cousin has two tickets for the 2026 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $4000 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
My cousin has two tickets for the 2026 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $4000 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
jeff
Member
- Location
- Ashford Kent
*****
Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury’s store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I’d lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter’s arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I’m now banned from Sainsbury’s.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
Forward this especially to all your retired friends. it will be their laugh for the day
Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury’s store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I’d lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter’s arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I’m now banned from Sainsbury’s.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
Forward this especially to all your retired friends. it will be their laugh for the day