The General Humor Thread

Pappy said:
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a realtor who was out driving on a back road on his way to look at some property and suddenly noticed down beside him was a chicken keeping pace with him, and he was doing 60 miles an hour. And suddenly the chicken spurted out ahead of him. And it looked to him as if the chicken had three legs. And then it turned and went down a side road and into a barnyard. And the driver turned down that lane, drove into the barnyard. There was a farmer there and he asked him, 'Did you see a chicken go by here?' And the farmer says 'Yep.' 'Did it have three legs?' 'Yep. I raise them that way. I breed them.' ''

Then the realtor asks, '' 'You do? How come?' 'Well, I just love the drumstick and Maw always liked the drumstick and now Junior's come along and he likes it and we just got tired of fighting over it. So I've been breeding three-legged chickens.' '' The realtor then asks, '' 'Well how do they taste?' '' And the farmer replies, '' 'I don't know. I haven't been able to catch one yet.' ''
 
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At bedtime, the 81-year-old woman said to her 83-year-old husband:

"I just looked out the window, and I think the garage light is on. Would you get up and turn it off?"

With great difficulty, the old man got out of bed, opened the door, and went outside. He saw five burglars tampering with the garage door. He immediately called the police station.

"Take down my address. It’s just my wife and me here, and five or six thieves are attacking my garage. Please send a police team quickly!"

The dispatcher replied, "No one is available right now. I'll send someone as soon as I can get a team."

Frustrated, the old man watched the burglars struggling with the garage locks. Two minutes later, he called the police station again.

"There's no need to send anyone now. I’ve shot all of them."

The police station erupted in chaos. Within five minutes, a police team arrived in the street with a helicopter, paramedics, three doctors, and two ambulances. Soon, they had the criminals under control. Later, the team leader casually walked up to the old man and asked,

"You said you shot them, didn’t you?"

"And you said no team was available."
 
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