The problem with cremation

Best friend of my step-dad passed and my step-dad, Mr. Bill, took his boat out and scattered his friend's ashes on the local river they both enjoyed so much. Mr. Bill said much of the ashes blew back onto the boat. Mr. Bill thought it rather humorous that each and every time thereafter, he took his boat out on the river, his friend went with him.
 

My brother-in-law still has his parent's ashes on top of the wardrobe. I asked my sister if anything happens to them what will happen to the ashes? She said it was not her problem. That is so disrespectful to the two people that gave their son life. They deserve a proper resting place.
 
I had the ashes of my mother’s cat for a few years. When my mother died I made sure that they were reunited.

I’ve arranged a direct cremation for myself and have a stone in the family plot.

Originally, I wasn’t going to bother with a stone but finally decided that it would be good to leave a trail for future generations of genealogy enthusiasts.

As far as my ashes go, it really doesn’t matter what happens to them.

“All we are is dust in the wind…” - Kansas
 

Radrook said:
I am scheduled for cremation as well. However, as a theist, I am not concerned about my ashes. I am concerned about the prospects of a resurrection.
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Yep. I'll be cremated and the ashes buried (in the landfill for all I care.) The last thing I want is my son to worry about an urn full of ashes. My soul will be somewhere else, those ashes ain't me.
 
debodun said:
Is anyone opting for traditional burials anymore?
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None in my family, that I can recall, since the mid 80s.

Now it’s becoming increasingly rare to have a church service or funeral ceremony.

When my sister in law died they had a brief get together in the cemetery and told stories from the past.

When my brother died, a year later, they talked about something similar and never seemed to pull it together.

I’ve left instructions for my own remains to go directly from the crematorium to the cemetery with no services or ceremony.

It’s a big shift from the late 50s when my grandfather died and they had two days of calling hours at home, a church service and a graveside service with a car load of flowers all captured in an album by a professional photographer.

I don’t think any of it is right or wrong, each person approaches the subject of death differently.
 
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hollydolly said:
Lots of people in the Uk who are not natural sailors..when asked by their loved ones to spread their ashes at sea.. go on a ferry to France or the Isle of Wight..or similar, and then get on the wrong side of the boat, throw the ashes and get a face full back...
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It's not that bad. The Yanomami in South America are known for eating at least a part of the ashes of their ancestors.
Yanomami - Wikipedia
 
In-a-nutshell , I agree with Aunt Bea . Burn me, put me in the cheapest can they have, and bury me in the cheapest plot in the cemetery . The way it's looking, I'll have no one left behind to 'spread' my ashes anyway. I say cheapest above because let's face it, I'll not enjoy anything fancy , and really only a few [if any] will be there to enjoy it either.

My only real problem with any of it is .... I need to get off my butt , and make the arrangements.

Just last night, talking to my one actual remaining friend about this, he mentioned an attorney he used, I think I'll call the same man.
 
I have chosen to be cremated. My wife or the person I selected to take charge of my body knows where to scatter the ashes. My dad was buried next to his father as a promise. My mom was cremated and her ashes were scattered by me in a park in her hometown. I did have to get a permit and I also requested a Pastor to attend and pray with me while I spread the ashes.

My mother danced in that park with the soldiers that came home from the service on leave or discharge. She belonged to the local USO Chapter. There was no charge for the dances and no alcohol was allowed. This was during WWII. My mom always told me those were her best days before she married my dad.
 
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I guess our family has always been very traditional, considering a funeral and burial just the way it is. My older brother had a different approach. One of them donated his body to medical research, which in his case, when complete his remains were cremated and returned to his family. The other brother specified cremation to his wife long before his death, and his wishes were followed. We own our burial plots, and have assumed that my wife and I would be buried next to our son who died at age 17, 24 years ago. I can't think of a good reason to change that plan in our case.
 
I think that this is going to make ancestry tracing a lot harder now that so many people have chosen to be cremated and not buried in a traditional cemetery; however I can totally understand why people choose this.

We talked it over (my kids and i) and since my oldest son has the family property in Idaho now, and there is plenty of room there, he has made a designated area to be for cremation ashes. That way, it does not have to be in an actual cemetery, but it will still be kind of a family burial ground.
As long as the property stays in the family, we will have our own place, and once no one is left and the property is sold, there would be nothing there for anyone else to even know about it.

My mom and dad bought the property back before the Great Depression , so it is a special place for all of us in my family. My folks lived there when I was born, I lived there for a long time in my mobile home, and now my son and his family have a house on the property. Hopefully, it will pass on to his sons; but even if it doesn’t, at least we will all have our ashes buried together there.
This is the old ranch house where my folks lived when I was born, from an old picture that I colored. It has long since been torn down.



IMG_6051.jpeg
 
I know what I want done with my ashes, but, if it gets done I won't know or care I'll probably go unclaimed and disposed of with a bunch of other unclaimed deceased and placed in a common grave and I don't care. Ideally, there is an old cemetery, a quiet forgotten place where we placed my MIL and hopefully, my wife will go to be buried with her. I just want to be scattered over the grave the thought of spending forever in that woman's company is not something I relish.

But, like I said I'll probably go unclaimed and come to rest in Potter's field when they throw out the unclaimed ashes more than likely someone will throw me in a dumpster, and off to the landfill I'll go.
 
TheOtherRick said:
I know what I want done with my ashes, but, if it gets done I won't know or care I'll probably go unclaimed and disposed of with a bunch of other unclaimed deceased and placed in a common grave and I don't care. Ideally, there is an old cemetery, a quiet forgotten place where we placed my MIL and hopefully, my wife will go to be buried with her. I just want to be scattered over the grave the thought of spending forever in that woman's company is not something I relish.

But, like I said I'll probably go unclaimed and come to rest in Potter's field when they throw out the unclaimed ashes more than likely someone will throw me in a dumpster, and off to the landfill I'll go.
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.. and the negative aspect is ?
 
rgp said:
In-a-nutshell , I agree with Aunt Bea . Burn me, put me in the cheapest can they have, and bury me in the cheapest plot in the cemetery . The way it's looking, I'll have no one left behind to 'spread' my ashes anyway. I say cheapest above because let's face it, I'll not enjoy anything fancy , and really only a few [if any] will be there to enjoy it either.

My only real problem with any of it is .... I need to get off my butt , and make the arrangements.

Just last night, talking to my one actual remaining friend about this, he mentioned an attorney he used, I think I'll call the same man.
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Cut out the middleman and deal direct with the undertaker. Arrange a prepaid revocable trust with the undertaker.

Also, check the cemetery where your family is buried to see if you can have your ashes buried in an existing grave.

I’m being buried at the foot of my grandmother’s grave and chose a simple flush to the ground granite marker, which is now in place.

Those simple choices saved thousands.

Now when I die all that needs to be done is to have someone call the undertaker and he will pay the crematorium and the cemetery, from the trust.
 
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Crematoriums will dispose of people's ashes if you ask them to. The disposal fee is about the same as what you pay for their mid-priced urns.

I was going to have the crematorium dispose of my sister's ashes, but her son said he wants them. So I bought one of their nicer urns.
 

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