The Holiday Season Saddens Me

SifuPhil said:
True - you don't often hear about SAD during the 4th of July ...
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Well you do get to blow stuff up so that might account for things in that instance for some relieves a lot of stress. :D Then again for some has the opposite effect later in the evening when the exploding just won't stop. :mad: LOL! Grrrrrrrrrrrr. But I do love my warmer climate, I would do better if I took full advantage of the days in the sun. I was one who was affected by seasonal disorder, fall up north drastically changed my mood for the worse, I love the feel of the sun and warmer temps. It had been my dream since my teens to move to a warmer sunnier place, though FL wasn't at the top of my list, CA was my first choice, but, here I am.
 

I have to fight depression this time of year. The whole season makes me miss my family (the one I grew up in) really bad and I feel very sad. One year right after Christmas (Dec 31) my 6 year old sister was hit by a car and killed. Christmas season is a time I can remember back to what we were doing then and I remember each person and miss them all. We didn't have big fancy "we are all happy" Christmas's but we had our own poor, depressed, angry people's brand of Christmas and it makes me miss my family. Due to religious belief's (which I will not go into as every time I talk about it someone gets pissed off at me) we did not celebrate Christmas when my husband and I were raising children so I don't feel sad missing my children this season.

My friend feels bad at Christmas as her children are grown (and her husband is dead) and she remembers every Christmas morning they'd go to McDonalds for breakfast, as a special treat. That wouldn't be a good memory for me, it'd be a nightmare as I hate McDonalds but everyone has their own memories.
 
AprilT said:
Well you do get to blow stuff up so that might account for things in that instance for some relieves a lot of stress. :D Then again for some has the opposite effect later in the evening when the exploding just won't stop. :mad: LOL! Grrrrrrrrrrrr. But I do love my warmer climate, I would do better if I took full advantage of the days in the sun. I was one who was affected by seasonal disorder, fall up north drastically changed my mood for the worse, I love the feel of the sun and warmer temps. It had been my dream since my teens to move to a warmer sunnier place, though FL wasn't at the top of my list, CA was my first choice, but, here I am.
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Blowing things up - LOL! I only get sad when I run out of explosives ...

I too held the dream of moving to a warmer climate - specifically, Florida - for many years. Being a native northerner I too felt the heavy weight of fall and winter on a yearly basis, and it does sap your strength after a while.

But until Florida legalizes weed I'm looking at Colorado.

One must always consider one's priorities. :eek:
 

I love Colorado except it's even more expensive than tri-state and they still have breed ban laws. Weed or no weed, if they don't welcome my dog they can go to heck...I heard they're trying to legalize it in NJ as soon as they oust Christie. Legalize it and perhaps the holidays will be merrier
th
 
Linda said:
I have to fight depression this time of year. The whole season makes me miss my family (the one I grew up in) really bad and I feel very sad. One year right after Christmas (Dec 31) my 6 year old sister was hit by a car and killed. Christmas season is a time I can remember back to what we were doing then and I remember each person and miss them all.
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I hear you Linda, Christmas usually reminds me of loved ones lost, parents, siblings, etc. My husband's parents were living in our home when they were sickly and elderly, and his father passed on Christmas day, very sad for us and each year is a reminder. My sincere condolences for the loss of your sister, you have certainly had more than your share of grief...hugs. :rose:
 
Christmas time is a gamut of emotions.
We have been programmed to believe it is all about family, joy, gifts and happiness. And sure many of us have had that in our life times over the Christmas season, but it goes away or changes and not always for the better. It can be a deeply depressing time when we start experiencing "the first Christmas without my kids here", "the first Christmas without mom, or dad", "the first Christmas without my partner" etc. Then the Christmas season starts to turn into a bad memory of loss at a time that was hammered into our head as being full of grandeur.
Sigh I have aging parents and this year for the first time ever our Christmas Dinner is going to be just them and my husband and I. It's very important to them to have us around as they are very solitary and lonely. We have told our grown children that to ease the pressure of all the split families they do not have to stress over coming out with us. We will be looking after the elders and happily so. But I know deep in my heart I will miss my daughters presence... and presents lol. Kidding
But in order to enjoy I think we have to alter our expectations.
For those who are alone, I hope you make the best of it. Connect with others online and don't be lonely. If you can get out, go volunteer at the soup kitchen. I dunno, just keep your spirits up :)
 
So true fish. I intend to make new holiday memories, like pearls on a string, by reaching out both on and offline. My busy young son recently said something that resonated with me. He believes that online contact offers an opportunity for true

connection because one has the chance to think before spewing out words--whereas offline it is all too easy to speak without
thinking things through.
 
Shalimar said:
... He believes that online contact offers an opportunity for true connection because one has the chance to think before spewing out words--whereas offline it is all too easy to speak without thinking things through.
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While true for most people, I'm not sure this applies to those of us stricken with the heartbreak of verbal diarrhea.
 
It's funny but in real life I'm very soft spoken add that and the hearing difficulties and communicating face to face can be tricky sometimes. My Mum would be telling me that I mumbled for so many years I made myself deaf. I know it was my kids...screamers all of 'em. Much easier writing or on the phone. I get frustrated when I have something particularly witty and by the time I make myself heard, the moment has passed.

Oy that Christmas Day is approaching like a train and I still don't have everything sorted. But to any of the pet lovers I suggest the gift a rescue group or shelter idea. It made me feel all warm inside. The shelter where we got Callie is on such a tight budget. Donating some treats and toys to brighten some lonely pup or kitties day is a great thing. Even donating time to walk some dogs or cuddle some cats...the animal groups usually need all the help they can get.

Another place to volunteer can be the hospitals. Something I would do if I could make the time. They have volunteers for babies in some of the bigger urban facilities. For babies born with habits and/or under the care of social services, they have people come in daily for cuddle time. Spend a couple hours cuddling babies, I mean does it get better than that?
 
ClassicRockr said:
Wife and I have each other and that makes for a VERY Merry Christmas for us. We've been to two church Christmas Programs and was at our apt. complex Christmas Party last night. All three were great!

I've already said this in a "Christmas Decorating" Thread, but will say it here.........when I was single/divorced, and wasn't involved with a girl, I didn't celebrate Christmas at all. Went to a couple of really nice company Christmas Party's, but that was it. I also bought some gifts for myself. Christmas Day was just another "day off" for me. Kind of made me depressed, but not a lot.
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Enjoy your good times, Rockr. File away those memories.
 
So much on this thread resonates with me. We share a common humanity. Little kids under the tree were Christmas for us. The joy gradually seeps away as they grow. All of those people who shared your memories gradually die off and life moves on to other places.
This will be my first season without Eleanor. I'm managing. The hurt is expected and not entirely unwelcome. It tells me that I loved my wife and that I know she loved me. It occurred to me the other day, that there will be no New Year's kiss for me this year, or at any other time for the rest of my life.
I put up an 18" "Charlie Brown" replica tree and decorated the room with the ornaments that had particular significance for us.
No hassling with Christmas lights ever again! :banana: There are some happy thoughts!

My son will be hosting a party the week after Christmas with all of the people I would love to see. It would be a great time.
Unfortunately, with the number of people there, my hearing aids would make it impossible. I will end up as a visual spectator.
Others will try to include me in the conversation while I repeat "What did you say?" or pretend to hear. I will just be another body to fall over, if I don't fall over myself. My son and his wife will be stopping by some night before Christmas. I am trying to convince them that that's really all I need. I have a very personal plan for spending Christmas Eve with my memories. I will be just fine.
So Happy Holidays everyone! :christmas2:
 
Ah, Rock, that's a sad story, but I'm glad you're finding the Christmas spirit regardless - good for you (and for Charlie Brown for lending you his tree!). ;)
 
Hugs and purrs to Rock and everyone else. I will have Callie, my Mr. Baby and my niece's cookies on Christmas Day. Everything else is just icing on the cake
 
I can't believe I'm still britching and whining about the holidays on this same thread a whole year later, a special thanks to the person who repped me by mistake to my year ago posting.

News year's resolution, no gripping about the holidays next year, will get it all out of my system by end of this year and then I'm done. :eek:k:

Do not show me this post next year if I happen to be around with another whine fest.
 
Agree fur --- we just need to have our supplies on hand --- comfort food -- chocolate, cookies, food, treats, favorite beverages, entertainment, comfy slippers --- ready, set, go.
 
Cookie said:
Agree fur --- we just need to have our supplies on hand --- comfort food -- chocolate, cookies, food, treats, favorite beverages, entertainment, comfy slippers --- ready, set, go.
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My thanks to Phil and Shali and Furry for your support and hugs. I will be fine. Cookie knows the score and there it is..
:cheers1::chocolate::yes:
 

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