The Holiday Season Saddens Me

L

Lon

Well-known Member
Location
Central California
I am for the most part, a positive and up beat guy, but for some reason or other I am sad during the Holiday Season and I am not really sure why, other than most of the un happy and un pleasant memories of my past occured during the Xmas Season both as a youth and young adult.
 

I don't think you're alone in your feelings Lon, I think the holiday season is either sad or bittersweet for many of us, especially as we get older, for various reasons.
 
Like, what Sea said the season is that way for many of us. So far, I'm doing better this year than others, but, that's not to say, I'm not having my moments, but, there've been a few people in my life, whom have been a great help in making the days more bearable.

I have an engagement, I'm supposed to attend this coming weekend, I've been talking myself in and out of following through since I agreed to go. I'm just not up to all the cheer of the group, but, I know, once there, I'll likely enjoy myself, but at the moment, I just want to stay home and not deal with the those smiley happy people and one in particular. Sigh. I'll probably go, unless my back gives out. :D ;)
 

Yes, I agree, it is bittersweet for me. I miss my parents so much that it hurts like Hell. I have been to a psychologist for this reason, but they can't help me over this hump in my life. I miss them all year, but come Christmas, it is actually painful because that was our most joyous time together as a family. My Dad was in the service for all of my childhood life, but he was a Christmas kind of guy with decorating and food preparations, celebrating and just everything about Christmas was him. I had trains (electric) that I would put up on a platform at Christmas time with a little village built around it and a mountain and some working equipment also. It was a really neat set-up. I would sometimes catch my Dad playing with them after I went to bed, but never said anything. My Mom did all the cooking and baking and I mean baking. The day after Thanksgiving, you would find my Dad stringing lights on the house and shrubbery with me by his side testing the lights and untangling the mess from the year before. What a festive occasion we had. My Dad was my best friend and I speak to him often when I visit his grave. The psychologist had me write a letter to my Dad and read it to him at his grave. It was supposed to shed me of my separation issues, but it didn't work. I felt worse and almost wanted to die right there, so I could be with him, if that was even possible. That was my last visit to the psychologist. Yeah, I got it bad. This is the demon that I live with. After that comes Vietnam.

For the sake of my family, (wife, children and grandchildren), I put on a good face all the while trying to fight back the tears. I only ever shared this with my psychologist and Pastor. It feels good to talk about it, but I have to be careful who I talk to. Most people don't understand. I have heard others say similar things while talking to people in a group that I may have been part of and when they walk away, they are made fun of by those that the person just spoke with. I think to myself, "I am never going to tell anyone about my issues." I feel safe here. Nobody knows me and that is a good thing. When I worked at the airline and would have to fly on Christmas Eve, I would feel very close to my parents being at 35,000 feet in the air. It was comforting.

There, I have bared my soul. Sorry to have hijacked the thread.
 
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Wife and I have each other and that makes for a VERY Merry Christmas for us. We've been to two church Christmas Programs and was at our apt. complex Christmas Party last night. All three were great!

I've already said this in a "Christmas Decorating" Thread, but will say it here.........when I was single/divorced, and wasn't involved with a girl, I didn't celebrate Christmas at all. Went to a couple of really nice company Christmas Party's, but that was it. I also bought some gifts for myself. Christmas Day was just another "day off" for me. Kind of made me depressed, but not a lot.
 
The Holliday Season saddens me and I can not say why. I'm always glad when it's over.

On another note, did I get in on 2012 or have you stopped writing this blog: www.thoughtsandtravels.blogspot.com
I saw two or three trips in your travels, that appeared to be an adventure for a lifetime. What I read I enjoyed. Cheers.
 
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Me too, Lon. I have found that if I keep Christmas to a minimum and focus on what I am going to do the first part of the year I manage it alot better. I make all kinds of plans for myself: gardening plots, get my plans on paper, organize my seeds; plans to throw junk out or donate, organize the closets; start a new exercise. I'm sure these things sound boring to many people, but these are interesting to me and it keeps my mind on more positive things. I, also, never watch Christmas TV shows and I limit listening to Christmas music to about 5 songs (that's all I can take).
 
The holidays always make me feel sadly nostalgic, and a bit drained when they are over. I ignore as much of the hoo-ha as I can. Anything I try to do seems to fall flat, or feel like it does.

I completely ignore New Year's.
 
I have a hard time accepting that the holidays are not going to be like they used to be. Family has scattered all over the world or go away for Christmas. Every year, I tell myself to stop longing for the past; every year I long for the past anyway. This one was the Christmas from hell. I'm going to have a good one next year if it kills me....
 
I'm not fond of the season either, but I did exceptionally well this past Christmas day, not every moment was great, but the day itself wasn't so much a problem and wouldn't be for the fact that it just really difficult to not notice all the other people getting together with their families and I know I'm a broken record on the matter, but, I so miss my siblings every day, but even more so on the holidays. Doesn't help that three of them had birthdays during this time. Today is one of my sister's birthdays, New Year's day is another of my sister's birthday and my brother's is coming up a few days later. I won't sit around and mope about it, but, I do miss them so much and it does sadden me at times when I see all the cheery families around town and on tv pretty difficult to ignore when everywhere I go everyone is asking your are your ready, did you finish all your shopping and a barrage of other questions pertaining to the day every single minute you walk out your door. :):D:D:dontworry::woohoo1::bounce::pepper: I just smile and say :thankyou1: and wish them the same and feel mostly empty, not annoyed, just empty in the moment.

But, I am happy to say, I got through the day feeling just fine and soon it will all be over till next year. Good luck with finding a place to escape to that you aren't inundated with holiday greetings, this has become nearly a worldwide phenomenon. I've thought about maybe a psyche ward for a holiday repreve during the holiday season, but, there's no app for that. LOL
 
I'm not fond of the season either, but I did exceptionally well this past Christmas day, not every moment was great, but the day itself wasn't so much a problem and wouldn't be for the fact that it just really difficult to not notice all the other people getting together with their families and I know I'm a broken record on the matter, but, I so miss my siblings every day, but even more so on the holidays. Doesn't help that three of them had birthdays during this time. Today is one of my sister's birthdays, New Year's day is another of my sister's birthday and my brother's is coming up a few days later. I won't sit around and mope about it, but, I do miss them so much and it does sadden me at times when I see all the cheery families around town and on tv pretty difficult to ignore when everywhere I go everyone is asking your are your ready, did you finish all your shopping and a barrage of other questions pertaining to the day every single minute you walk out your door. :):D:D:dontworry::woohoo1::bounce::pepper: I just smile and say :thankyou1: and wish them the same and feel mostly empty, not annoyed, just empty in the moment.

But, I am happy to say, I got through the day feeling just fine and soon it will all be over till next year. Good luck with finding a place to escape to that you aren't inundated with holiday greetings, this has become nearly a worldwide phenomenon. I've thought about maybe a psyche ward for a holiday repreve during the holiday season, but, there's no app for that. LOL
 
jujube said:
I have a hard time accepting that the holidays are not going to be like they used to be. Family has scattered all over the world or go away for Christmas. Every year, I tell myself to stop longing for the past; every year I long for the past anyway. This one was the Christmas from hell. I'm going to have a good one next year if it kills me....
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I also had the Christmas day from hell this year. It was just awful. Better I shoulda stayed home with Netflix. Next year I will either hibernate or go somewhere else, or something.
 
Catching up with this thread almost a year later :). As SeaBreeze said, Lon, you are not alone in your feelings. The holidays are a time for family gatherings, and for those of us without family or family too far away to share in the festivities with, it can be a very lonely time of year.
 
When we were without family for some years, on Xmas Day we took ourselves out for the day, not to a restaurant to have our noses rubbed in it,but to our favourite spots like a walk in the park or along the beach. Being summertime I took cold ham, tomatoes, cold spuds and we had our xmas 'lunch' there. It certainly was a lot easier on us and the day passed quite quickly.
 
We are having my daughter and 10 year old G/D up for a few days before Christmas, they have to go home to Adelaide on C/D as she has a shared custody with her ex. We had son DIL and two young children last year and year before they ate me out of food left the house a mess that's what thanks I get for shouting them a two week holiday near the beach , so we said no more the fool ...and besides I haven't been well enough to even think about visitors other than my daughter and GD my daughter is really good she hops in and helps
 
AprilT said:
I'm not fond of the season either, but I did exceptionally well this past Christmas day, not every moment was great, but the day itself wasn't so much a problem and wouldn't be for the fact that it just really difficult to not notice all the other people getting together with their families and I know I'm a broken record on the matter, but, I so miss my siblings every day, but even more so on the holidays. Doesn't help that three of them had birthdays during this time. Today is one of my sister's birthdays, New Year's day is another of my sister's birthday and my brother's is coming up a few days later. I won't sit around and mope about it, but, I do miss them so much and it does sadden me at times when I see all the cheery families around town and on tv pretty difficult to ignore when everywhere I go everyone is asking your are your ready, did you finish all your shopping and a barrage of other questions pertaining to the day every single minute you walk out your door. :):D:D:dontworry::woohoo1::bounce::pepper: I just smile and say :thankyou1: and wish them the same and feel mostly empty, not annoyed, just empty in the moment.

But, I am happy to say, I got through the day feeling just fine and soon it will all be over till next year. Good luck with finding a place to escape to that you aren't inundated with holiday greetings, this has become nearly a worldwide phenomenon. I've thought about maybe a psyche ward for a holiday repreve during the holiday season, but, there's no app for that. LOL
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Rince and repeat
 
Seasonal affective disorder

For me the holidays are stressful and a bit depressing- am still reliving the nightmare of child custody and visitation, even-though my kids are adults. Sounds petty, it is. But, it is my reality, my hell on Earth.

For some there is Seasonal affective disorder
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as winter depression, winter blues, summer depression,summertime sadness, or seasonal depression, is a mood disorder subset in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year experience depressive symptoms in the winter or summer.[SUP][1][/SUP]In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-IV and DSM-5, its status was changed. It is no longer classified as a unique mood disorder but is now a specifier called with seasonal pattern for recurrent major depressive disorder that occurs at a specific time of the year and fully remits otherwise.[SUP][2][/SUP] Although experts were initially skeptical, this condition is now recognized as a common disorder.[SUP][3][/SUP] SAD's prevalence in the U.S. ranges from 1.4% in Florida to 9.9% in Alaska.[SUP][4][/SUP]
The U.S. National Library of Medicine notes that "some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and may also feel depressed. Though symptoms can be severe, they usually clear up."[SUP][5][/SUP] The condition in the summer can include heightened anxiety.[SUP][6][/SUP]
SAD was formally described and named in 1984 by Norman E. Rosenthal and colleagues at the National Institute of Mental Health.[SUP][7][/SUP][SUP][8][/SUP]

There are many treatments for classic (winter-based) seasonal affective disorder.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder
 
Thanksgiving hasn't been Thanksgivingy since my aunt stopped making it...that was maybe 1985. Christmas, bah humbug. I enjoy decorating the tree and putting out the menorah, we go to my nieces house and have gifts for the wee ones. But nothing like when our own kids were small...then it looked like ToysRUs exploded. My favorite holiday now is Halloween;)
 
SAD . .. 1.4% in Florida to 9.9% in Alaska ... one might infer that the warmer the climate the less chance of getting this affliction ... hmmm ... me smells another paper coming up ...

*off to research*
 
tnthomas said:
For me the holidays are stressful and a bit depressing- am still reliving the nightmare of child custody and visitation, even-though my kids are adults. Sounds petty, it is. But, it is my reality, my hell on Earth.

For some there is Seasonal affective disorderhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder
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Sounds about right when you take into account season vs holiday affecting the mood very different things.
 
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