The General Humor Thread

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What's wrong with this dog? My dog loves tomatoes. (but not greens)
 

An English man, a Scot, and an Irishman were captured by cannibals, and taken before the village chief.

He looked at them, and asked one “Where are you from?”

“Why, I'm from jolly old England!” the Brit declared.

“Put him in the pot!” ordered the chief, and in he went.

Turning his attention to the remaining 2, he asked the same question.

The Scot replied that he was from the Scottish Highlands.

“Put him in the pot!” ordered the chief, again, andvin went the Scot.

Looking at the last captive, the chief asked once more “Where are you from?”

“Why I'm form the Emerald Island of Ireland, of course!” he said.

The chief frowned, and instructed several of the strongest village men to take him far from the village, and turn him loose.

As the pit was being filled with water, and vegetables, the English man complained “I say; why do we stay,cwhile he goes free?”

The chief scowled at him, and told him “The last Irishman ate all the potatoes!”
 
Two brooms were hanging in the closet.....

after a while they got to know each other so well,

they decided to get married.

One broom was,

of course,

the bride broom,

the other,

the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress.

The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo.

The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding,

at the wedding dinner,

the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom:

'I think I am going to have a little broom!'

'IMPOSSIBLE !'

said the groom broom.

Are you ready for this?

Brace yourself; this is going to hurt!!!!!!

'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!'
 
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