Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
The General Humor Thread
- Thread starter JonSR77
- Start date
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
RadishRose
SF VIP
- Location
- Connecticut, USA
RadishRose
SF VIP
- Location
- Connecticut, USA
RadishRose
SF VIP
- Location
- Connecticut, USA
Paladin1950
Still love 50's & 60's music!
- Location
- Mohawk Valley, NY
Nathan
SF VIP
- Location
- High Desert- Calif.
A 'must have' for any grade school boy!
RadishRose
SF VIP
- Location
- Connecticut, USA
Paladin1950
Still love 50's & 60's music!
- Location
- Mohawk Valley, NY
Paladin1950
Still love 50's & 60's music!
- Location
- Mohawk Valley, NY
A man returns home unexpectedly from a business trip, arriving well past midnight. As he nears his house, he grows suspicious and hails a cab.
"Listen," he tells the cab driver, "I think my wife might be cheating on me. If you’ll act as a witness, I’ll pay you £50."
The cab driver agrees, intrigued by the unusual proposition.
The two quietly enter the house, tiptoeing up to the bedroom. With his heart pounding, the man bursts into the room, flips on the lights, and yanks back the covers. Sure enough, there’s his wife in bed with another man.
Fuming, the husband pulls out a gun and points it at the stranger.
The wife screams, "Wait! Don’t shoot! I have something to tell you!"
The husband hesitates, and she hurriedly continues. "I lied about the inheritance money! HE’s the one who paid for everything. The Porsche I gave you, the Ranger fishing boat, the football season tickets, the house by the lake, your golf trip to St. Andrews, the 4x4, and even the country club membership—he’s the one funding it all!"
The husband, stunned by this revelation, lowers the gun. Turning to the cab driver, he asks, "What would you do in my situation?"
The cab driver, unfazed, thinks for a moment and replies, "I’d cover him up before he catches a cold."
"Listen," he tells the cab driver, "I think my wife might be cheating on me. If you’ll act as a witness, I’ll pay you £50."
The cab driver agrees, intrigued by the unusual proposition.
The two quietly enter the house, tiptoeing up to the bedroom. With his heart pounding, the man bursts into the room, flips on the lights, and yanks back the covers. Sure enough, there’s his wife in bed with another man.
Fuming, the husband pulls out a gun and points it at the stranger.
The wife screams, "Wait! Don’t shoot! I have something to tell you!"
The husband hesitates, and she hurriedly continues. "I lied about the inheritance money! HE’s the one who paid for everything. The Porsche I gave you, the Ranger fishing boat, the football season tickets, the house by the lake, your golf trip to St. Andrews, the 4x4, and even the country club membership—he’s the one funding it all!"
The husband, stunned by this revelation, lowers the gun. Turning to the cab driver, he asks, "What would you do in my situation?"
The cab driver, unfazed, thinks for a moment and replies, "I’d cover him up before he catches a cold."
Pappy
Living the Dream
1. As I got older, life finally started to click for me... well, at least my knees, back and neck did.
2. "Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." — John Wagner
3. Why did the old man fall into a well?
Answer: He couldn't see that well.
4. You know you're old when someone calls at 9 p.m. and asks if they woke you.
5. "It's tough getting older. I went into an antique store, and they wouldn't let me leave." — Andy Huggins
6. What do you call someone who's happy on a Monday?
Answer: Retired!
7. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
8. Don't mess with old people, because life in prison is no longer really a deterrent.
9. You know you're old when your back goes out more than you do.
10. "Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get." — Robert Orben
11. The older I get, the more I start making the same noises as my coffee maker.
12. "I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody." — George Burns
2. "Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." — John Wagner
3. Why did the old man fall into a well?
Answer: He couldn't see that well.
4. You know you're old when someone calls at 9 p.m. and asks if they woke you.
5. "It's tough getting older. I went into an antique store, and they wouldn't let me leave." — Andy Huggins
6. What do you call someone who's happy on a Monday?
Answer: Retired!
7. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
8. Don't mess with old people, because life in prison is no longer really a deterrent.
9. You know you're old when your back goes out more than you do.
10. "Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get." — Robert Orben
11. The older I get, the more I start making the same noises as my coffee maker.
12. "I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody." — George Burns
Paladin1950
Still love 50's & 60's music!
- Location
- Mohawk Valley, NY
