The General Humor Thread

I saw a bunch on bored panda:

Why did the half blind man fall into a well?
He didn't see that well.

Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says: I don't know how to drive this thing.

My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

Why don't ants get sick? They have little antybodies.

When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it's apparent.

My ex wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.

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