The "Granny suite"... anyone living in a semi-detached unit with a child or relative?

AlbertC

AlbertC

New Member
Location
Canada
I have a son who owns a beautiful downtown victorian home that was divided by the pervious owners into two suites: the main home, but then a semi-detached extension with its own private entrance, kitchen, washroom, etc. My son rents the suite to students, but has suggested a few times that after some rennovations I might someday like to live there.

I'm enjoying my condominium at the moment (my son's house is nice, but it doesn't have an indoor pool!) but can't decide how I would feel about this.

My son is quite easygoing, I don't think the arrangement would be difficult or patronizing, but, well, you know, there's a bit of a stigma to the "granny suite", I think. Has anyone else been thinking about this as well?
 

I am in a similar position. I live in an apartment complex that is really close to a bus terminal so it is quite convenient for getting to the doctors, grocery store, or anywhere I need to go. However my financial standing is not the best so that would be the main reason I would move in with my daughter. It would also be great as I would see my grandson much more often and be able to help her around the house.

I personally haven't thought what society says about my living situation, but, in all honesty, I am seventy-two and really gotten past how others see me. I have done my service to my family, my country, and now it is my time to relax and enjoy all that I have accomplished.
 
It would certainly be nice to re-connect with family as "neighbours", I agree!
 

I'd think about it carefully. Once you move in, you're not apt to move back out. And if you use the heated pool and other amenities -- and aren't lonely or cash strapped -- it may just be that now's not the time. I might tell my son, "Let's revisit this in X amount of time. It's a good idea, but not just yet." He'll be happy you are taking the offer seriously and you'll maintain some privacy and freedom until you want to release it.
 
My brother moved in with my nephew a few years ago after the death of his wife. His situation is a bit different - shared kitchen/private living/bath/bedroom areas. They have always got along well, but there have been a few times where he says that he misses living on his own. I would really have to say that it probably depends on how well you get along in the first place.
 
I`m thinking the same answer as phughes has said in the post.. its an excellent idea but timing is not right time yet.. maybe look at the option in a year or two .. its really better all round to keep your independence as long as you can, as long as your not lonely and can manage ok on your own ... thats my idea ...
 
Rainee said:
I`m thinking the same answer as phughes has said in the post.. its an excellent idea but timing is not right time yet.. maybe look at the option in a year or two .. its really better all round to keep your independence as long as you can, as long as your not lonely and can manage ok on your own ... thats my idea ...
Click to expand...

Yes to all of that Rainee. I am there right now, and I understand the mental challenges ahead, being alone. Hope it's years before I feel overwhelmed by my living situation ... large home, big yard, pool, animals, everyday maintenance that all used to be shared until my husband's recent death.. For now, I can face it all, and don't want my kids to feel obligated or worried about things. They are super, and jump in with help at the slightest mention of any problem. But they need to live their lives, and I want to live mine - separately, as long as possible.
Senior Power ..:yeah:
 
I sold my beautiful 4 bedroom home and moved 1200kms to buy a home with my daughter and her husband that included a granny flat, i was going to live in it, due to the son in law's childish antics i am now living in a villa in a holiday park and very unhappy and isolated, so a big lesson learned never move for your kids do what you want to do, bugger the kids.
 
Jillaroo said:
I sold my beautiful 4 bedroom home and moved 1200kms to buy a home with my daughter and her husband that included a granny flat, i was going to live in it, due to the son in law's childish antics i am now living in a villa in a holiday park and very unhappy and isolated, so a big lesson learned never move for your kids do what you want to do, bugger the kids.
Click to expand...

So sorry it turned out that way Jillaroo. ..it's not fair .. they can't feel your heartache until it's their turn.

I think making any life changes needs to be done very slowly, and thought through to the umpteenth degree, if at all possible.
 
I think it very generous and considerate of your son to offer. Only you can decide if this would be good for you but whatever you do, do not let the idea of a stigma play any part in your decision..who cares what others may think, it is your life not theirs.

At a certain age we need to give up worrying about others opinions and do what is best for us.
Good luck and God Bless your son..not all kids would be so accommodating..
 
I have a friend whose son built a very nice apartment over their garage with a chair lift. She is 88 and loves being with the grands as they visit her during their comings and goings. She has her privacy and eats with them when she wants to and stays in her apartment when she wants to. It works for them.
 
Hope to be on our own till the end. Of course that means one of us will likely be alone so still thinking of that.
 
We just stayed in what I call 'the old crows nest' detachment at my daughters last week for Thanksgiving. SIL said it was for us or his mother, I just smiled and said I'm fixing up the old camper. It is a 1.3 million dollar home.
Don't plan on that being on the bucket list place to kick the bucket.
We do love em but don't want to be tied down there.
 
One of my old work supervisors lived in a "granny" apartment attached to her sons house. She paid rent, had her own entrance, laundry room and all. It helped she got along well with both her son and DIL, and in fact they would all do Sunday dinner a couple times a month. She and DIL would share cooking . At the time there were no plans for it to be forever. She had always said when the time came she had trouble caring for herself, she would probably move to assisted living, or something.
 
I've had a standing offer for my own apartment on 8 acres out in the country, 22 miles from a large city. But it's in Europe where I don't speak the language and I'd like to be in the city in my declining years. My other 2 children have both invited me to live with them if I need/want to but I think I tend to get on people's nerves and hope I can stay on my own till I pass away.
 
There's alone, and then there's ALONE! I believe that living in the same house as my daughter's family might be OK for me, one of these days, as long as I could come and go as I please, have my own bathroom, my own kitchenette, which could be a small refrigerator, microwave and hot plate on a counter. Hopefully, my life will see me and the gf staying in our house until we leave this world, but you never know.
 
My Daughter says that she will build a granny annexe on her house for me if I end up alone... and although it sounds nice in practice, I love my daughter, and I'd always have someone to be there in an Emergency, I'm not sure I'd like it tho' , she's wayyyy too bossy.... :D
 
I have no interest in that arrangement at this time, but who knows what the future holds. My son has a nice place of 22 acres near Austin; he has full hookups installed for when we visit in our motorhome. That may come in handy some day. :D
 
i made the mistake of moving in with my kids---i dont have my own room i have to sleep in the living room--i sold my mobile home several years ago and the people who bought it wanted to move in right away so i moved in with my daughter and s il--worse move i ever made my daughter and i get along fine--now i cant find anything i can afford--i am stuck
 
twinkles said:
i made the mistake of moving in with my kids---i dont have my own room i have to sleep in the living room--i sold my mobile home several years ago and the people who bought it wanted to move in right away so i moved in with my daughter and s il--worse move i ever made my daughter and i get along fine--now i cant find anything i can afford--i am stuck
Click to expand...


Oh no, that must be very awkward sleeping in the living room of your daughters' home twinkles ... I hope you can find something else soon
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top